Kinzz,
What are you trying to say here? What side are you on? Are you supporting the idea of staying with your husband even if he’s abusive? Or are you supporting the idea that a woman should leave if her husband is consistently abusive?
I think that unless you’re in the situation, it’s really difficult to say with 100% certainty what a person would do. For example, we might sit here (those that don’t have an abusive spouse or are single) and say that “The first time he hits me due to anger, I’m just gonna leave him.” You say that with certainty but when you find yourself in THAT situation…you might not leave until the 20th strike.
A woman who allows herself to be beaten by her spouse doesn’t love herself…so how can she say that she “loves” her husband? You have to love yourself before you can love others…cliche as it sounds. Otherwise what you think is “love” could actually be an emotional insecurity.
Have to let it go? Yani k she HAS to tolerate the abuse? I don’t think so. Even religion does not say that she HAS to tolerate such a nightmare. She always has the option to wake up, develop some respect for herself, and leave him for a better and safer future for herself. If he truly loved her…he wouldn’t hit her in the first place. If he hit her, he doesn’t love her. And love should be mutual or else…unfortunately…it’s just a aik tarfah or one-sided situation.
And what if the children follow the father’s poor example? What if a woman’s son grows up to be abusive because that’s what he learned from his dad? What if he grows up with anger management problems? What if the daughter grows up with low-self esteem issues?
**** Childhood only comes once, Kinzz. And sometimes we don’t realize the value of it until after it’s gone and we become adults…and wish that things had gone differently. To rob your kids of a happy childhood…when you had the power to prevent it is SAD. Kids can have a more secure upbringing with just one parent as well.