Before anyone starts bashing me with lectures about unconditional love of mother and all that, I have to say, I totally understand it but I have always wondered about this question so thought I will ask away:
Lets say in a relationship, husband and wife dont get along very well but the wife ends up being pregnant (nothing unusual), the husband turns out to be a jerk during pregnancy, how come mother still loves her child and will do anything for that child? I mean isnt that child half of the man who makes her life hell?Is there some kind of a magic potion that makes her ignore that and just give her 100% to that child? or even give birth to that child?Wont that child remind her of the man whom she doesn’t get along with, or probably even hates?
I am expecting my first child, I love my husband, i love my baby.. but I wonder if I would feel the same in case I didnt love my husband? in case we didnt share such a special bond? would I ever be resentful to the child if I didnt have such a supportive, caring, loving husband?
hareem.. I have never seen such an example so I was kind of curious!!! I know this one woman who hasnt spoken to her husband in probably 6 years, even though they live in a same house,
but she absolutely adores her children and will do anything for them! I just dun understand it!
njga;.. I believe that.. thats what mostly happens. :-)
I think you will end up loving the child...gradually.Children have that thing about them.You can hardly resist falling in love with them,especially if it is the one you gave birth to.
Unfortunately there are also cases when the parents don't get along and the mother leaves the father as well as the kids,never to look back at them again.I think you know what I am talking about...!
i think it could happen but mostly you end up wanting to protect the child from the jerk. i think the half of the kid that is you ends up taking over the other half that is your husband in that case... having had my kid now, i know if hubby ever went a-hole on us- which he never would lol- i'd kick his ass so hard if he ever turned on the kid. it would definitely not end well for him- call it fierce mama syndrome or whatever- its very very hard not to love your child as a mother.
My friend's been through that. Her husband was alcoholic and abusive during her pregnancy but she loved her unborn child regardless because she felt a sense of ownership towards it. I think it's natural for you to love your child because it loves you back... also, the maternal instict is a built in thing I feel. You carry this thing for 9 months, go through hell to have it, so when you hold it, you establish a connection that you cannot explain.
Zareen.. I think you missed the point.. I was asking about the mindset that makes the woman love the child so much despite the fact that the person she shared this bond with turned out to be a jerk!!!
Anyone who is talking abotu "whats the baby's fault" has entirely missed the question.. it was about the nature of the mother who loves her child, no matter what!!! baby is getting the love here, which they absolutelydeserve! I was curious about the woman's mindset that makes her love that child so much!!
Zareen.. I think you missed the point.. I was asking about the mindset that makes the woman love the child so much despite the fact that the person she shared this bond with turned out to be a jerk!!!
God forbid, it wasn't anything personal!!
no i was also talking about it generally that if such a case happens 2 any women then thats wat they shud do.....as for yr other question, i dnt really know i guess women who r mothers can answer better :)
I think it is the natural mother's instinct.The instinct that makes you fall in love with the idea of a baby,then wanting a baby,then feeling immense love the moment it is known that they are expecting,and then the limitless love once the baby is here.It is just a natural thing.
I do get it when you say that the baby is also his,but I think the love for the baby is more powerful than the dislike for the father...
If I am to think it like this what I will feel towards my child if my husband is a jerk,I can say I will still love my child ....if I am to leave my husband (God forbid),I would want to take my child with me and protect him/her in every possible way.
But, then we all are just answering a hypothetical situation.We never will know what goes on in the minds of women who are in such unfortunate relationships.
Lets say in a relationship, husband and wife dont get along very well but the wife ends up being pregnant (nothing unusual), the husband turns out to be a jerk during pregnancy, how come mother still loves her child and will do anything for that child?
I think this may not be the full responsibilty of the mother, but this is the quality of the mother. This is why in Islam, we are asked to take care of our mothers and its necessary for us to do in order to earn Jannat. Mothers (for most of the part) love their kids unconditionally.
I think it also has to do with the fact that the mother carries the child. From the first time you feel your child move to the agony of delivery. The woman's body releases ferramones to give her a calm protective feeling. SO I guess women are wired that way. But at the end of the day there are women who kill there children because they can't handle the duties of motherhood. So exceptions are always there. But you can also look at it this way. the man gives the sperm and the rest is all the woman. It would be like opening a business with someone you don't like but they give you the initial money than all the hard work is you. Would you consider that business more yours?
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