a messed up theory abt marriage

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

pfffffffffffffffffahahahahahahahah straight up gold :hehe:
I soo enjoyed this reply :smiley:

42

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

Sure they're okay with it.
That's my point.
Loving someone is not about them loving you back. It's about loving someone. Plain and simple.

These are a few of the characteristics that I assign to true love.....

  • It's unconditional. They can love you back, they can hate you, they can be indifferent. You still love them.

  • There are no expectations. You are never disappointed by anything they do or say. You just accept them for who they are and love them for being them.

  • You don't need to be "with" them, yet you are never "without" them. There is no physical aspect to my definition of love.

  • Just knowing that you feel this way about someone gives you strength. Being able to love someone unconditionally makes you happy inside.

2 Likes
43

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

well said...i agree.

For some people...just loving another person is enough to make them happy. Nothing else matters.

44

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

there is no theory sheory about marriage. marriages are made in heaven.

45

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

its the days AFTER marriage which are made in hell.

46

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

That all may be true but thats the last situation you want in a marriage honestly. I can see how devastating it would be to be married with someone u love to bits but who doesn't love you back. Its gotta be a two-sided affair when it comes to a marriage.

47

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

exactly! nicely put :). This is reality. I think it is the actions that lead up to something called "love". The actions being: the respect you give to the person(respect is the foundation) and then certain sacrifices you make for them and doing things just to make them happy.:):)

48

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

I didn't mean to suggest that this is how a marriage should be.
That's a whole different scenario.

49

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

i don't see how that's healthy... i am, of course, referring to romantic love here. for you to love someone from a distance, while they either hate you or are indifferent to you is maybe something you didn't ask for but to persist in it knowing its going nowhere, is self-destructive, and even a little bit obsessive. if its not going to lead anywhere, you'll spend your life yearning for someone else, instead of living it. its not a very happy-making scenario at all.

50

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

[quote=Mamaof3;4990413
I knew this one gal who was like that. She was so turned off by her hubby that she refused to consummate the marriage for 9 or 10 months!! She refused to do his laundry (his underwear and socks) cause it was “too gross”. Then once he put her thru dental school she divorced him.[/quote]

Good grief how awful! What is the world coming to with divs like that in the world. :bummer:

51

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

Yes yessh

Best wedding you've ever been to?
52

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

somegroovychic

so then the question arises, does one stop having feelings for someone just because they are out of reach, or they are not here anymore?

I dont know if there is a right answer to this question. I am just asking the question

lets say u really liked someone and they get hit by a bus, do the feelings die because the person died?

53

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

^ yes, one should .. if now he is committed to someone else in his life ...if not, you are then playing with your partner's emotions. how fair is it??
live in your one sided love as long as you want if you are all alone.

54

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

I had forgotten about this thread. :lmao:

55

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

Impulse,

it gets better, my dear.
some one tells, in full consciousness, that he does care and that he wants to be with you, marry you, & then something goes wrong in his heart and brain.
one may close one's eyes and ears, but it will never leave the person. he knows that too but is weak and coward and cannot even put his heart and mind together.
true love is like an infant - if you will suffocate it, it will weep more and cry more.

still, the arranged ness of marriages will suit the deranged minds of people whose selfishness puts their young adult daughters or sons, into a life long sadness of marrying someone other than who they wanted to marry.
& that is their action of which there will be due consequences.
no one can bring out the real love in the spirits of someone who is benumbed by the suspicion created in the hearts and minds and eyes.
may time make such people realize what they did to themselves and others who they rebuked and betrayed, in the name of Allah and false judgments of their stakes holders. amen.
dushwari

56

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

no, no, of course not. if someone passes on, then for sure you still love them always, you just love them differently i think. you let yourself move on and heal and eventually, find new love. thats fine. thats human.

but if the other person is alive and incapable of loving you because of, say, already being married to another person, or not knowing or caring about you, etc., then you are fooling yourself and deluding yourself. i don't want to be anyone's "second best" anytime... if you don't love me back the way i love you and don't want to be with me, then bugger off.

i think its ok to love someone from a distance so long as you realise its from a distance and it ain't going nowhere and at some point, you have to move on and find someone who does love you. this is, of course, easier said than done.

57

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

i guess that's like the sensible advice someone would give, but this,

is not possible if your emotion is genuine. ofcourse you'd like them to bugger off if its not.

i think it's called selfless love. and more often than not, it's a source of contentment.

58

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

i just don't see how loving someone from afar can be a source of contentment? romantically speaking, that is.
i feel like when i was in that situation, it came down to two things for me- either go up and let him know how i felt and deal with it from there on, or walk away and hurt and then eventually get over it but always have regrets. i did the former. one of the hardest convos i've ever had to have, but hey, i'm marrying the guy in 3 months IA so it worked out well! :D

59

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

awww do u know jus HOW lucky u r that it wrked out 4 u
regreting stuff hurts like a b!tch

60

Re: a messed up theory abt marriage

This is a little off topic, but wanted to add a picture from a bbq i had last weekend at the hizzie: