Icon, I know islam allows a man to marry for the purpose of children alone. I respect who welcome their husband's decision to marry for the sake of having kids but after living in the Middle East and North America and seeing "Parents" in the West and the East, the thing that has always amazed me that for some having kids is not to give them tarbiyyat to become good muslims rather its just to have kids.
And for couples who do not have kids, honestly I believe there is more to this relationship than just having kids, yes I know kids bring them closer but they only do that in an already good relationship.
Also for all of us muslims, Allah has explicitly mentioned in the Holy Quran that He tests some by giving sons and daughters, some by giving them sons, some by giving them daughters and some by not giving them children at all. Deprivation (as you call it ) of parenthood doesn't come from the woman or from the man, it is the Will of Allah ....
Doesn’t apply to all but most of 'em are jealous of other women. Jealous of other women’s looks, hair colour, toned body, career path etc. Not having confidence when one’s husband is amongst his female friends or even talking to a female leads to raised eyebrows. Husband is having a shower let’s check his mobile for texts and contact list etc etc etc.
I'm getting out of this thread before I say something that I regret. Before I go though.....
No wonder poor women like me are getting more and more depressed and consequently outcast. This is the feeling of our zahil community - it's disgraceful.
I'm sorry but it's hard enough living with (in my case) the loss of children in pregnancy, without having it drummed in, that the way to treat your wife in such a situation is to go and marry another.
Yes, in the heat of the moment, and when I've felt VERY depressed at my husband not being a father, I've told him that he shoudl go marry someone who will give him children............. His response? It's always been "You gave me 2 beautiful children who will be waiting for us at the gates of jannat, who else can say that their wife has prepared their way fo rthe heirafter in this life? Waiseh, once we've prepared for the heriafter, Allah SWT will insha allah give us the comfort of children in this duniya. Hameh yakin hai"
That's it, I don't want to fall out with anyone so it's better I leave
........... a very tragic story , indeed, i felt sorry for them but that sister should be blamed for breaking someone's ( brother's)marriage.
i know a family who went through the same thing , couple #1 got married on watta satta basis and have a daughter , wife's bother ( who's in U.S) had nikah with her huband's sister / nand that's couple # 2, now in couple #2 in order to have a rukhsati the guy in U.S was suppose to get a green card for his nikaahfied wife but he failed to do so within timeline given to him by his in laws , they thought the guy wasn't willing to get married to their daughter at first place so they asked for divorce / khulla. so while couple # 2 had divorce , the girls's family forced their son ( who's in couple #1 ) to divorce his wife too , hance couple #1 got divorced too, that lady is with her mother now alongwith her own daughter and i feel so sorry for them whenever i see them , both partners in couple #2 have got married and now have families
[quote]
My wife was of the opinion that worst in the story is the man who desroyed his own family by listening to his sister, but, i felt worst inthe story is the woman who destroyed her own family and then family of her brother.
[/quote]
I understand her destroying family of her brother, but how did she destroy her own life? it was her HUSBAND who married another woman. It is difficult for a woman to remain in a marriage where the hubby remarries. Now as for the other case, every adult is accountable for his/her actions, no matter what anyone says, at the end of the day he/she is to make the decision and live with it.....
I can imagine the pressure the sister may have given him, but im sure there wasn't a gun to his head saying divorce your wife....its a tough situation I guess and only people going through it know how it feels.
i always wonder that whenever there's a family where males r dominant and they made their family or someone else suffer whoever try to break their calculated rules, there's sucha hue and cry and all fingers point towards them , but on the other hand families where women r dominated ,woh bhee in jahil and nasty way and they make wrong dicisions and make their family or others suffer no one say a word ............. how bizzare
but on the other hand families where women r dominated ,woh bhee in jahil and nasty way and they make wrong dicisions and make their family or others suffer no one say a word ............. how bizzare
That's because either those women are so empowering and dominating that everyone is afraid to say anything or they imply their decisions through men of the family. At the end of the day, they are seedhi saadhi, bholo bhali, ghrailoo khawateen.
Icon, I know islam allows a man to marry for the purpose of children alone. I respect who welcome their husband's decision to marry for the sake of having kids but after living in the Middle East and North America and seeing "Parents" in the West and the East, the thing that has always amazed me that for some having kids is not to give them tarbiyyat to become good muslims rather its just to have kids.
And for couples who do not have kids, honestly I believe there is more to this relationship than just having kids, yes I know kids bring them closer but they only do that in an already good relationship.
Also for all of us muslims, Allah has explicitly mentioned in the Holy Quran that He tests some by giving sons and daughters, some by giving them sons, some by giving them daughters and some by not giving them children at all. Deprivation (as you call it ) of parenthood doesn't come from the woman or from the man, it is the Will of Allah ....
That's because either those women are so empowering and dominating that everyone is afraid to say anything or they imply their decisions through men of the family. At the end of the day, they are seedhi saadhi, bholo bhali, ghrailoo khawateen.
..........those r women's worst enemies and i feel disgusting for those males who follow them blindly without ever trying to think with their own damn brains
It’s sad that even after being so educated, people like you hold such backwards and ghatya mentalities such as that.
A woman’s true enemy is not another woman, it is the man who does not have enough brain cells or a backbone to stand up for hte people he loves and submits to the will of someone else.
Just becuase she was pressuring hm to divorce the wife doesn’t mean that he actually had to listen to her. Just because his mother was pressuring him to divorce the wife doesn’t mean that he actually had to listen to her. In the end it was HIS decision. He was married to thsi woman, had children with her, and he was the one who got the divorce.
So no it’s not the woman who is the enemy here, it’s the man, he was too silly and weak to stand up for his family. Hopefully, him and his sister will get what they deserve.
^You are underestimating thepower of 2 constantly bickering females who happen to be ones mother and sister. It can push people to suicide not just divorce, by the way the guy did not divorce his wife, he did marry another one.
Secondly, one shud extend to others what one expects for himself/herself.
If there is a female who wants to have kids and happens to marry a person who cannot procreate, should she be forced to live the rest of her life with that guy? If she still willingly decides to continue her marriage for her own free will then its her choice but if she does not, can she be forced?
^You are underestimating thepower of 2 constantly bickering females who happen to be ones mother and sister. It can push people to suicide not just divorce, by the way the guy did not divorce his wife, he did marry another one.
Secondly, one shud extend to others what one expects for himself/herself.
If there is a female who wants to have kids and happens to marry a person who cannot procreate, should she be forced to live the rest of her life with that guy? If she still willingly decides to continue her marriage for her own free will then its her choice but if she does not, can she be forced?
I would like to read the answer of this question from guppans who are mussalsal ranting against men.
One question is why the heck he couldnt just adopt.There are so many kids born in this world that need love and care and what the selfish ..yes selfish man did was run out to find him a replacment.
As my husband says, I have you and I am happy with you. Children were never a guarantee, just a hypothetical in my future. Why would I give up someone I have for sure for someone uncertain and unknown?
I am shocked and appalled to hear the cruelty that some would show to a spouse who is infertile.
If my husband and I want kids and can't have them, then we'll adopt. We won't break our marriage for something that Allah SWT has chosen not to give us.
Ask, isn't it selfish too that a person would like to keep one's partner childless if he/she cannot procreate?
What about couples in west who go for IVF with a donated egg? are they selfish too?
Sahar, the person in question did not divorce her wife for not being able to conceive, he married second time, wife herself filed for divorce after her husband took another wife.
Ask, isn't it selfish too that a person would like to keep one's partner childless if he/she cannot procreate?
What about couples in west who go for IVF with a donated egg? are they selfish too?
Sahar, the person in question did not divorce her wife for not being able to conceive, he married second time, wife herself filed for divorce after her husband took another wife.
So if it wasn't because of the fact they couldn't conceive why was it??????????????????????????
Icon,.... seriously dude I am rather offended by you constantly saying that one partner is keeping the other childless.... don't you get it...that the person who is not able to procreate is not doing so by choice, it is Allah's will that they can't have kids.
And if any husband is happy with a wife who can't have kids or if a wife is happy with a husband who can't have kids, why is it so wrong??? I mean is your purpose as a wife only to give your husband kids.... in that way the men in Saudi Arabia must be the happiest of the whole lot...their women seem to procreate an awful lot....
Our Holy Prophet SAW didn't have any surviving kids with any of his wives except Hazrat Khadija(ra), did He marry to have more kids... did He taunt his wives.... did they feel low and worthless and dejected coz they didn't or couldn't have kids....
