Re: a gud daughter in law…
First of all… i would like to state my position on this matter [which i didn’t till now but somehow it was assumed to be otherwise]…i was merely asking you folks position on this matter…and how you view it…
It is VERY ESSENTIAL FOR THE DIL AND IN-LAWS BOTH TO KEEP EXPECTATIONS MINIMUM…so i did not have anything against this notion which Reha pointed at in the start.
i agree completely 100%…
i know what i say woudn’t matter…as i have said this before too…i know most of the female posters here do advise compromise and making things work…and I also see a lot posts in which the original poster is made scared of things and given advices to break it, leave it, divorce, run away etc etc [without knowing the precise details of the particular situation]…but when i sit back and read all the posts… besides the positive advices i see that impending doom and gloom picture is painted for the questioner, alongwith horror stories of how things went so bad for others…and I feel that from between the lines the reader is influenced in a negative manner (despite presence of the positive advices)…
why do i say these things? why don’t i shut up and let other people advise who have a different opinion than mine? why don’t i just stop selective reading??..
well…everybody is entitled to give their opinion…so am i…everyone (usually) has the intent to provide genuine and best advise to a questioner…so do i…but if i see something that i think is not constructive or healthy…i have to point it out…i am not losing my sleep over it…but being a part (if) of this place i feel obligated to give feedback to other ‘advisors’ and the original questioner…i will do my part to point it out…and other advisors and viewers and posters can chose to ignore it, dismiss it for whatever reasons, call me a woman hater or something…
or may be…
think over it, and may be, take it to be what it is…a feedback