Sad. Our culture need more awareness about these issues.
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What do you mean by 'our culture'?
a FATHER such a PURE relation.what the world is coming too:(
Nothing.''Just the realization and awareness of what might have been happening for centuries.
Sad but true.
Do you really think this might be a recent phenomenon considering human mind and its limitless thinking????
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
I am proud of your friend
I am disgusted by her father
I am sickened by her mother
I hope her father never makes it out of jail to see broad daylight
I hope her mother regrets her actions for as long as she lives
If this started 7 - 8 years ago, it must have begun when she was a child...if there is one thing I find unforgivable, its child abuse. No mercy in my court there.
May Allah swt give her the strength to move past this and find sukoon. Inshallah.
Her dad is her biological dad, ............. Id stab them there and then!
Thats taking the law in to your hand.
Be careful and don't get sucked in to emotions.
why in the hell would think her step in un-islamic.
I think poor girl is surrounded by an ignorant bunch, she cant tell right from wrong.
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
I think the girl should be commended for being courageous! She should be sheltered and asked to stay with a decent relative. Otherwise, if she is lonely, she will just feel guilty because she would be thinking about the incident, police and all.
She does not need to look back. She should disown her family...in addition to everything else mentioned by guppans in this entire post!
What do you mean by 'our culture'?
Its taboo to talk about phedoz / family abuse in desi culture. Generally they are beaten up (at best) and let go. These people needs to be castrated, locked up etc!
Also, people don't know the general guidelines- what to do if bad things happen. Staying quiet NEVER HELPS! There is always someone who will help!
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
she wont feel guilty because that time has passed. Al insist stuff happer to kids up to 16-17 at most then they just dont take it.
How ever girl is going to have great difficulty getting into romantic relationship.
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
Kuri, your friend is definitely in my prayers!!
After years of abuse, I am sure her self-worth, esteem, belief has all gone down the drain - to say the least. That's why she's blaming herself. :(
I pray Allah swt gives her all it takes to overcome this nightmare, ameen! I pray she finds peace and happiness and a man who will compensate for everything. Ameen.
kurripunjaban thank you for sharing this very personal story. You must hold a high esteem of the community if you've come to us for advice. I understand that although it is quite obvious your friend is the victim, she is experiencing very common feelings of guilt and shame; guilt of condemning her father, guilt of tearing her family apart and the shame associated with the abuse. There are probably many other negative feelings brewing inside of her that most of us will never understand and never be able to relate to. It doesn't help when people remind her what a bad, bad man her father was and what poor, helpless soul she is.
I assume that she feels it was Unislamic to 'betray' her father's trust and she probably thinks she has not provided the due respect and discpline that is required of Muslim children. This is obviously not the case. You have to help her realize that it was her Father sinning. And it was perhaps the worst kind of sin ever. Allowing him to continue the abuse is a much bigger sin than stopping it. While he was abusing her not only was he committing a horrible offense, but so was her mother. And to some extent so was your friend. Every time he abused her, each of these individuals were acting immorally by letting it go unnoticed. Now that she has reported him, he can no longer sin. Her mother will no longer hold the heavy burden of this secret. Nor will she have to deal with the anguish of the abuse. Perhaps her reporting him was the best of miracles. Inshallah he will be treated for his problem and be well again.
This will be a new beginning and a new life for all of them. Especially your friend and her mother. Help her see the positives.
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
she is lucky that she is in a country where the taboo mentality doesnot make it any worse for them. She is better off such a sick family and i hope that Allah grants her peaceand happiness in rest of her life. She is obviously young since she is now in uni , and this is going on from last 8 years that means when she was a teenager and i can completely understand why she didnt report earlier. sexual abuse that is known by the family particularily mother and they act all affronted for her reporting it ,it is a wonder she took the step she took. Good on her. My heart goes out to her. I hope nobody ever asks her the question of why this long.
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
Astagfarullah! that Father should rot in hell, and so should the family for knowing and not telling anyone. poor girl for putting up with it for so many years:(
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
iam really sorry to hear about your friends ordeal and pray for happy and peacefull life
in one way she is lucky that she is in the west otherwise if she was in pakistan it was going to last for ever.
hundereds cases in pakistan goes unreported because report kerain tu kahan jain
colorful if he rot in hell or not he has done harm to her
My question to you is, she's happy she took the step, but being a muslim girls she doesnt know whether the step she took was islamically right. Was she right to do this to her father? She just keeps asking, does this make me a bad muslim, will i burn in hell for doing this to my father? I dont think whats he did was wrong and i thing she had every right to do it. As a muslim girl, are the steps she took acceptable?
Problem is this Muslims ne Islam ko maskh ker ky rekh diya hy. Bury logon ne Islam ko apny liy dhal ke tor per istymal kiya or burai phylti gai achai smat gai. She have done right. Islam ny jab os ky bap ko burai kerny sy manna nahi kiya tu ab bhi osy beech main lany ki zarorat nahi.
Log ghyr Islami kam kerty hain jab unhin saza dilany ka waqat ata hy tu bury log burai ko bachany ky liy Ilsam ko beech main laty hain Muafi or sabar ki talqeen ky sath meri raay main tu aysy logon ky sir phor dyny chahiy magar nasamjh naik log han main han milaty hain on ke sath or jin ko pata hy ham bhi ye burai ker rahy han woh tu kerin hi gy traf dari saza na dainy ki.
Woh aik himat wali larki hy Allah osy nyki or bhlai ky sath Himaty Mardan ata kery amen sum amen
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
ameen good news
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
Now that the news is out in the public about her/her family, i just pray for her to be able to cope with this. Kurripunjaban, you should be there for her like non other. This is going to be even harder then before. Before, yes she was molestated, but no one knew. But now not only does she have to face the pity of others(which is in its self is pretty sucky), she feels like she has sinned, but worst of all now half the people that were close to her will make her feel ashamed. This is so hard to deal with, i have seen it with my own eyes.
I think we should all pray for this girl to get well, and inshallah one day she can be a strong example for other girls.
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
yes american desi our society is like that and is very hard to cope with this type of situation as far i understan from this story she is innocent
There was a news item few days back in one of the local the newspaper's about a similar case in one of the Pakistani cities. It came to the limelight only when the mother took the daughter, who was a few months pregnant to the gynecologist. The mother in this case also knew of her husband's activities all along but couldn't go anything about it.
I have heard and read that incest occurs in our society, however, its not prevalent (or so I would like to think/assume) but the question is, what is a mother supposed to do in such a situation?
Re: A Father Assaulting His Daughter...
^the easy answer would be for the mother to take care of the problem by talking about it or reporting it, however, thats not how it works and yes we have to live with it.
The problem starts with the upbringing of our parents, which they were kept in the dark about rape, sex, child molestation, and so on, the list can go on for miles. Because no one talked about it but dealt with it (meaning GET OVER IT, IT HAPPENS, OR THERE IS SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD WHO HAS IT WORSE). When this is embedded in their minds, as they grow up, its very hard to change them. Yes they are adults but thats how they were brought up. Nothing can be done but to teach oursleves and even more teach our childern.
Agreed:k:
PS: Log ye bhi kehny lagty hain agar koi step utha ly ky muaf ker do os bychary (not only this person all other rape and child moleting cases) shaitan ghalib a giya tha os per. Banda pochy agar Rehman os waqat chup tha jab ye insaf laine khari hoi ab boly ga reham ko:aq: Is hsitan ko Rehman ju ky Qahar bhi haih or Jabbar bhi ka qhar daikhny do ab:fifa:
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