A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

"A shameless and disgraceful trend observed nowadays among some of our Muslim brothers and even Muslim sisters, is the practice of discussing intimate bedroom and sexual secrets with friends and acquaintances. Some times, these discussions take place in the presence of even relative strangers without a care in the world. Such is the handiwork of shaytaan that at times, ostensibly learned, pious and somewhat respectable people tend to do this.

This type of dirty conversation takes place when people are idle and engaged in futile pursuits. Having nothing better to do, they engage in dirty talk, giving a reflection of what lurks inside of them. These talks normally take place at clubhouses, during fishing and camping trips, card-playing sessions, billiard and pool games, golfing sessions, on journeys, etc. People relate with relish the finer details of their private doings, sometimes in a very boastful manner, before others. Some times, a person describes the delicate parts of his wife’s anatomy before others in such a crude and revealing manner, he figuratively ‘strips’ her before others. In this way they are actually able to ‘see’ his wife with the mind’s eye.

These dirty ways are the net outcome of the accumulated filth of the west’s shameless culture that has found its way in the life and homes of Muslims. The heavy deluge of pornographic material in the form of blue movies, steamy videos, raunchy magazines and novels, and now, internet-based pornography in the life of Muslims has contributed towards these shameless practices. May Allah cleanse all Muslims of this spiritual rot and moral muck.

This type of immodest practice has no place in Islam. There is no room for such dirty ways in a religion that preaches modesty and purity in every facet of life. **Imaan is the very epitome of haya (modesty). “lmaan is modesty through and through” - Hadith. When modesty departs from the life of a person, it is feared that Imaan will follow shortly, Allah forbid! **Muslims need to protect and promote the culture of modesty at all times in order to safeguard their Imaan. Such unsavoury practices are the very anti-thesis of modesty and shame.

There can be a terrible outcome to this. People listening to this graphic description become attracted towards the woman being described, sometimes with a bit of exaggeration. They may not be experiencing the same sexual gratification in their own lives, so greed and lust gets the better of them. A pass is made at the woman, which is some times successful (sic). One thing leads to another and finally the marriage is ruined, resulting in endless misery, heartache, disgrace and sin for all involved. Allah protect!

The following Hadith ought to act as a strong warning and a deterrent to those guilty of this. Hazrat Abu Saeed (radiyallahu-anhu) reports that Nabi (sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: “The worst person in the eyes of Allah on the Day of Qiyamah is that couple who have an intimate relation with each other and the man then reveals the (bedroom) secrets to others” -Muslim Shareef "
A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

:frowning: May Allah save us from such evil practices..

What are your thoughts? Is it more common in the “unpar” households or it’s same ratio between “educated” households? Saying that education does not help nor save us from evil habits…

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

True that its spreading . But its over all phenomenon of shamelessness . I have seen so many Americans talking about it . Its very common on campus that you hear girls talking about their last night venture openly with their friends . I think with a strong western influence on our society we are adopting their norms . The problem comes when we can't rationalize our action because of our weak bases in religion . I am guilty of it too . May Allah give us enough wisdom to differentiate between right and wrong .

A relationship between husband and wife is based on trust , and sharing any sort of information which is very personal to both is disgusting .

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

I don't think education and money has anything to do with it at all. I know most men don't talk about their wives like this...

But wives on the other hand, do it but not as crudely as guys do (or are known to do ) :p

known to do? You're eyes will pop out and remain like that for some time if I tell you what these GUYS say.

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

I still don't think husbands talk about their wives. Maybe bf/gfs but not spouses.

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

But one thing I must tell that men have double standards . They talk about their gfs whatever , but they hardly talk like that about their wives .

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

dunno dude, I have never heard any of my relatives or friends, desi or nondesi, muslim or nonmuslim talk about details of their marital life let alone intimate details. It has to be some sort of upbringing issue.

This. Minus the bf portion of course.

Same here.

Which part you have objection on, talking about the GF part or not talking about the wife part?

I had two incidents where guys shared with me the happenings of their first night. One went into details of even telling me very personal things:smack:, the other just wanted to tell me this his wife complimented him on his .. errm .. dimensions.

Not talking about the wife part. Obviously.

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

Oh wow.

the second one just wanted to brag :hehe:

Just revealing some inside information :p

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

I’ve heard only women do this kind of stuff. But then I don’t hang around men’s locker rooms either.

ANyhow, I think it’s in a woman’s nature to share this kind of stuff which is very inappropriate. Sometimes women do it to get sympathy [oh look how greedy my husband is while i’m not needy at all] or to share excitement [look how cutting edge we are]. Whatever the reasons are, it isn’t a good idea.

TLK :smack: The sad part is that I know both those guys and now I can never look em in the eye :nahi:

TLK you are too close to your friends man . :nono:

just a concern, the ones who talk about their gfs, did anyone of em end up marrying their gfs?

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

I have never heard any of my friend talking this (neither I have talked to ANYONE about this). Girls I know on the other hand are much friendly in their circle (close friends, cousins and sisters) and they spit all out even on 2nd day of wedding.

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

I would NEVER talk about stuff like this nor would I listen if my friends started to talk about it. I mean, come on. I look at their husbands like brothers!

You know the rule , right ? :aq:

Re: A Shameless Practice: Divulging Bedroom Secrets

I know men who talk crap about their wives. Some get drunk and just can't control what they are saying. I don't think most women really mean anything bad when they discuss things with their friends. A lot of them are just either curious about certain things or just want to know more about something that they dont' know. In this case, talking in general rather than going into specifics isn't a problem i think.