Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
sorry TLK..i had to change the title a little bit. it was driving me crazy... :p
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
Err .. and what was the actual title?
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
"Meri kahani" :p
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
atif aslam fan?
that's cool tlk, i like sissy music too sometimes
atif aslam fan?
that's cool tlk, i like sissy music too sometimes
mood music eh?
How do you know that you have reached the point of harmony. There is no still point in relationships. They either improve or going down.
Oh yes, u can say its moving either upwards or downwards. So what i was saying is we had bridged a lot of gaps that cause misunderstandings in most of the relationships.
Now for the unexplained misery surrounding everything. That is just given in relationships as I said already. Relationships swing back and forth although swinging back is not as extreme as the time goes by. And no, you dont wait and be strong, you do something with positive expectations. Willingness to make it better is the key. At least one partner should have that willingness.
Yes the swing impedes with times. but the case is opposite here:( Not that it was gradual either:(
I have done so much with positive expectations, now i m just scared of having all my good deeds brushed under the carpet again:(
What sacrifices does one make?
Sorry Blackie just saw your question ...
After the wedding while the girl worries or thinks about how her new relations are going to work out , similarly the inlaws also worry about how the girl will fit in and whether she will create issues or become part of the family.
Sometimes , they might say or do things that may irritate you , go against you... thats the time you hold fort and use patience and communication as your only weapons of defence.
I faced it in my inlaws , who are generally very nice people but right after the nikkah they were all on their defensive pretty much all the time ... I would get picked on very small things ...and some not so pleasant things happened .. the first few months were very upsetting ... I didnt want to turn to husband to complain against any members of his family. Even he was influenced by some of the members ...
But eventually what took me through it all was that I did not fight them , I did not complain , instead I started making an extra effort to get closer to the sisters and MIL ... I felt it was a sacrifice at my end that I had to gulp down the hard bits , with no one to share my side of the story with. Not even with my own parents or friends.
It took me about two years and a few months to get on a comfortable level with everyone in his family ... it mainly happened coz I totally stopped being on the defense, chose to apologize even though the fault wasnt mine, covered their mistakes infront of husband, never complained , kept smiling , did what ever they said, made an effort to get closer to them , took interest in their interests. thats what i meant by sacrifice ...
Alarming number of threads here that when judged by their title they would seem to be made by a girl but its actually the other way around..
Life1 is turning men into women.
As for the thread I am surprised about some peoples’ thinking. I love my family but if they wouldn’t support me about my choice of girl then I couldn’t care less about any ‘bruised egos’ or ‘hurt feelings’.
Whats more surprising is that you chose to give your wife, who chose to marry you and loved you and tolerated your ‘frustrations’, a hard time over relatives who weren’t happy with you in the first place.
No offence mate, I ain’t married and hence have no idea how marriied life would be but my two cents after reading the thread. :k:
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
No offense taken man.
No I did not give her any hard time over any relative, she faced my frustrated personality more than anyone else cause she was the one living 24 hours with me.
Re: A guy’s perspective about love marriages …
I am sure Niksik will set us all straight for ganging up on you :k:
^ I did not want to start a thread on me. I wanted to share an experience and let people talk about it. Yahaan to kuch loug mujh pe dandaa barsaanay lagay hain :(
somehow the thread is on you now hehehe...and ap ne apna sar danday k neeche kiya hee kiun ;)..:D
No offense taken man.
No I did not give her any hard time over any relative, she faced my frustrated personality more than anyone else cause she was the one living 24 hours with me.
I want to applause for her for taking all that stress jus to be with her love.....May you both have a happy married life forever and ever.:)
hehehe, yes dont forget that you are posting in her Channel right now. 
Bus jee, maar khaanay kaa dil ker rahaa thaa. Niks is not in town so I though ke aap logoun se maar khaa looun
Thanks zennia. Appreciate the dua 
Re: A guy’s perspective about love marriages …
Where has TLK’s wife disappeared? All of a sudden and very conveniently. I am not sure if there are many places, even in Pakland, bereft of internet connectivity.
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
aa jaa'ai gee wapis. Itna fikar naa karain.
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
aacha theek hay.
Good for you for realizing what you did and you saved your marriage. Not all boys are that mature and grown-up.
APPLAUDE!
.. and why most of them fail. Especially the ones where the couple went against their family wishes to marry.
I can share my perspective. Ours is a love marriage. My family was initially not in agreement. I went through hell to marry her. Off course we got married with our parents' blessing at the end. Right after the wedding, a sudden guilt kicked in. I got what I wanted but I realized that i bruised some egos and hurt some feelings. I felt selfish. That made me lean more towards my family to make up for my previous stubbornness. Also, all my frustrations, I took out on my lovely wife. I can guarantee you that it was a rough patch for her where not only that she was struggling to bridge the gaps with her inlaws but must also be surprised that what happened to the guy who loved me so much.
I must admit that my wife is one strong woman. I always loved her dearly, even when I was taking out my frustration on her, but how would she know that. My attitude was definitely saying otherwise. I think that she had more confidence on her love for me than on my love for her.
I see many threads where girls get a surprise by the sudden change of their hubby's behavior. My advice is .. dont give up ladies. Its all temporary. If this was a love marriage then he still loves you as much. He may only be going through a little guilt tunnel. He will be ok soon.
Re: A guy's perspective about love marriages ...
aw
awwww hayee, ab samajh aaya TLK pooray GS per har jagah ghoomtay kiun rehtay hain :k:
Re: A guy’s perspective about love marriages …
^ 