We have discussed future location and agreed to it actually!
We have kind of had these discussions already. In laws/living/location/career/ etc its all been discussed!
Already? thats good.
A friend of mine (and my SOs actually) advised me that you shouldn't hold people to what they say when you get married because no matter how many promises you make circumstances may change things.
So make sure to be flexible and open minded :)
People change and sometimes its a good thing
A friend of mine (and my SOs actually) advised me that you shouldn't hold people to what they say when you get married because no matter how many promises you make circumstances may change things.
So make sure to be flexible and open minded :)
People change and sometimes its a good thing
That's true, even for ones self. You might plan things in your life for yourself but circumstances may not allow for them. Any one who doesn't realise that will also happen in marriage is foolish.
That's true, even for ones self. You might plan things in your life for yourself but circumstances may not allow for them. Any one who doesn't realise that will also happen in marriage is foolish.
Yup!
I always found it odd when my friends were surprised that I was in a LD relationship but you have to be strong and for some it may be easy and all happy but for others there may be difficulties and fights but if you two want this badly enough you will both be able to work it out.
Of course life changes and things change and one cannot predict the future, but atleast we have discussed our wants and wishes and practical issues and aims and goals and values.
Of course life changes and things change and one cannot predict the future, but atleast we have discussed our wants and wishes and practical issues and aims and goals and values.
I just hope it works on a day to day basis now.
you should listen to Reha.
don't over think it. I know I didn't 2years ago (my anniversary today). I didn't even think it would last but we're still together and much in love
Inspiron, only you know your situation. The "mature" posters have not advised you against it. People are speaking from experience and want you to keep your eyes wide open so you are prepared for the possible challenges ahead.
My understanding is that you will be starting your residency soon and I hope you are able to cope with the pressure of work/school, plus a LDR if that is what you want to do. Also, if this is the route you want to take, just remember that you cannot practice medicine here in Ontario. Pleae do look into that if being in the medical field as a doctor is important to you.
Girl: "I'lll do this"
Boy:"And I'll do this, agreed?"
Girl: "Agreed"
Or like this ...
Girl: "Tell me what to do and I'll do it"
Boy: "I tell you to tell me what to do and I'll do it"
Girl: "oh darling"
Boy: "oh my love"
In reality it is somewhere in between these two ... But it is good to know the extremes ... The selfish agreement versus the total mutual doormats.
its not like either of them. I am not going to put my discussions with him up here. What I do know is we have had long discussions and we are both happy with the outcome.
Of course life changes and things change and one cannot predict the future, but atleast we have discussed our wants and wishes and practical issues and aims and goals and values.
I just hope it works on a day to day basis now.
You know what to do :) You already did it without the help of GS. Stop worrying!
As for the day to day stuff, from our experience, we made sure to make time for each other daily so we were a priority in one anothers lives. I think it's important for you both to feel that the other person takes you and the relationship seriously. One of the reason's ldr's fail is because lack of trust, when you don't know what the other person is doing, when they don't make time for you etc etc.
its not like either of them. I am not going to put my discussions with him up here. What I do know is we have had long discussions and we are both happy with the outcome.
Inspiron, only you know your situation. The "mature" posters have not advised you against it. People are speaking from experience and want you to keep your eyes wide open so you are prepared for the possible challenges ahead.
My understanding is that you will be starting your residency soon and I hope you are able to cope with the pressure of work/school, plus a LDR if that is what you want to do. Also, if this is the route you want to take, just remember that you cannot practice medicine here in Ontario. Pleae do look into that if being in the medical field as a doctor is important to you.
I hope things work out the way you want them to.
we've looked into all the career stuff and balancing his and mine and what we want/need we have worked it out so no worries there either so far!
I think stoppit and kakee's posts are helpful. Like Reha said, just relax and enjoy yourself, it seems like you guys are agreed on the future (at least generally).
If anyone watched Entourage, just don't be in a relationship like Drama's lol.
A friend of mine (and my SOs actually) advised me that you shouldn't hold people to what they say when you get married because no matter how many promises you make circumstances may change things.
So make sure to be flexible and open minded :)
People change and sometimes its a good thing
Again isn't that true of every relationship and not only long distance ones? In my opinion the only thing different in long distance relationships is one has to move and that is definitely very tough. You will be away from family, need to restart your career and make new friends. But if there is mutual understanding and respect from both sides, these issues can definitely be worked out.
Inspiron, only you know your situation. The "mature" posters have not advised you against it. People are speaking from experience and want you to keep your eyes wide open so you are prepared for the possible challenges ahead.
My understanding is that you will be starting your residency soon and I hope you are able to cope with the pressure of work/school, plus a LDR if that is what you want to do. Also, if this is the route you want to take, just remember that you cannot practice medicine here in Ontario. Pleae do look into that if being in the medical field as a doctor is important to you.
I hope things work out the way you want them to.
Mehnaz, I'm not saying you were referring this to what I posted but just incase you are; I did not say the "mature" posters are advising against it. I simply stated that they aren't offering advice. It seems like they are showing all the pros for her to back out but (at the time) little to no information was being given to her that would help her in keeping it alive.
Again isn't that true of every relationship and not only long distance ones? In my opinion the only thing different in long distance relationships is one has to move and that is definitely very tough. You will be away from family, need to restart your career and make new friends. But if there is mutual understanding and respect from both sides, these issues can definitely be worked out.
Good luck!
As I said what may be difficult for some may not be difficult for others. She (the OP) has a tendency to worry too much which stresses her out and even though its still early stages they are discussing these things.
Expecting too much is not a good idea and yes this goes for every relationship but especially in LDRs because you two are living two separate lives and you wouldn't know or understand the person really in LDRs
Till I skyped with my SO and his friends I only had one view of him after it I was shocked because he changed completely around his friends and I learned many new things about him because of that. In an LDR your perspective is very limited so may be later in the relationship (6+ months) become friends with his friends and talk together?
Mehnaz, I'm not saying you were referring this to what I posted but just incase you are; I did not say the "mature" posters are advising against it. I simply stated that they aren't offering advice. It seems like they are showing all the pros for her to back out but (at the time) little to no information was being given to her that would help her in keeping it alive.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVEEEEEEEEE
and patience, trust, money, same morals/religion/values and respect
perhaps the "mature" posters are communicating with inspi in a different way?
perhaps the "mature" posters have met with her personally during the time that she has been in Canada and have spent hours discussing her expectations, hopes and desires.....
perhaps there is more to this than you can see.
and save for the suggestion that "stoppit's advice is the best you're gonna get here" (with which I happen to agree at this point), I didn't see you offer any wisdom or guidance.....unless of course you're communicating with inspiron on PM as well.
Perhaps Muzna, you underestimate how many hours I have spent with her discussing this.
I won't say more than this. Clearly I have touched a nerve. But maybe if you consider yourself so close to her instead of giving her reasons to not go through with this, why not give her reasons to proceed with it and help her out with your wisdom. If you consider yourself so close to her, surely you would know how much she wants this.