see, you people were not in a hurry in the begining, but as you said yourself, maybe they were. Larki walay have always been in a more delicate and sensitive situation than the larka walas. Their positions are also quite different. Your family can think and take time and wait for ten more years before they arrange your marriage but same is not the case with a family of girl. The parents of girl have almost always it being their top priority to arrange the marriage of their daughters as soon as they can and it is very very appreciable islamically too. Again, I dont think they should be bad mouthed or condemned if they found a better rishta where maybe they found flexibility and equal understanding at the different matters about how and when should the wedding be arranged. In your situation it sounds like a monologue. Im sorry but I feel maybe something happened from your side which gave them a wrong message and they backed away. Anyway, when your family is so samajhdar and strong masha Allah to let things happen according to their own terms, why bother if one rishta backed away. There will be hundreds more. I dont think now you should make the issue of those larki walas now it is disgraceful and indecent.
see, you people were not in a hurry in the begining, but as you said yourself, maybe they were. Larki walay have always been in a more delicate and sensitive situation than the larka walas. Their positions are also quite different. Your family can think and take time and wait for ten more years before they arrange your marriage but same is not the case with a family of girl. The parents of girl have almost always it being their top priority to arrange the marriage of their daughters as soon as they can and it is very very appreciable islamically too. Again, I dont think they should be bad mouthed or condemned if they found a better rishta where maybe they found flexibility and equal understanding at the different matters about how and when should the wedding be arranged. In your situation it sounds like a monologue. Im sorry but I feel maybe something happened from your side which gave them a wrong message and they backed away. Anyway, when your family is so samajhdar and strong masha Allah to let things happen according to their own terms, why bother if one rishta backed away. There will be hundreds more. I dont think now you should make the issue of those larki walas now it is disgraceful and indecent.
All this would make sense if we hadn't flown in from London specifically to get our engagement done and we BOTH committed to specific wedding dates right away as well! I mean if that doesn't show them commitment then nothing will.
Bro, it looks like you got played. Sorry to hear that. It sucks. Hang in there. Sometimes there are no answers, or none we'd like to hear anyway. If she didn't wanna let you go, she wouldn't have. It's time for you to mend your heart, and hope for the best the next time you put yourself out there. Good luck and stuff.
In all fairness, they should have told you why they said no, the sister thing seems like a euphemism but look at the bright side, atleast you arent stuck in a difficult relationship, one lonely trip back to London is way better than one that holds you up for the resr of your life.
It is not shocking.
More shocking is the one where this guy got nikahfied with a Canadian national desi girl. They filed paperwork for him , then they told him to bugger off and canceled the sponsorship and filed for divorce.
This guy was so heart broken. The girls family cited some lame reasons for breaking this nikah.
I don't want to make assumptions or portray the girls side in a bad way as iam a girl myself. However there was a similar situation on with my husbands best friend. Basically the girls side pushed the boys side for a quick nikkah and refused to have a mangni. Then later on the girls side refused just a week before the wedding.
The scenario was that the girl was involved with another guy and her parents were not happy so tried to get her married quickly because the guy that the girl was involved with refused to marry her. So to escape badnaami they tried to do get their daughter married of. Then the guy took the daughter back so the girls parents told my husbands friends parents that they don't want to go ahead with the nikkah. Now the girl is married to the guy she was involved with and my husbands friend is happily married. As whatever happens it happens for the best
Jerry Springer should make a Pakistani version of his show...
Listen, praise Allah you got out of that deal -- think of the drama and chakaren-nakheren you WON'T have to deal with for the rest of your days! Phew, boy, you nearly got snared!
If it was meant to be, then it would have happened. It didn't happen, so it was not meant to be. Phir sahi.
What so wrong about it, earlier they wanted to get the Nikah thing done and your family post-pone the event inorder to get to know the family, it is possible that the girls side also took the opportunity and tried to get to know your family and arrived at a conclusion that better not to wed their daughter in your family... your family might have done the same had they found any fault in girl's family...
We didnt hear back from them and when we tried contacting them their attitude had changed and they blamed us for canceling everything and basically said we don't know anymore and we'll get back to you. And we never heard from the again.
Lonely trip back to london...
What do you think happened?? From pushing us to get the nikka done to all of a sudden scrapping it all??
I think what has happened is that the girls father's sister was sick and maybe she wanted her to get married to someone else ( maybe her son )like a last wish- that is why they kept pushing your family because they didnt wanted to wed their daughter to his son now that his sister got sick he had to listen to his sister. i'm just sayin.
Thanks for the support everyone. I've decided I'm just going to forgot the whole thing and try to move on- since we will never truly know what happened. I have now accepted that fact.
Thanks for the support everyone. I've decided I'm just going to forgot the whole thing and try to move on- since we will never truly know what happened. I have now accepted that fact.
good ! :) and please change this sorrow as well :P
most probably they found someone else. OR sometimes, random guys are used as pawns in girl's side family politics.
**for instance, a girl's mother might be interested in marrying off her daughter to her sibling's son (girl's cousin). But her sibling might not be open to this idea. So, the girl's mother might go through the whole drama of finding a rishta for her daughter, and use it as a leverage / threat to force / coerce / rush her sibling into sending rishta for her daughter.
i was in such situations twice, where after saying yes to me, the girls went ahead to marry their cousins. funnily enough, in such situations, whenever you visit the girl's side, her mamoon, chacha, taya, khala, phuphoo everyone is there to complete the whole show**.
My frnd had similar story. Guys parent asked guy about some girl in Pak. He knew girls family but not her extended family. He said yes. Guys family proposed. Girls cousin (mamoo ka beta) was interested in girl, both families knew abt it. they tried to give girls mamoo and her cousin a hint that she has got a promising proposal. Girls Mamoo thought girls family is playing games so girls mamoo could come with her rishta.
So Girls family said yes to my frnds parents and they started deciding on dates. The tickets are bought guys family is ready to go to Pakistan and girls cousin wakes up. He talks to his father, girls parents, his siblings and girls siblings. There was quiet a drama but girls parents said we already said yes to this party and now we cant ditch em. We have years of friendship. Girls mamoo couldnt believe that the rishta took place this fast.
Now girl is happily married with my frnd. Cousin is still un married and he is interested in another cousin now.
sorry to hear ur story its sad that it did happened i m not really pleased with somebodys comment on specifying lahori tag as its nt really tells us his character u cant specify a place by tagging like that , sorrow listen u should of asked the girl and y u didnt ve the courage u ve had sort of realtionship u know on talking terms u shd of asked her firmly u know. u should only be contented that it wasnt Allah's will that u two were nt meant to be together . be happy i m sure u will find some nice soni kuri world is full of girls . and by the some really good ones too u ve to look hard for a good one