**1- Make her feel secure- don’t joke about divorcing her, this will put a hole in your marriage. **
**2- Always greet her whenever you arrive **
**3- Your wife is a fragile vessel so take care of her- In this vessel there is a lot of goodness so treat her in a gentle manner. **
**4- Advice her in privacy and the best timing. Don’t advice her in the presence of others, it can be a type of humility **
**5- Be generous with her **
**6- Move out of your way for her, when she’s coming to sit get up and let her sit on your seat tell her: ‘here honey sit I warmed up the seat for you’ **
**7- Avoid anger. **
**8- Look good for her and smell great. **
**9- Don’t be rigid, you will be broken- just because you are a man doesn’t mean you have to be harsh hearted **
**10- Be a good listener **
**11- Say yes for flattering and no for arguing. **
**12- Call your wife with the best names she likes to hear. i.e: the prophet (SAW) used to call Aisha- A’ish! **
**13- Surprise her secretly. Ex: Bring her a watermelon when it’s not the season of watermelons. Pick and choose in surprising her, be an artist in surprising her pleasantly **
**14- Preserve the tongue **
**15- Accept her shortcomings/ everyone has one **
**16- Show your appreciation to her **
**17- Encourage her to be in touch with her kin relations **
**18- Speak topics of her interest. **
**19- Speak of her goodness in the presence of others **
**20- Shower her with gifts. The prophet (saw) said: give gifts and you’ll love each other’ MML It’s doesn’t matter how cheap or expensive the gift is, it’s the thought that counts! **
**21- Get rid of the same old routine once in a while, scrub the rust. Ex: Buy her ticket to a vacation cruise or something that she will enjoy. **
**22- Think good of her- husn althan- **
**23- Ignore some of the words/actions you don’t like **
**24- Add a drop of patience- It can go a long way- i.e: at her time of pregnancy, menses…etc **
**25- Expect and respect her jealousy. **
**26- Be humble **
**27- Don’t put a price on her happiness. **
**28- Help her around household chores just like the prophet (saw) did. **
**29- You can’t force her to love her in laws, but help her respect and love your parents. **
**30- Show her that she is an ideal wife; each and every wife is an ideal wife in many ways, so make her feel that. **
**31- Make dua’a for her and always remember her in your dua’as **
**32- Leave her past to Allah swt **
**33- Don’t show her that you are doing favors by doing your duties **
**34- ****aan/Satan is your enemy NOT your wife! **
**35- When eating, don’t only feed yourself, feed her TOO! - Not only does it go to the stomach but to the heart too. **
**36- Look at her as a precious pearl, treat her and take care of her like a precious pearl **
**37- Speaking of pearlsà show her YOUR pearlsà SMILE! . Don’t put your smile out-of-service when you reach home! Don’t be rigid, smiling is Sadaqah **
**38- Don’t hold grudges. Deal with the littlest matters and don’t ignore them, it will build up and will create a wall between you and your wife. **
**39- Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. **
**40- Respect her thinking; her thinking strengthens you. **
**41- Help her discover/develop her skills and her success within **
**42- Respect the boundaries of the intimate relationship- it’s a fragile matter. **
**43- Help her with the children; it’s not only her job it’s yours too! **
**44- Complement her!-give her the gifts of the tongues- **
**45- Don’t be a stranger to her meals, know your wife’s meals, and eat her food. **
**46- Let her know when you are traveling don’t just disappear, and also let her know about your arrival. **
**47- When arguments arise, deal with it and don’t run away from it. **
**48- Don’t share your home secrets with your friends. Keep your privacy, and don’t make it a garage sale. **
**49- Encourage each other to worship/obey Allah swt – Go for umrah together, listen to a lecture/recitation.- **
**50- Engrave her rights in your heart and in your conscious **
**51- Treat her with kindness through happiness and sorrow **
**52- Don’t jump on your wife like a ball!, in fact polish your love with many kisses- A kiss is a messenger- alqubulah rasool **
**53- When disputes happen between you and your wife, don’t go and share it with the whole world.-don’t leave your wounds open for the germs- **
**54- Show her that you care for her health. **
**55- Don’t think that you are right all the time!-No one Is perfect but the prophet (saw)- **
**56- Share you happiness and sorrow with her. **
**57- Have mercy on her. **
**58- Be the shoulder she can lean on! **
**59- Accept her as is, she’s a bent rib so don’t try to straighten it. **
***Side note: A dear friend once said: “a bent rib cannot be straightened, and in fact the beauty of it lies within its curve!” **
60- Have good intentions for your wife - alniyaatu atayibaah-
Source: Sh. Ahmed Shehab’s lecture
a little flatulence goes a long way when it comes to relationships.