A question for Guppans

[sac]

Re: A question for Guppans

I’ll stay at home and rest, meri wife sab kam karay gi

[arshad5]

Re: A question for Guppans

@AnGeL EyEs

being a housewife means staying at home to tend to your husband and the home....you dont have to have children to be a housewife. Being a stay at home mom means you are at home to tend to your kids (family), and the home.

raising my children and making sure they have a good upbringing is very important to me... which is why i want to be at home with them while they are young. when they become of school age....id like to go back to work or even better.....work from home. But keep in mind this is a personal opinion....not everyone thinks that a mom has to stay at home to raise the kids properly.

I don't make the distinction between a housewife and a stay at home mum. I expect housewifes to have children, although they can work before getting married or having kids.

Its good that you want to put your children first before your job. It is only reasonable to get a job after they start school, otherwise one gets bored. Flexi work is becoming increasingly common and I have met one or two solicitors that work from home and only go to office once a week.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Amani06

Angel Eyes ur right. Ive got friends who had post natal depression and it was actually healthier for them to go back to work and put their child in childcare and they actually hav a better relationship with their child as a result rather than them staying at home and resenting their child. Its something asian ppl dont understand and just think mums r making it up to get attention. Ppl always forget motherhood even tho its an amazing experience, it doesnt suit every1.:halo:

true…i have a couple friends who have just recently had a baby and decided to go back to work 3-4 months later. They feel more adequate as a mother and wife when they are working. They also feel its better for their family.

I know myself…i worry about the safety and health of my nieces and nephews as it is…i cant imagine how i would be with my own kids. I know for a fact that if i work while my kid is in childcare or with a babysitter…i wont perform well at the job. With my career I’ll have to put in all or nothing.

besides…no one can take care of a child better then the mom (pending that she is sane) and/or grandma in some instances.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: A question for Guppans

@arshad5

I don’t make the distinction between a housewife and a stay at home mum. I expect housewifes to have children, although they can work before getting married or having kids.

Its good that you want to put your children first before your job. It is only reasonable to get a job after they start school, otherwise one gets bored. Flexi work is becoming increasingly common and I have met one or two solicitors that work from home and only go to office once a week.

i see…but there is a difference in my opinion. I much rather be called a stay at home mom

[arshad5]

Re: A question for Guppans

@AnGeL EyEs

i see…but there is a difference in my opinion. I much rather be called a stay at home mom

What you call yourself when you stay at home is only academic.

[fghd]

Re: A question for Guppans

arshad should I move this thread to Life 1... you will get more experienced response :-)

[rapunzle]

Re: A question for Guppans

@arshad5

How many of you would like work after marriage?

How many of you would like to be a housewife after marriage?

How many of you would be housewife or work depending on the preference of the husband?

Well i wud luv to work after marriage on one condition that i m able to manage my family properly n they r not atall neglected
if i can manage i wud

[arshad5]

Re: A question for Guppans

Whatever you like...your the mod. I am off the internet now, until tomorrow.

[Puchi_Kuchi]

Re: A question for Guppans

Nah, I wouldn't work for anyone

I'm currently in the process of setting up my own business so I'll be able to work for myself and from the comfort of my own home InshALLAH

Luxury life

Hate working for others

[UZ]

Re: A question for Guppans

@arshad5

Nowbody dies of hunger here. Everybody has a comfortable life. You will never be satisfied with the amount of money that you have until you leave this world. You could always do with some more.

i fully agree with this one. Pasia to jab zaroorat parti hai kam par jata hai and hawas kabhi khatam nahi hoti

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: A question for Guppans

Work is work, whether you work at home or outside. The main purpose of it is to run a house hold, either before of after marriage.

Some modern women have confused work with oppression, like if you stay at home, you are oppressing yourself. Thing is before and after married life is very different, same women who go to school and work part-time have difficulty adjusting to married life. This is because before that they had their mom, sis or maid who would clean, cook and wash clothes for them. After marriage, it all comes down on them. Priorities change...

There are others who just want to work and regardless of having babies do not stop. There are women who would go to work even when they are pregnant, some do it for financial reason, but most of them like to work and they probably will be doing some kind of work even after they retire from their profession. It depends on personality, some women continue to work and still find a way to manage household with kids, but most of them after having kids choose otherwise.

If you ask a man why you work. He will tell you 10 out of 10 times that he has to, so why it should be different for women?

[Sara516]

Re: A question for Guppans

Some women don't have the luxury of choice, ever thought of that?

[sweefs]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Evilmastermind

work is not always related to making money. Gaining more xperience in one's field is imp otherwise whats the point of studyin this much then :-s

yep......working isnt always abt money....it might b to gain knowledge of ur interest or mayb to fulfil a wish of someone's :)

[Khumar]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Man with a Plan

Work is work, whether you work at home or outside. The main purpose of it is to run a house hold, either before of after marriage.

Some modern women have confused work with oppression, like if you stay at home, you are oppressing yourself. Thing is before and after married life is very different, same women who go to school and work part-time have difficulty adjusting to married life. This is because before that they had their mom, sis or maid who would clean, cook and wash clothes for them. After marriage, it all comes down on them. Priorities change...

There are others who just want to work and regardless of having babies do not stop. There are women who would go to work even when they are pregnant, some do it for financial reason, but most of them like to work and they probably will be doing some kind of work even after they retire from their profession. It depends on personality, some women continue to work and still find a way to manage household with kids, but most of them after having kids choose otherwise.

If you ask a man why you work. He will tell you 10 out of 10 times that he has to, so why it should be different for women?

it is oppression when someone spends a lot of money and years achieving good marks and eventually a great degree, and it is an unsaid agreement between the in-laws and the husband that the wife should stay at home, regardless of whether she aspired to work or not. this way the education is just a selling point for the woman, not something that makes her herself.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Khumar

it is oppression when someone spends a lot of money and years achieving good marks and eventually a great degree, and it is an unsaid agreement between the in-laws and the husband that the wife should stay at home, regardless of whether she aspired to work or not. this way the education is just a selling point for the woman, not something that makes her herself.

:k: ^

no one should tell a woman that she has to stay home or work for that matter. it is something that should be discussed b/w the husband and wife…however the woman should have the final say.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Khumar

it is oppression when someone spends a lot of money and years achieving good marks and eventually a great degree, and it is an unsaid agreement between the in-laws and the husband that the wife should stay at home, regardless of whether she aspired to work or not. this way the education is just a selling point for the woman, not something that makes her herself.

How is it any different than a guy who basically has to work whether he likes it or not? Lets not confused work with choice, majority of them have to work. There are some who would work despite obstacles…

Unsaid aggrements…??? Care to elaborate?

[Khumar]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Man with a Plan

How is it any different than a guy who basically has to work whether he likes it or not? Lets not confused work with choice, majority of them have to work. There are some who would work despite obstacles....

Unsaid aggrements....??? Care to elaborate?

one sends the guy kid to school, knowing full well that he has to eventually get a good job. one sends the girl to school knowing full well that either she stays at home, learn the household skills, or go to school, do a time pass there, and so when she gets a masters or becomes a doctor or what ever, she will get a good rishta. isn't that oppression and just plain cruel?

unsaid agreement in that the girl is a lawyer. she has her LLB, she gets married, and no one in her inlaws or her husband says that you should probably go get a job and use that degree for some good use. her husband tells her, or does not tell her that she can't work. instead, she knows that once she gets married she will have a kid in 9 or 10 months, and all she will do is take care of the kids, and accompany her husband to office parties.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Khumar

one sends the guy kid to school, knowing full well that he has to eventually get a good job. one sends the girl to school knowing full well that either she stays at home, learn the household skills, or go to school, do a time pass there, and so when she gets a masters or becomes a doctor or what ever, she will get a good rishta. isn’t that oppression and just plain cruel?

O come on Khumar, most of these girls get the degree just to show off on their rishta folio. Beside, education is important regardless whatever you do, stay at home or not.

unsaid agreement in that the girl is a lawyer. she has her LLB, she gets married, and no one in her inlaws or her husband says that you should probably go get a job and use that degree for some good use. her husband tells her, or does not tell her that she can’t work. instead, she knows that once she gets married she will have a kid in 9 or 10 months, and all she will do is take care of the kids, and accompany her husband to office parties.

Again, after marriage, priorites changes. Ask any married women, she will tell you everthing about it. I come from a family where my mom worked for over 25 years in teaching. Regardless of money, kids, Pakistan or overseas…she managed to work because she wanted to. She is very conservative, wears abaya, prays five times, but she still managed to have a career…she could have just stayed home and feed her kids and have a similar life but because she wanted to that is why she worked. Its about will…said and unsaid agreements are bunch of girly exuses that modern girl gets from feminism and nothing. In real world, whatever the gender, you have to work for what you want. So, stop making exuses and accept the fact, work has nothing to do with choice, after marriage priorites change and it depends on your personality whether you want to work or not. If one wants to, he/she will find a way to…otherwise, they are not that motivated enough to work.

[fghd]

Re: A question for Guppans

@Man with a Plan

O come on Khumar, most of these girls get the degree just to show off on their rishta folio.

I strongly disagree

Again, after marriage, priorites changes. Ask any married women, she will tell you everthing about it. I come from a family where my mom worked for over 25 years in teaching. Regardless of money, kids, Pakistan or overseas…she managed to work because she wanted to. She is very conservative, wears abaya, prays five times, but she still managed to have a career…she could have just stayed home and feed her kids and have a similar life but because she wanted to that is why she worked. Its about will…said and unsaid agreements are bunch of girly exuses that modern girl gets from feminism and nothing. In real world, whatever the gender, you have to work for what you want. So, stop making exuses and accept the fact, work has nothing to do with choice, after marriage priorites change and it depends on your personality whether you want to work or not. If one wants to, he/she will find a way to…otherwise, they are not that motivated enough to work.

said it all:k:

[Khumar]

Re: A question for Guppans

[QUOTE]
O come on Khumar, most of these girls get the degree just to show off on their rishta folio. Beside, education is important regardless whatever you do, stay at home or not.
[/QUOTE]

i don't disagree with that. i think that is exactly what i said in my last post. just in different words. but it's the same for guys as well. a guy who has been taught at aitchison would be a better catch than a guy who has been taught at a local muhalla ka school.

[QUOTE]
Again, after marriage, priorites changes. Ask any married women, she will tell you everthing about it. I come from a family where my mom worked for over 25 years in teaching. Regardless of money, kids, Pakistan or overseas...she managed to work because she wanted to. She is very conservative, wears abaya, prays five times, but she still managed to have a career...she could have just stayed home and feed her kids and have a similar life but because she wanted to that is why she worked. Its about will...said and unsaid agreements are bunch of girly exuses that modern girl gets from feminism and nothing. In real world, whatever the gender, you have to work for what you want. So, stop making exuses and accept the fact, work has nothing to do with choice, after marriage priorites change and it depends on your personality whether you want to work or not. If one wants to, he/she will find a way to...otherwise, they are not that motivated enough to work.
[/QUOTE]

i'm making a sweeping generalization, but mostly from what i've seen. my mom worked for many years, both before and after marriage (she still is), but generally i've seen doctors sitting at home raising kids. BEd holders making salan in the kitchen, etc etc. I'm not saying some don't opt to do that, and prefer to stay at home, but many a times it's not like they have a choice.