not sure why this has turned into a men vs women thread, or the insensitivity surrounding this topic. to be honest, this is more of a universal issue than just pakistanis.
it depends. some parts of the world have progressed whilst others havent. i know of pakistani families who have settled here for around forty years and their mentality regarding girls and boys is appalling. people you know are not representative of people as a whole. having said that, i have seen both.. progressive families and those that are stuck in the past. so yes, maybe the blog sounds extreme but it is not far from the truth for some.
what’s your point? did it ever occur to you that perhaps her failing her grades, and cutting herself and getting bullied could all be linked? that perhaps she was going through a tough time which affected and resulted in her becoming the way she did?
Double standards exist in the west too. I can tell you that I faced a boy’s club where I worked previously. It was pretty bad, and it got defended by the administration too, sadly.
That’s not our only reaction. It’s our reaction for things that are storms in teacups.
But Reha a lot of issues that you claim are big issues are infact childish petty things.
I’ve met smart, intelligent and powerful women. You should see them handle issues. Nothing ever catches them off guard.
A percentage of the women on here are not smart, intelligent, or powerful.
Just take a look at life1. And for a more insightful example, your own responses. You’ve failed to (ever) present any sort of profound argument. It’s always “men don’t understand”.
I’m glad that the examples you use to counter me are little girls in their teen.
Now pay attention cuz you clearly werent the first time.
Look at how many times I say ‘some women’. Look at how many times you say ‘some men’, or something similar. It’s pretty darn obvious my post wasnt directed at all women. Certainly not teenager girls. Please dont use them as a shield.
Look at how many times I said WOMEN. Not a girl of 8 years old. Not a girl of 15 years old. As for the woman who gave up her career, you’re not asking a problem. Shes a wife who now stays home to take care of her kids. You’re asking for a solution. I’m asking whats the problem in this scenario? LOL see. there you go. You found a problem where there is none. Woman.
Please do not insinuate that I group the problem of little girls with grown women. I find that insulting. If you continue to do so I will have to respond very harshly as I am requesting you now to not continue. The fact that you grouped them together tells me a lot about you.
Again, nowhere am I downplaying the importance of issues affecting women, no. I’m specifically replying to the posts you and Reha made. Everyone has problems. Not everything is black and white.
Also, men vs women, I’m glad you arent arguing the post about you.
Again, please read carefully. I really dont like repeating myself and I find I do that a lot on gs because people dont read properly and just extract whatever far fetched meaning they please.
About number 1 and 3. A woman is not born a woman, before she becomes a woman, she was a girl, before that she was a teenager, and before that she was a child. Same is said for a man. It is our experiences from childhood to adulthood that create who we become later in life. Like I said just because you encountered many drama queens doesn’t mean all women are.
about number 2. there is your assumption again. you are wrong.. How about women who work full time and pay all the bills still have inlaws live with them. inlaws who think their son does it all and the wife is expected to say nothing! If she does, she is a horrible horrible person.
Lmao, at the random tangent the discussion has gone off to.
The girl in the blog has issues that are all linked together. It all begins with telling someone they are deficient and you can see the train wreck it becomes. Killing someone’s self esteem is best way to destroy them.
Like my parents have been told while I was there that they were very sorry to hear that they had only one daughter. It was really creepy to hear but what if I had to hear that everyday?
And one of my best friends used to get a 100 rupees from her daadi on Eid while her brother got a 1000. Like this kind of nonsense was for what in this day and age? She still makes more than her parents, brother, uncles combined so what her made her deficient? Because her parents apologised to her every time she understood her daadi was the wrong one. Without her parents support who knows what might have happened.
If you really had any sort of insight…you would not use this funny little like at the end. I don’t always say that at all…lol
What I don’t like nor appreciate is how a female issue is made petty by your standards that aren’t even real standards. They’re guesses, assumptions and shots in the dark.
And to be honest with you…right now…this discussion seems stupid because we will go in circles and you will still end up with “so what if a woman was sexually abused…tell her to stop crying and being a drama queen”
Which is why…I say…at the end of the day…some men just don’t get it. They don’t have it in them and in order to understand…it has to be a near and dear one that goes through something traumatic. They have to witness an ordeal…they cannot respect it until they see it with their own eyes.
I agree. What has happened in a person’s life shapes them. I mean, what else would right?
However, that doesnt mean we need to be oblivious to our own faults.
Our experiences in the past are absolutely no excuse to behave how we do now. No matter how bad things are for a person, there is someone who has it worse. And yet the planet keeps on spinning. Nothing stops. Do you know what that means? Moving on is a very important part of life. Yes some people need help to get there; we all do at some point.
We shouldn’t excuse ourselves for the way we’ve turned out because of our experiences. We’ve been given an education so we can tell the difference. So we can look back at ourselves and say, wait, how I am is absolutely unacceptable and I need to change it. You shouldnt be a big person for being able to do that.
A woman who works full time(and her hubby too), pays all the bills, has in laws with her and is expected to say nothing doesnt exist. Going by what I’ve heard on here, the majority, if not all of the money earned by the woman is kept by the woman. She doesnt contribute BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONE TIME SHE DOESNT FORGET HER ISLAMIC ENTITLEMENTS. Women are not forced by Islam, and it seems like thats enough for you gals to pocket your money.
For situations where the above mentioned DOES occur, it really depends on her situation. What you have said there (I’ve highlighted it for you to be specific), isnt how black and white it always is.
What man wont say that a woman who works full time, pays all the bills, takes care of the house and is still mistreated, is nothing short of a warrior goddess. But that’s not always how simple it is. I’m not gonna make a judgement after being presented SUCH a narrow view.
it was meant to create a certain kind of reaction. With an emotional touch.
Many Girls/women unfortunately do have a lot of social problems just like men and not only in Pakistan but outside Pakistan.
its just that the set of problems maybe different based on many variables not just based on differences of sexes.
The title: " A Pakistani Girl" is essentially a generalized statement.
its like saying " An American Girl" " A British Boy" and writing something unusual (read carefully please I said “unusual”) story to use it as a showcase. Hope this point is clear somewhat.
if it was written as " One Pakistani Girl" then it would have somewhat of less generalized but then it would not only look too realistic and… it would have lost the intended reaction altogether.
Now the blog writer would have been fine if he/she had written " Story of A Girl". A specific girl.
And the message would have been less dramatic but still effective.
If you accidentally burn your hand, would you touch fire again? Our experiences shape us hence, those who got burned enough times will try to protect getting burnt again. It is as simple as that!
has it ever occurred to you that such women do exist but they are too smart to share their issues online? Just because you haven’t heard of them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Perhaps they are some of smart, intelligent, powerful women (that you speak of) who simply don’t post here?
so if I tell you a scenario and you come back saying, “well, it just can’t be true. Sorry, try again!” If you think like that then yes, these “warrior goddesses” don’t exist,
See how it feels when people misunderstand you and twist your words? Now you know how we feel. You got mad real fast. Look at us we have dealt with it most of our lives.
This thread is making my acid reflux worse.. I am out. Peace!
I am not making all guys look like they’re pro-abuse. But your posts look like you do believe abuse is imagined and all in a woman’s head. That’s why you have women getting pissed off and responding.
First stanza: I agree with you. Dont know what point youre arguing there.
You are correct. These women do exist.
I meant women specifically in that situation and thats their situation black and white and we can make a judgement.
Theorist I just wanna clarify something. It seems like you arent grasping what I’m trying to say or I’m doing a poor job of conveying it.
Either way, my first post in this thread was aimed at showing you that YOU were the first person who made the distinction of the two sides guys and girls. And then you accused someone else of doing that.
I had to point out the hypocrisy.
My post to reha, which you replied to, was specifically to reha’s strikingly retarded comment that men don’t understand the problems of women.
My entire argument is men do understand the problem of women and any sensible man would ensure no harm comes to any woman, or any person for that matter. The problems that we dont choose not to understand are specifically the stupid problems you women have. Especially gross overreactions and making stupid statements, like Reha.
The thing is we all have troubles and are fighting a war that no one else sees. However, some wars are completely rubbish and there are the less rubbish wars, and then the ones that leave wounds from which we never heal. I am talking specifically about the completely rubbish wars.
So please don’t include things like abuse, unfair treatment, denial of rights, etc, in the “completely rubbish” category.
Nice. A great example of taking whatever meaning from a post you want.
I only make fun of trials of people like you. Children who never grew up. Little problems that are exhausting for everyone to hear and just dead set stupid to begin with.
But I guess your problems are only as big your mind.
