The bond that you share with your parents can't be compared to the relationship one shares with their in-laws. By making the above weak argument, you have failed to take into account the frequency, intensity, and content of those verbal jabs.
Since when I am comparing the two relationships? Either way, they both should be respected in the same regard.
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One might experience occasional light-hearted or sarcastic verbal jabs from parents and friends........but there are many women who experience such negative behavior CONSISTENTLY and FREQUENTLY.........and that's when you have a problem.....FREQUENT abuse is a an issue. There's a limit to everything..........even verbal jabs/disrespect. And verbal abuse is WRONG.....no matter if it is done by parents/friends or in-laws. Our religion does not condone it. One shouldn't dismiss or justify verbal abuse by saying that "So? Parents and friends do it too. Yeah man, everybody does it. All the kids are doing it. What's the big deal? It's no big deal." ** Bottom line: **What is wrong is WRONG!
And nobody is denying that relationships involve maturity and patience. They do! But it needs to be RECIPROCATED by BOTH PARTIES. RESPECT in ANY relationship needs to be MUTUAL. It is very difficult to maintain a relationship where one party is always the one to show respect and tolerance and the other part constantly trangresses its limits. There is such a thing as boundaries in a relationship.
You said why can't a wife respect her mother-in-law. It goes BOTH ways. It's a two way street. The mother-in-law should also respect the wife. If you feel that wife becomes insecure at the idea that her husband can't balance his love for mom and her. Then KEEP IN MIND........that many MILS also become insecure at the thought that the son will replace his mother with his wife.
The issue is that there should be mutual respect. It's unreasonable and unfair to only demand this from the wife.
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You make too many assumptions or stating the obvious. Ofcourse, mutual respect is the way to go. Everyone who is an adult knows bullying and it exists in every relationship. On the other hand, there are many women who do not respect their in-laws, don't care for them...or understand their needs.
Why there is an assumption that if a guy loves his mother than his mother or in-laws will be rude to his wife?