Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^ Yea i agree back in the day there was nothing as "adolescence" once you hit puberty you grew up, you became an adult.
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^ Yea i agree back in the day there was nothing as "adolescence" once you hit puberty you grew up, you became an adult.
I agree, puberty was the sign adulthood. My great grand mother did not even know her date of birth or even year of birth. That was very common back then that people did not care much about the physical age of the person and never bothered to write down the D.O.B. A physical change would tell if the person is ready for marriage or not
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
well played Reha.. (I mean the execution of thread/thought) I like :k:
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^ Yea i agree back in the day there was nothing as "adolescence" once you hit puberty you grew up, you became an adult.
yeah but zamana badal gya.
zamana nazook hai. :)
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^:rotfl: sara wtf? 
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
o acha..:D I've heard the older version of this song.. this kid has a real nice voice too.
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^ I heart your signature!
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
me too Reha 
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
It's easier to condemn from the outside..
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
If you don't mind can I change the question.. how would you react if a 22yr old approached you at that age?
I'm genuinely interested. Only honest answers please!
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^ As in, if a guy came up to me when I was 13 yrs old and asked me to marry him? o_O I would've FREAKED out, ran to my mother and cried my brains out!
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
^ As in, if a guy came up to me when I was 13 yrs old and asked me to marry him? o_O I would've FREAKED out, ran to my mother and cried my brains out!
What if he just admitted in a cute way to liking you?
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
If you don't mind can I change the question.. how would you react if a 22yr old approached you at that age?
I'm genuinely interested. Only honest answers please!
At 13, I used to show great respect to my parents' words. Not because I feared them because I knew they had my best interest at heart and they love me the most in this world. We grew up with strong values and guidenace, we had full trust in my parents. So my mother actually made the whole guy (especially the *mature * ones) approaching deal pretty clear from early on, which was an obvious 'don't hide, tell us straight away' thing. I guess at 13 I would've freaked out and told my mother about all the 'sweet talking' a 22 year old guy was trying to do with me. Personally I was an intelligent, strong willed yet a bubbly teen, I myself would've found the idea of romancing a 22 year old guy (that too who ddin't lived in the same country as me, wasn't my age group, didn't live in my block, didn't go to my school etc) a serious ewww.
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
I would have been flattered, shy and do not think I would have said no to talking to him.
At 13...when your hormones are so confused to begin with...these things might be strange but I would have been curious to know more about this guy.
Again...we're talking about actually being 13 and a guy approaches you who is also young (for a guy).
One more thing we have to keep in mind is our background. Where we are from, these things ARE a part of our culture and religion...so not unheard of and practiced very often. I do not think it fair to judge using the American definition of pedophilia. In Pakistan, India, Bdesh, etc. age differences of more than 8 years are very common and here too. Its not like the guys is 40 and interested in a 13 year old that could be his child. Its a young man interested in what our religion has defined as a young woman.
Just food for thought.
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
At 13, I used to show great respect to my parents' words. Not because I feared them because I knew they had my best interest at heart and they love me the most in this world. We grew up with strong values and guidenace, we had full trust in my parents. So my mother actually made the whole guy (especially the *mature * ones) approaching deal pretty clear from early on, which was an obvious 'don't hide, tell us straight away' thing. I guess at 13 I would've freaked out and told my mother about all the 'sweet talking' a 22 year old guy was trying to do with me. Personally I was an intelligent, strong willed yet a bubbly teen, I myself would've found the idea of romancing a 22 year old guy (that too who ddin't lived in the same country as me, wasn't my age group, didn't live in my block, didn't go to my school etc) a serious ewww.
That's really interesting. I was exactly the same as you till you got to the point about your mother saying 'don't hide tell us straight away'. I loved my parents (still do) and respect them a lot but we just didn't have a open talking relationship to the extent that I would be incredibly embarrassed to tell her and at that time I thought it would embarrass her too (though now obv I know shed be concerned more than anything)
Is this whole barrier between parents and kids a desi culture thing? Cuz I don't know many desi people who could openly talk to their parents about things like byfriend/gfriends, sex, drugs, basically anything taboo..
I sure hope my kids in the future are able to talk to me about everything and anything they want to
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
I would have been flattered, shy and do not think I would have said no to talking to him.
At 13...when your hormones are so confused to begin with...these things might be strange but I would have been curious to know more about this guy.
Again...we're talking about actually being 13 and a guy approaches you who is also young (for a guy).
One more thing we have to keep in mind is our background. Where we are from, these things ARE a part of our culture and religion...so not unheard of and practiced very often. I do not think it fair to judge using the American definition of pedophilia. In Pakistan, India, Bdesh, etc. age differences of more than 8 years are very common and here too. Its not like the guys is 40 and interested in a 13 year old that could be his child. Its a young man interested in what our religion has defined as a young woman.
Just food for thought.
8 year age gap is all fine and good when the girl is 30 and the guy 38, girl 21 and guy 29, girl 25 and the guy 33. Age difference gap when the girl is 13 and the guy is 22 is very much a generation gap. Its not okay and it should not be seen as something 'common' in any way, especially in the times we're living. Even in countries like Pak, India, Bangladesh a 22 guy would've been beaten to death almost if parents caught him romancing their 13 year old...lets not think that in places Pakistan you can get away with such things.
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
That's really interesting. I was exactly the same as you till you got to the point about your mother saying 'don't hide tell us straight away'. I loved my parents (still do) and respect them a lot but we just didn't have a open talking relationship to the extent that I would be incredibly embarrassed to tell her and at that time I thought it would embarrass her too (though now obv I know shed be concerned more than anything)
Is this whole barrier between parents and kids a desi culture thing? Cuz I don't know many desi people who could openly talk to their parents about things like byfriend/gfriends, sex, drugs, basically anything taboo..
I sure hope my kids in the future are able to talk to me about everything and anything they want to
My parents didn't talk about sex or dating (certainly not at the age of 13) but they made clear the ways we can get lured into doing things we don't want to (or things that go against my parents teaching - no boys was one them- I'm sure every desi Muslim girl is aware of that rule) and how we should tell em straight away in such case. Honestly I would've seen the 22 year as a wretched Pied Piper...its just the way my mother explained such things to us at young age.
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
So wouldn't you have been frightened of your parents saying that somehow it was your fault as well? This is considering that you're very young.. and that the guy was well respected so could easily stand up for himself if accused..
Re: A 22 year old guy and a 13 year old girl?
So wouldn't you have been frightened of your parents saying that somehow it was your fault as well? This is considering that you're very young.. and that the guy was well respected so could easily stand up for himself if accused..
I think it depends on your parents' perception about you and their own personalities and awareness about such issues.As parents raising three daughters, my mother was very aware and cautious about the the ways a girl can be lured and abused, she was very understanding and eqaully protective. My parents generally saw me as a good kid, I doubt they would've blamed me for the situation if I was the one who's spilling the beans. No matter how respected the guy was, if we told her about the situation, she would've believed us as we weren't the type of kids to seek attention or create trouble. I think she would've read deeper than seeing a guy as 'respectable' person and calling it the end of story.