Re: A girl with a past?
and exactly, how did the parents find out? did they tell themselves? were the caught? HOW!
My mother read conversations on my brother's phone.
Re: A girl with a past?
Lots of hypocrisy in the world, still mostly against females. Whenever a females is even raped or divorced, her 'value' already decreases. A male can even sleep around with many females who are not is his wives, he can be a known wive beater, a known nasty person, yet he will be easily forgiven and his izzat won't go away that quickly. Some 'izzat' that is, in our culture.
In this case, I agree that both the girl and boy were responsible for their action and it's unfair to only blame her. They were both wrong. I'm saying this as a mother. I have a son too. If he would do this, I would accept the girl and allow the marriage. I would let them know I feel that what they did is wrong, but I wouldn't only blame the girl.
As a mother-in-law, would you be able to accept the girl, and look past her mistakes and treat her with respect? My brother is also worried about the way my mother will treat her. He's ready to marry her, but he wants her to have the respect and support of his entire family.
Re: A girl with a past?
As a mother-in-law, would you be able to accept the girl, and look past her mistakes and treat her with respect? My brother is also worried about the way my mother will treat her. He's ready to marry her, but he wants her to have the respect and support of his entire family.
^ well he should have thought of that WAY before. however, it takes two to tango....so I don't see how the girl is at fault or to blame entirely. your parents should just let them get married and "legalize" the marriage. your mom seems to be giving your brother a slight edge in this and making it seem like the girl is to blame and is flawed for having committed this act. however - her own son was also a part of this....so let them be and get married. at least they will both be happy. they are the ones who have to live with the consequences. its not like your parents or the couple will broadcast to the world they had relations and are now getting married. that is between themselves and God.
Re: A girl with a past?
As a mother-in-law, would you be able to accept the girl, and look past her mistakes and treat her with respect? My brother is also worried about the way my mother will treat her. He's ready to marry her, but he wants her to have the respect and support of his entire family.
Every mother-in-law is different. You have nice ones and cruel ones and people somewhere in between. Personally, I would have a talk with my son and the girl. I'd honestly tell them how I feel and why. They should understand. Then I would let them get married. It's my son who has to spend his life in a marriage, not me, so he has to be happy with the person he wants to marry. After our talk I don't see any reason to keep bringing up what they both did. Not just the girl, they both did it in this case. When the wedding is over, I'd let them start their new life together in peace. In their own home.
I have to say that our family situation is a bit different. My son is an agnostic now. He is doubting which religion is real and I don't see why I should force him to remain Muslim if one day he decides a different religion or perhaps atheïsm is more suited to his opinions. It is a pity, yes, all I can do is give him better arguments in favour of Islam, but in the end he has to decide. I raised him with stories about Islam and explained him many Islamic issues. Now at this age, it's his own responsibilty what to do. Just like marriage, faith has to be your own decision too. I explain values in life and religion, but I leave it to the choice of my children what to do with this knowledge, once they reach the proper age to be able to think rationally and take full responsibility of their life choices. Of course I hope Islam will be their end choice, but faith can't be forced, it has to come from within.
I always told my children to think for themselves too about everything, make sure they are well-informed about their issues, and take responsibility for their believes and decisions in life. In the end, every human is responsible for his or her own deeds and intentions.
Re: A girl with a past?
isnt it a stupidity i believe... hahahaha. with all due respect for the particular subjected couple...
Re: A girl with a past?
Your brother seems like he requires psychiatric help first of all. If he's going to attempt suicide after every hurdle he faces, hes a got a rocky road ahead of him!
Re: A girl with a past?
I agree completely, but is there a way to make my parents understand that? My mother is insisting that he marries a girl of her choice, maybe one of our cousins.
The girl has a stable job, a high class degree, from a good family and is good-looking, my brother is still unemployed. He won't get a girl like her again, especially not one who cares about him this much and who understands him so well.
My brother tried to commit suicide three years ago, and she saved his life. My parents are still not understanding.
Dear, After that, I would suggest your brother shouldn't marry her. because he won't keep her future wife n his parents happy at the same time. He has to sacrifice one of them, rather getting married and then divorced her later.
If your brother is sincere to her, then he should sacrifice his blood relations for time being, once get settled; prove his family and they would be part of family again but again its take time, courage, patience and love.
Sacrifice tu karna pare ga. Rather this girl or parents. Choice is your brother's. If you convince your family somehow, the guilt will remain in their heart and definitely it will hurt everyone.
Re: A girl with a past?
So he attempts suicide? There's something seriously wrong in this story. I agree please get him some counseling and then tackle the issue with your parents. They are being unreasonable at this point and he's being to emotional. All of this are the consequences of his own actions which your parents need to accept. It is just wrong about how they are going about all of this. And the world does not need to know details about anything. Love marriages are more than common and your parents need to move on to the bigger picture, just wrong.