^ welcome to the real world, send two words on the people who have tongues outside like a hungry dogs !
Having said that, she have only one option, stand on her feet by herself. As far as spiritual stuff concerned, it will not help you until you took physical steps !
PG, I am a strong advocate of girls being educated enough so they can stand on their feet for reasons other than self confidence and a healthy self image. I've seen so many situations where girls who are completely dependent on their husbands get widowed or divorced and have no one to take care of them financially and end up with relatives or get remarried to someone they don't like. I think all girls in our society must be prepared to take care of themselves even if they choose to stay home after marriage.
So to answer your question, the divorced girl should find a reasonable job and instead of feeling sorry for herself, build herself up and pray for strength and courage. Have a positive outlook and expect the best. Sometimes I think that whatver happens is a learning experience with a message.
if a girl got divorce after just some months of her marriege
what do u suggest to her ,how can she help about herself .... *jis kay hatoon per hina kay abhi bhi madham madham nishaN hain *
n her old parents ... jin kay kandhooN say abhi baitee ki rukhsatee ki thakan bhi nahi utree thee ..
how can she stand on her feets front of cruel tounges of people which r living around her ..
Alhumdulillah as a muslim we belive on Taqdeer /fate..
.but sum times we feel helpless about everything ...and we want some spiritual wodrs from others
this is not a story about one girl ..there is lot of girls around us ...jo apnay daamnooN main aisee kayee kahaninyan chupaaye hoye hain
yes we know
ronay say badaltee nahi taqdeer kabhi bhi
The girl has two choices - be stong or be weak - It's one thing to believe in Taqdeer and fate and but it another to "haath dhoo kar baeth jaana" andnot to take matters in your hand.
The girl can get a job. Help her parents
The more the girl THINKs about "why has this happened" and "what will people say" and " jin kay kandhooN say abhi baitee ki rukhsatee ki thakan bhi nahi utree thee .. " - these are great emotional things but it does't do anything for anyone.
These things are CULTURAL and they are only relevant in ones life IF you THINK like that.
Life and Allah gives people 2nd and 3rd and 4th chances at happiness and love and family and life.
She should count her blassing and start another chapter of her life.
if a girl got divorce after just some months of her marriege
what do u suggest to her ,how can she help about herself .... jis kay hatoon per hina kay abhi bhi madham madham nishaN hain *
n her old parents ... *jin kay kandhooN say abhi baitee ki rukhsatee ki thakan bhi nahi utree thee ..
how can she stand on her feets front of cruel tongues of people which r living around her ..
Alhumdulillah as a muslim we belive on Taqdeer /fate..
.but sum times we feel helpless about everything ...and we want some spiritual wodrs from others
this is not a story about one girl ..there is lot of girls around us ...jo apnay daamnooN main aisee kayee kahaninyan chupaaye hoye hain
ys we know
ronay say badaltee nahi taqdeer kabhi bhi
with this much drama I doubt you could help her!
That is not true. our fate is whay WE do. Divorce is NOT death, There is still life to live
A story of “What Goes Around Comes Around w/a Happy Ending”
I know a girl who was in a similar situation. She’s attractive, intelligent, has a Master’s. She got a proposal from a guy who was very junglee looking guy. When his family came for the rishta they, were a bit pompous saying they were religious as they have lived in the middle east. The girl was in her mid twenties at the time that she got married to this guy. During the days leading up to the wedding, she had told her mother that she didn’t have a good feeling about him based on the way he looked. And her mother said that all that matters is one’s kismat. She was married to him for 3 months. During this time the guy’s sister was creating trouble with her snide comments. And there were days the girl would find strange objects on her bed…like some voodoo mumbo jumbo. Then one day, it was her birthday. Her husband told her she should visit her family on her b-day. And so the girl went to spend time with her family…and on her birthday…the divorce papers were delivered to her house (after only 3 months of marriage).
It turned out that the plan to divorce was “premeditated”. The guy was interested in his cousin, whose family was against the match. Perhaps he felt that a divorce would make their union possible. Well, it didn’t. After the divorce, he did not end up with his cousin. So, his mom found him another girl. This second girl was GORGEOUS…but poor…and not very educated. The guy’s family KNEW these facts about the girl before proposing. However, after the wedding, his family kept HARASSING the girl about her poverty and lack of education. She got so tired of their ill-treatment so she decided to get in contact with the guy’s FIRST WIFE. The first ex-wife told the girl all the abuse that they did to her. And the second wife was SMART. She told her mom everything that she found out about her husband and his family. And with the support of her mom…the second wife DIVORCED HIM
It is said that the guy’s mom is a control freak and that his sister was a nasty piece of work. And the guy’s younger brother would go around defaming girls and spreading lies. And rumor has it that the guy’s dad went crazy and would roam the streets like a mad man. ** So what happened to the GUY? ** Well, he was overcome by guilt shortly after divorcing the first wife. Only to make the mistake again. He would ask how his first wife is doing? But poor him…he lost his first wife…the second wife dumped him…and he never got his cousin. What happened to the first girl? Well, she prayed to Allah for justice and she got it. She also got married again to a guy who treats her like a princess. And she’s only waiting for her paper work to be completed, because she’ll be moving abroad with her husband!
with this much drama I doubt you could help her!
That is not true. our fate is whay WE do. Divorce is NOT death, There is still life to live
Shyt happens!!!
I agree with PM!
Divorce is not death. And marriage is not the be all/end all of life. Look at women whose husbands have died. They don't stop living. Life goes on. InshaAllah you will find a good decent husband soon. But in the mean time, you should focus on yourself.
1) Look for the blessings instead of focusing on the negative. If this marriage was dysfunctional......it's better go get divorced now then lead a life full of misery. Thank God that there are no children involved.
2) Your parents will be more miserable if they see that YOU are also sad. So try your best to act happy and confident. Tell your parents that you need their support in moving past this and looking toward a better future.
3) OUR desi culture is SOOOOOOO obsessed with how other people think. Look, other people don't pay your bills. Other people did not pay for your wedding. Other people will not help find you a rishta. So, these people DON"T MATTER! Their opinion is worth NOTHING! They did not live with you and your husband, so they don't know the true story. They can only gossip because they want drama and have no lives of their own. Their comments are not a reflection of your character. Its only a reflection of their cheap character.
4) Develop yourself as a person. Instead of wasting time crying. Keep yourself busy. Get another degree. Take some classes. Go to the gym. Get a make over. Pursure your interest and career goals. Develop your confidence. That's the best thing you can do for yourself.
5) Pray to Allah to grant you patience and a good husband. And when the time is right, you'll find an amazing guy. Peole (yes even WOMEN) have gotten mariried after being divorced. Life is not over!
Yet another one of your stereotypical comments. I’m single. I’ve never been married or divorced. And I enjoy developing myself as a person. It’s important to me. And there are many young girls within my family that value personal development and have worked on this before marriage and continue to do so after marriage. I also have friends who are the same way.
It simply means that they understand that life is not only about marriage…or spending all your time doing nothing except waiting for Prince “Charming”. So they concentrate on other aspects of their lives as well.
I was being sarcastic - I wonder if red will be as samagdaar after she gets married or she’ll be like “listen buster! I told you come home at 5 - and I meant 5”
