I’ve read all the unfortunate things that have happened to people here and now here is one that happened to me.
(I will try to summarize it)
The girl’s mamoon visited London (where I live) and saw me at some desi gathering there. Apparently he thought I would make a really good match with her so he told his wife to talk to my mom and my mom said ok send the picture we will consider it. We got the picture and I liked the girl a lot, so my parents said fine we’ll contact family and begin talks. The girl is in Lahore. My parents talked to her parents briefly then we booked a flight to Lahore and met the family a few times.
When I first met the girl I got an undescribable feeling of certainty that she was the one and I wanted to marry her. We met another couple of times and I said yes and my parents thought her parents seemed decent as well so we said yes.
What we found a bit odd is they kept pushing for the nikka within weeks of meeting us but we wanted to get to know the family a bit more since they were complete strangers to us so we said we’ll do engagement in a few months and nikka a few months after that and we left Pakistan.
I continued talking to the girl online and on the phone for a few months and everything seemed fine, it came time for the engagement so we went back to Pakistan a couple of weeks before it.
Here is the real twist: we met and fixed the shaadi dates one day and next day we got a call from the girls father saying “my sister is really sick and we need to delay the wedding and we need time but dont know how long”. And the sister had been sick for a while so it was nothing new that happened overnight! We told them that we should postpone the engagement as well until everything is certain.
We didnt hear back from them and when we tried contacting them their attitude had changed and they blamed us for canceling everything and basically said we don’t know anymore and we’ll get back to you. And we never heard from the again.
Lonely trip back to london…
What do you think happened?? From pushing us to get the nikka done to all of a sudden scrapping it all??
im SO sorry that sucks. I honestly dont know what to say...i know of a girl who like had her nikkah done w/ some really great guy but they kept pushing the ruksati even though the girl was done w/ school and was just sitting around at home unemployed. So the guys family went to pak for shadi ki tayarian and the freaking girl is the one that was in a rush to distribute cards and tell everyone. then a month before the rukhsati she decides she wants to postpone the wedding for no reason...and the wedding is called off now...
most probably they found someone else. OR sometimes, random guys are used as pawns in girl's side family politics.
for instance, a girl's mother might be interested in marrying off her daughter to her sibling's son (girl's cousin). But her sibling might not be open to this idea. So, the girl's mother might go through the whole drama of finding a rishta for her daughter, and use it as a leverage / threat to force / coerce / rush her sibling into sending rishta for her daughter.
i was in such situations twice, where after saying yes to me, the girls went ahead to marry their cousins. funnily enough, in such situations, whenever you visit the girl's side, her mamoon, chacha, taya, khala, phuphoo everyone is there to complete the whole show.
its a sad story but u dun need to be too much sad .. even u have choosen the name sorrow, come on move and look ahead.. may be u were started to like the girl but u were not in love with her badly so its ok it happened sometime.. cheer up man !
for instance, a girl's mother might be interested in marrying off her daughter to her sibling's son (girl's cousin). But her sibling might not be open to this idea. So, the girl's mother might go through the whole drama of finding a rishta for her daughter, and use it as a leverage / threat to force / coerce / rush her sibling into sending rishta for her daughter.
i was in such situations twice, where after saying yes to me, the girls went ahead to marry their cousins. funnily enough, in such situations, whenever you visit the girl's side, her mamoon, chacha, taya, khala, phuphoo everyone is there to complete the whole show.
Lol yup! i have heard this happens too, when someone is getting committed someone from extended family wakes up n thinks they have a better offer to make, lol. khair i guess hota wohi hai jo kismet mein likha hai.
Sorrow, why didnt you ask the girl? You should've asked her to get out of this confusion. As you've mentioned you used to talk to her online and on phone so you would be better able to judge her feeling through her tone and style.
Sorrow, why didnt you ask the girl? You should've asked her to get out of this confusion. As you've mentioned you used to talk to her online and on phone so you would be better able to judge her feeling through her tone and style.
This seems like such a simple solution but I dont think she will give me an honest answer. I did actually talk to her a last time and she was just so wound up and kept attacking me and gave me no chance to speak. Just told me its all my family's fault and gave me an earful. After that I didnt have the courage to talk to her again, and I never heard from her either so I guess she didnt want it to happen.
ahahhahahahahahha
BAHAHAHAHAHA =)))))))))
