Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
Backing out and walking away is an option despite having a timeline .... that is the reality of dating.
One piece of advice is this - do not rely on text messaging/e-mails to communicate. It is vital you communicate face to face because texting/e-mailing can lead to miscommunication. Skype when you aren't physically together.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
We have decided on a time line its not years or anything, im just not being very open here and being quite vague as its all new.
We are not commited to each other as you are right only nikkah is true commitment to eachother
We are committed to making it work.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
what does "committed to making it work" mean?
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
We have decided on a time line its not years or anything, im just not being very open here and being quite vague as its all new.
We are not commited to each other as you are right only nikkah is true commitment to eachother
We are committed to making it work.
Making it work only means to take it to next level. You can not keep discovering each other for unlimited period. Well you actually can, but you should not.
Its a bit confusing that on once side you as saying that "we have decided on the timeline" on other side you are saying "We are not committed to each other" .....
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
Ok. It is not committed relation, but in actual fact you both are committed to work on it. I personally suggest that you both should agree on definite timeline where you can decide your next stage in relationship (either engagement/nikkah or move on). As many poster stressed on non-emotional relationship, I dont think it is that easy as it was spoken by them. It looks to me that you are partially attached to him and now just want to confirm that if he is right guy for you. Anyways, it is nice idea to meet face to face one more time and introduce to each other family but before that you have to discuss few important things (family background, future country, career, culture, future/current financial situation). I believe it is not infatuation but real feelings for each other.
That’s great!!! Especially if it’s communicated between you two.
It’s not just a “time pass” type of situation. 
You both know what you want and expect. Working together to get to your goal is what you BOTH need.
Just keep in mind that staying committed to making it work is a two way street.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
As the "timelines" for engagement/nikah/marriage discussion is going under, also try to make plans when you will be seeing each other again. You have gotten to spend 2-3 weeks with him which is great, but since this is a new relationship, skype/phone is not going to cut it for too long. You will have to make plans to see each other whenever you can, this means any long weekends, or holidays coming up, you have to take advantage of it. The "distance" thing can really create a real hurdle/strangeness if you don't see each other, say even for 2-3 months.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
^ like i said....you need to see each other at least once a month....
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
So if you cant meet once a month its not worth even trying?
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
meeting once in a month is kind of expensive. face to face meeting in three month. many guppans do use skype and video chat etc. just sayin.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
its not even possible with work etc, i know I cant a week off once a month. Once every 3 months yes that I can do.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
How much is he willing to fly out to see you? If you come every 3 months, he should be coming in between to see you, no?
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
I meant either he comes or I go. Because I can't get that much time off. I havent started working yet but I think we get 14 days every rotation. Each rotation is 3 months.
So he is happy to come here too but i of course need to take time off as I am living at home.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
So if you cant meet once a month its not worth even trying?
I think any sort of arrangment can work if the people involved in want it to work. LDRs are not that difficult anymore with FaceTime, Skype and what not.
Bottom line is if you both are equally interested in this to work, it can work!
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
Take turns.
With long distance, you have to plan way ahead and stay on top of what is next in 2-3 months, schedules, ticket pricing etc..If you are going to see him say in 2 months, you should be discussing it already. The prices go down in September...so he could come see you easily in September.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
This is not an online thing.
I actually met the person and got to know them pretty well i saw him everyday I was in canada, I started liking him but didnt say anything then on the day I left he expressed his feelings for me, he knows my background very well and my past and I know his past.
He saw me in the morning without makeup and dressed up for the shaadi.
We are committed and want to make this work.
The long distance bit is the hard bit though. Thats what I want advice on.
I feel uncofortable opening up on here for some reason as its early days and I REALLY want this to work, like badly.
(paheli will reply shortly :) )
haha how many is that now? seems like every month or two you are interested in some guy. Just like in the past, this one won't work out either.
just my personal opinion after reading just few of your past posts.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
I didn't read all the replies but I only saw my husband once a year until we were married (4.5 years) and then still apart for over a year!
The initial meeting situation was similar but we decided pretty soon that we were both looking towards marriage so handled the ldr that way.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
Well I know what people are saying but it's all about trust. Trust can be broken but you can't live your life worrying about that.
We made a 'commitment' in that we explicitly agreed that the point of us being in a relationship was for marriage. We were ready for a nikkah but his parents weren't.
That might be a bit full on for your situation but just be honest and clear and expect the same in return. I think you will know deep down if things are heading in a positive direction.
Re: A new Long Distance Relationship...
After reading a few replies, its pretty obvious a lot of people here are quite against long distance relationships, whether it be from their own experience or something they have witnessed.
It's quite sad to see even the "mature" people on this forum find it difficult in certain situations to keep an open mind and try help the OP.
Yes long distance relationships are difficult but not impossible. Yet so many are telling her it can't be done? Shes obviously really invested in making this work so instead of telling how it wont work why not tell her ways she can try and get the best out of it given her circumstances?
Inspiron. I won't tell you this is hard. Alot of people here have made that abundantly clear. But it most definetly can be done and has been done. And I'm not talking about the very rare case, it happens more often than people here would like to think (or like to believe?). I think with long distance relationships, stoppits advice is as good as you're gonna get on this forum.
Oh my goodness… what a horrible thing to say. If she’s had previous relationships or not, or if they worked out or not, has nothing to do with what Inspi was asking.
And did it ever occur to you that maybe things didnt work out in the past for reasons that she couldn’t control?
She’s asking how SHE can (hopefully) keep this relationship afloat.
Negative people… 