A couple we know has been married for several years and has been trying to have a baby. Unfortunately, it seems that they are unable to for medical reasons, and this is causing major issues in the family.
The boy’s family is recommending he divorce her and remarry. The guy loves his wife but wants a child. Adoption is not an option for them, neither is surrogacy.
This is causing relationship problems between the couple.
What would be the right thing to do?
Re: A couple without a child...
why doesn't he seek medical help or marry another woman if he desires a kid so much...its legal islamically and its a better option.
Re: A couple without a child...
They've gone through every possible medical treatment.
You mean have a second wife? I forgot to mention, they are a Hindu couple.
Re: A couple without a child...
They've gone through every possible medical treatment.
You mean have a second wife? I forgot to mention, they are a Hindu couple.
oh... :(
Re: A couple without a child...
If he loevs his wife so much and wants kids.. adoption is the only option! why make such a big deal out of something that can be resolved like this?
Re: A couple without a child...
The couple should try to maintain a strong front against the family and maybe look at why adoption isn't a an option(after they've sorted things between themselves)?
They need to sit down and have a chat about THEIR relationship first and THEIR options then think about family opnions secondarily. If they can't fix things between them then they have no hope for anything else.
Re: A couple without a child...
What's the objection to adoption and surrogacy? If they're against adoption, I assume they want a child who is their own, then why rule out surrogacy? There are plenty of kids who don't have parents and in my mind, adoption is a perfectly fine alternative.
To me, divorcing someone because of something that is outside their control is wrong. As much as I'd like to have kids, I would not divorce my wife because of that. They should get counseling to help them move forward. How much does the guy love her if he's willing to ditch her to have a kid? There are lots of couples who can't have kids but want to be together so they deal with it.
Re: A couple without a child...
The girl is against adoption for some reason. I am not sure why. Also, her in-laws are not for it either.
Her take is that if God wants them to be without a child then so be it.
Re: A couple without a child...
He has to decide whether his desire for a biological child is greater than his desire to married to his current wife.
What does the wife have to say about this?
Re: A couple without a child...
If the girl isn't down with the adoption idea but the husband is then there may be a problem in how desperately they want a child, it seems the husband will go down any route to have a fully fledged family whereas the wife wants her own biological child or no child.
They need to overcome that, if she isn't willing to go any further to have a family then her husband will have to put up and shut up, or consider leaving her.. if she's forced to adopt that would lead to ever bigger problems..
Re: A couple without a child...
She's mad at her husband for not being on her side a 100%...for even listening to her inlaws on their suggestion.
I guess the relationship has become strained.
Re: A couple without a child...
i wud live happily with my wife...without a child! period!
Re: A couple without a child...
The husband needs to reaffirm his commitment to their relationship, and that he won't leave her
The wife needs to understand exactly how much he want a child and maybe begin to make comprimises including considering adoption or surrogacey.
Re: A couple without a child...
this is so ridiculous. why cant they adopt a child? there are so many children in orphanages who need homes and here we have a couple who wants a child but is not willing to adopt. selfish people.
i would rather adopt than bring another child in this world when its already overpopulated and who knwos where its headed with the increasing poverty, natural disasters and wars. why would u want to bring another life in this miserable world so badly?. anyway thats besides the point, but seriously adoption is a great thing. when you raise a child, regardless of whether its your own blood or not, you love it just as much.
Re: A couple without a child...
The girl want to be the biological mother.
The guy is open to adoption.
His family wants him to remarry.
He didn't say anything to them.
She's mad at him for that.
He's mad at her for being ridiculous and getting mad at him.
They are both mad at each other.
Re: A couple without a child...
Let them cope with their present situation and move on. There are many couples in this world who live in peace and in great happiness,without child/children. :)
Divorcing her for this matter is not at all an option.She is very much innocent in this case.Ultimately it is not his relatives but he has to live with his wife.Moreover what's the guarentee that a second marriage will give him a child?If his second wife also fails to deliver a child,will he divorce her too and go for a third mariage? It's not at all practical.
Re: A couple without a child...
I hope time heals this dilemma and they get back to normal life. Right now it's very stressful for them as there's a lot of family pressure.
Re: A couple without a child...
The girl wants to be a biological mother?
Either she thinks something is wrong with the guy and not her OR she is just being weird.
Re: A couple without a child...
They have 3 choices:
Both need to keep their families FAR away, so they make a decision with a clear mind.
Together discuss the pros and cons of each choice. What is the most important thing to them, being together or having a child. A vacation may be helpful, since work, family, and normal life problems will be out of the way, and it will be just the 2 of them with their problem. The key is to talk, talk, and TALK, until they both know a midway solution or if they need a divorce.
Re: A couple without a child...
She's heard of stories where couples have conceived after being told they cannot so she wants to hold on to that hope.