In the uk people come to see me, no one calls back
came to pakistan people have seen me no one calls back it makes me feel so awful and depressed about myself
and to make matters worse 2 of cousins found rishtas whislt i was here in pakistan! also i went to see a girl for my cousin with my khala and we were the first people to ever see her and liked her in the first meeting and its all done and dusted…main thing she was beautiful…i cant help it that im not some model!
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
A year is not really that long, and even if you don't look like a model beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is a man out there that will think you are a model!
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
Inspiron, don't get disheartened it's obviously not meant to be yet and your time will also come inshAllah.
P.S, anyone can look attractive when they are neatly groomed, some stylish clothes a bit of make up and some heels, oh and bags of confidence and a smile works wonders!
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
Hey,
I was in a similar situation myself...the main thing you need to have faith in is that whatever is meant for you will not pass you by. Instead of feeling frustrated and helpless, take action. Don't let yourself get angry or depressed about yourself because that will only end up damaging your self esteem...
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
HuzooR - App !
**
oh achchhaa...aji aise naseeb kahaaN hamaare...payaam o salaam to unke beech hotaa hai jinka sitaaraa aafaaq kii balandiyoN par raushan hotaa hai maanind e qutub e shumaali.
vaise, apun ko to ab Thulla hii rahnaa hai...shaadii jee kaa janjaal aur jaan kaa ziyaan hai aur uske ba-juz kuchh nahiiN :)**
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
What can anyone advise here other than...
1) Be patient, have faith in Allah. The right time for someone else may not be the right time for you. You'll get married if and when it's meant to be.
2) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
3) We all have things that we can improve on. If you feel that there is something that could be hindering the process for you....then work on it. And it need not be strictly to land a rishta.....it can also be a part of personal development. For example, if you feel that you need to lose some weight....(hypothetically speaking let's say that it's an area of concern for you).....then it shouldn't be done just to get a rishta....but reasons such as good health and self-esteem are also important, even more so. It's not a bad idea to do some self-reflection on the possible causes that could be holding you back....it could even be something as having unreasonable expectations of what you want in a guy....maybe they need to be lowered or adjusted. ***Also, if you're waiting too long to hear back from a rishta...that's not healthy either. Don't get attached and give yourself a time-frame (a week or so).....where if you don't hear back....you've moving on to better things and people.
4) Also, keep yourself busy in positive activities. Take a class....hang out with friends...pursue a hobby....do some volunteer work, read a book, etc. Even being more social can expose you to people....and that can lead somewhere too.
5) Rishtas can be rejected for a variety of reasons......and you may have rejected some as well. It's all a part of life, just keep on moving. Don't treat every single rishta that you get as a huge deal....and pin all your hopes on it.....as that will affect your attitude and your interactions with others (you might behave in a tense/uptight/needy way, for example). Easier said than done....but be calm and go with the flow. People tend to be attracted to those who exude a positive and confident vibe. Lol, it's not like you're going to WANT to marry every single rishta that comes to your house......and you know that......so don't get so disheartened if they don't call back. How well can you really get to know a guy in that one meeting? Interacting with him for 30 minutes to an hour....is no indication that he would have made a good spouse for you. Even if he seemed attractive in various ways........it's not hard to put your best face forward before company. Would you have wanted to marry someone who wasn't all that into you? You wouldn't. That would be like settling. And you don't want to "settle" for just anyone....just for the sake of getting married or just because of family/societal pressure. If you had invested a considerable amount of emotional energy on the guy (like a relationship or even a crush)...it would make more sense to be so disheartened. But they are mere strangers......you don't know them.....and they're most likely living their life/chilling/having fun......while you're still dwelling on them and why they didn't call back. Don't get so attached to them. They didn't get back to you.........thus your path has been cleared to find someone who is RIGHT for you.
Things don't run according to our time schedules. Allah has a plan for everyone.
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
ok short rant
im in karachi visiting family usualy in the uk.
Been looking for a rishta for the past year.
In the uk people come to see me, no one calls back
came to pakistan people have seen me no one calls back it makes me feel so awful and depressed about myself
and to make matters worse 2 of cousins found rishtas whislt i was here in pakistan! also i went to see a girl for my cousin with my khala and we were the first people to ever see her and liked her in the first meeting and its all done and dusted....main thing she was beautiful.....i cant help it that im not some model!
sigh
hugz Don't worry yaar. InshaAllah Allah wl do what is best for you :) Aameen. I know its easier said than done but i am a girl myself so i can relate to you. My mom's on my case that she wants me to be ready for marriage now but this whole procedure just feels so weird. I have alot of friends who are in similiar situation like yours and i am often comforting them but deep down it def scares me too. Because i have seen how this has shattered self esteem n confidence of my friends. I really pray for myself and every girl and guy out there to find their match in some other way and dont have to go thru this weird rishta process.
I would encourage you to go to weddings/parties you are invited to as often there girls gets rishtas and its easier that way cuz u dnt go thinking somebody is gonna be judging u there so yr confidence level is good. And believe me don't think if these rishtas dont come to any success it means ur nt pretty, its just luck. I have seen some very pretty girls who didnt get married cuz of lack of rishtas where as some very average girls gotten married to actually very goodlooking guys. So i def do believe in luck and just pray to Allah. Have your parents say hajat nafls for you, i just read this at gs that it is suppose to help you with yr life issues and problems.
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
i know eh. it takes some people upto 4 yrs to find a suitabe rishta. my mom just started looking for prospects for me n its been 3-4 mnths n she cudnt find someone suitable enough to proceed with thnx to the fact that EVERY decent,educated family is on the verge of moving out of Pakistan and i want to stay here :(.
Re: a rant-i feel like im never going to get married
inspiron, Here's something... say Surah Al-Kausar 30 times a day regularly for a month (don't miss once u've started!) and don't worry one day you'll be enjoying the fruits of your patience InshAllah!
Abhi ishq / rishta-hunt ke imtehaan aur bhi hain.