am furious that things always work this way in my family. a particualr incident, where my cousin tells us that shes getting her nikah done sometime soon, so her sister in law is my sister and i asked ym sister so whens the nikah, she said she knew nothing and so asked her FIL. their family is really odd anyway, so he decides to flip out and call my house and accuse my MIL of lying…when his daughter blatantly told us. luckily my MIL was aslp at the time so husband answered. but what happens?i get in the s**** just because i asked my sister. why is this my fault the cousin lies to her dad that she didnt utter a word to us, even though she did. so rather than suspect her, he dcicded to give us a lecture. how does this work…i was then told off by MIL and husband also gave me a lecture on why i asked my sister…apparently i have the big mouth now…is this my fault…while the cosuin whose now lied and said she didnt utter a word gets off scot-free, when i just innocently asked my sister when the nikah was…i dnt understand people like this…is this a typcial paki thing…i swear my white friends never gave me this much headache…
PEOPLE often say tings about me, like mypregancy, the entire world has found out, but have i called up people to accuse them of blabbing…so why do i get it in the **** all the time…even my own mum would most likly blame me for this…my MIL has already said i told u because i trusted u blah blah…wth have i done exactly…
I could not figure out how all of the Pakistan works , and I was born and raised there. Seriously. Two times I went to two of my bosses with evidence of cheating by this employee and nothing was done against him . I had to quit and go on my marry way.
You might never be able to figure out how the family dynamics , or the whole society works there.
Just take the S*** t and keep quite. If your husband cannot stand up for you then nobody is going to save you from this BS. For most families a bhabi , a baho , a wife is the only fall guy for all the s*t happening in the families. You cannot win them just join them and play the same game.
It is not a generalization , it applies to only those families where this kind of S*t happens.
nadz...stay away from the drama. you are preggers and the last thing you need is extra headache. you dont have time for this nonsense to steer clear of it and stop caring about who gets married when and to what.
its not your fault but if you start to get into the why's of this...where will that take you? do you think there is any solution to this issue aside from just staying away from it? probably not.
just think about your little one on the way - thats it. focus on being healthy, happy and drama-free.
when your cousin told you that her nikah will be soon, why not go back to her to ask when?
why get your sister involved?
THAT is my question too. Honestly, your cousin probably mentioned it because she's already engaged (officially or unofficially) and she meant that it'll happen soon- not for you to ask your sister when exactly will it be happening because THAT makes her (your cousin) look desperate. That's not nice. If you were confused about it, you should've asked the cousin in question.
I guess its that her cousin told her the secret of her getting nikahfied soon but then the cousin lied to her family that she didn't disclose the secret to anyone and Nadz getting in trouble when she accidentally told others about the nikah.
Such things also happen in my extended family. They have their rishtas done, they don't tell anything to anyone and keep secrets unnecessarily. But since I had very close friendships with few of my cousins, they spill the beans to me with a warning to NOT to disclose this to anyone and sometimes without the warning. When I sometimes accidentally spit the 'secret', I get in trouble.
my sister and her live together thats why i asked her. the cousin wasnt talking to me, she was talking to my MIL i was busy going in and out of kitchen to take notice of every bit of detail in their convo. it was a normal question.
What relationship do your sister’s in-laws have with your in-laws?
The reason for asking is that if they are close i.e. blood relatives then it makes a difference. Also, don’t think you were the only one told off. I’m sure if there was any truth to the matter then your sister’ sister in law was also told off. I think they don’t want your sister to know and they ultimately don’t want your in-laws to know - so they have denied it and asked their daughter to lie as well … A lot of desis are paranoid/superstituous about letting out information before the deal is done - they consider it tempting fate or something like that …
It's not weird for two sisters to talk to each other and share secrets. What is odd is that your sis went to her FIL when she should have figured that something was up. Why wouldn't she speak to her SIL or leave it alone? She was obviously looking for a little drama.
couldn’t you have just tucked that bit of info somewhere in your brain? … why ask follow up questions on a topic that wasn’t being shared with your directly?? (you said she was talking with your MIL and you were in n out of kitchen to keep track of the convo … in which case, you little snoop you! … OR did you mean you were in n out so couldn’t keep track of convo???)
either ways … as the proverb goes … curiosity killed the cat!
… in which case, you little snoop you! 
… OR did you mean you were in n out so couldn’t keep track of convo???)