A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Yo ..licking is part of sex ya know..

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

A colleague was telling me the other day her MIL wouldnt let her shut her bedroom door all day. the door should remain open, is her command. but that has nothing to do with affection, no?

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

She wants to make sure that they do not do it in the day time. :cb:

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Holding hands or casually putting your arm on spouse’s shoulder is ok, methinks. Anything more depends on how comfortable others in the family are.

PDA se yaad ayaa, my MIL was sewing a button on FIL’s shirt ekdum filmy style(he was still wearing it). They though no one was watching, but my husband snapped a photo of them :blush:. My FIL loved it, he had it framed and gave it to MIL on their anniversary.

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

I don’t think I won’t be a chipku spouse err I mean I will be :blush: but no PDAs :smiley:

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

:rotfl:

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

:hinna: as if it was her business.

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

There's nothing wrong with spending time with your spouse. But OP, you have used the words "clingy" and "chipkoo"......and these words denote an attachment that's gone overboard. And with most things that are done in excess.......they are not only unhealthy, they are an annoyance, and they often affect others as well.

A person has other obligations besides their spouse (parents, siblings, people at work, friends, etc).....and the problem with a chipkoo/clingy person....is that they prevent the other obligations from being carried out with more ease. And you've only mentioned how "in-laws" would get annoyed with a chipku......but have you considered that one's own partner can also get irritated with clingy behavior? It can have a domino effect on several people.

Of course, there are other factors to consider as well. It's possible that in-laws feel insecure or jealous about the time spent with one's partner. In this case.....the interactions don't have to reach the "clingy" stage....and they'd still have issues. It can be a tough balance to maintain....and courtesy/consideration needs to shown to both parties....and with this aspect is lacking.....problems arise.

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Uh, lame.

I'm talking about holding hands and walking together. Her MIL has a problem if they sit too close to each other on the sofa as well. That is not sensible nor mature.

I totally agree. I was referring to subtle ways of affection. Not kissing or getting too touchy-feely. I'm talking about holding hands or things which are totally A-okay. It's just some MILs have a problem even with hand holding. That a bit much, isn't it?

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Also I won't class "affectionate" in with clingy. They're not exactly the same thing. One can be affectionate without being clingy/chipkoo...and infringing upon the rights/time/repsonibilities of others.

Also, if it's the issue of PDA that you're zeroing on (which wasn't really emphasized in your original post)....if your own in-laws and your partner have no issues with holding hands and being sweet to one another in front of them........then more power to you. As for the other couples...perhaps they themselves don't feel too comfortabale with PDA. And if it's a MIL that's preventing them.....well if she has such an attitude...they wouldn't feel much of a desire to be affectionate in her presence anyway. Living with one's in-laws does get in the way of privacy and such issues.....and unfortunatley it's not always possible to live separately. For those in more restricted situations...I'm sure they find a system to work around these issues. One doesn't need to be lovey dovey to their partner in front of others.....to prove that they love their spouse. With the nightmarish stories you come across in this forum...it's a "bari baat" if both partners can be civil/respectful to one another before in-laws.

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

WTH! That is...beyond horrifying. Why cant't the husband stand up against this?

RV, I don't mean literally clingy to the point where it's getting in the way of work. I used it in the non-literal way where you're just being affectionate. :)

And Uzair, that is exactly my question. Why do in-laws care as long as the couple is being careful and not going overboard? I'm sure most have the common sense to know their limits so why do MILs especially care so much?

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

in front of MIL, please avoid holding hand. please advice your friend to keep MIL in middle and then husband can hold one hand of his mom and your friend can hold another hand of MIL :@:

what do you mean by too close, i guess eik dam chipak kay. still big NONO

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

^ Agree. Also, why can't the in-laws understand that their son and DIL being affectionate towards each other is a GOOD sign! Give 'em their space, especially in an arranged marriage. These early days go a long way in cementing the marriage.

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

since the day we got married, both of us have been very careful in the sense of keeping distance in front of my in-laws.. actually, to me, it seems awkward!!
its not jahalat, but in some homes, it is taken as Bayghairti.. I am not hitting you.. just telling you, what SOME families think about it!
rest, to let the “intimacy” be charming.. its good to keep the distances.. so that when you give your couple sometime alone.. you will enjoy it more!! :@:

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Yes you are right it is not , but for most desi MILs , everything is their business. They make a point to make everything their business that is why blood pressure is so common in older desi women. :hinna:

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

LOL^

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

lol dont tell me :hehe: Its Horrible!!!

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

:eek:

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Re: A ‘chipku’/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

:k:

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Re: A 'chipku'/affectionate/clingy spouses: are YOU one?

Isn't holding hands considered normal nowadays? I see most of the young desi couples I know doing it nowadays infront of inlaws.. arranged couples as well..