Hi
I really want my son to do well in school islamic and public.
But lately he’s jsut interested in playing games, he has stopped reading his story books before going to bed.
I was trying not to worry as I thought once he starts school and Masjid he will be fine but what if he doesn’t change and doens’t take any interest ion Masjid or school.
How do I put the love of deen in a child’s heart.
Any advice?
Thanks
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
ack! I had the same problem with my 3. They were so addicted to that darn wii. We made a new rule: no wii at all during the week (i unplug the unit and put it on top of a closet). On weekends, they each get a 30 minute turn and I set the timer. When it dings, they're done. Its working well.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
agree with idea of Mamaof3 :k: plus I think playing so much of video games would have negative affect on eyes too.
Well, since I am not a parent - I doubt if my advice will have any value over here. Unless of course, you are wondering what happens to such kids when they grow up. Because you see I was such a kid, and as far as I know, I think I turned out reasonably okay!
:)
In my day (in the early 1980s), annoying kids (boys mostly) were encouraged to watch TV or play video games - It was like ja'o video games khil'o ya TV daikh'o, buss mayra dimagh mat kharab-karrow.
And for little girls, well, just give them a small mirror and a some make-up - And they should remain occupied by this the whole day!
Now of course the question is, how to turn the tide and make them do something of value? Well, personally I think that as they grow older, things will settle in an acceptable position. So either you will become more tolerant of video games, or they will start listening to reason a little more.
But whatever the outcome, to except anything (be it good or bad) from a 4 year old is not a good start. The way I see it, let the kid first develop some kind of personality first. Then build parameters around it...
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
Looking at my 3.5 yrs old I don't think I can just tell him not to do a certain thing. I think u should try to keep him occupied with other things. Take him places n engage him in healthy activities like swimming n other sports. And try to remove the wii from his room or the living room or wherever it is.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
Take it away. He will miss it for a few days but then will forget about it, especially if you occupy his time with other activities. Same goes for TV in my opinion, especially now days. In the past there were only 2 channels with a fixed 2 hours of childrens TV every afternoon, now kids can watch back to back programmes.
I can't believe people let young children play games or have access to them. <---- This is coming from someone who is an avid gamer and I could once have described myself as a 'hardcore gamer'.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
This is something that seriously worries the crap out of me. Only cause kids these days LOVE laptops, computers, etc. They aren't interested in games. My son is only 15 months old, but he is so in love with the laptop, I don't turn it on in front of him. Even the main computer, he loves it .... so I turn the main switch off from the back otherwise he just turns it on. You have to keep them engaged in other activities. Even if they are screaming, keep repeating that you want to read a book .... my son eventually goes and gets his book and then we read together.
I think this is something we have to take seriously and be really strict with cause so many young kids these days are so technology obsessed .... sigh.... take it away from him and don't compromise.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
It is going to have an impact on communication, concentration, attention span and other skills set that he should be leanring.
Video games, computer , t.v is one sided communication and I personally would discourage it.
Community soccer, karate. I am sure your masjid even has good programs for kids.
Everything in moderation is okay which is 30 minutes a day.
how old were you? The poster’s child is only 4 and I would not give her that advice.
:nono: it’s a easy to have T.V and video games be a baby sitter and I peronally have seen really negative effects on a child personality.
If you are old enough to understand moderation - it’s fine. But I find that my children are both more cranky after playing computer games.
absolute :nono:
Take it away. He will miss it for a few days but then will forget about it, especially if you occupy his time with other activities. Same goes for TV in my opinion, especially now days. In the past there were only 2 channels with a fixed 2 hours of childrens TV every afternoon, now kids can watch back to back programmes.
I can't believe people let young children play games or have access to them. <---- This is coming from someone who is an avid gamer and I could once have described myself as a 'hardcore gamer'.
Agreed! Just turn it off, take it away. Only allow it for weekends or once a week. Kids are kids, they will cry and cry some more but after a while .forget. what they were crying for :D. You gotta be strict, that's the only way.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
Agree Cricket!! Actually, my boys were horrified when I removed the unit. The first weekend, they were right on me to let them have their half-hour. The 2nd weekend, the weather was really nice and they kind of forgot about it and played outside all day. They remembered in the evening so I had to give them their 30 minutes but I'm really hopeful that this weekend, it will be completely forgotten. The badminton set will be up in the yard.
Out of sight, out of mind. It really does work, they DO forget!
I was SO proud of my oldest - the one who can get totally obsessed. He went to a friends house for a playdate yesterday and the friend wanted to play wii. My son told him that he isnt allowed to play wii during the week anymore.
WOO-HOO!!! GOOD boy!!!
awww, 
good job Mama :k:
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
I nip it in the bud. I don't own a wi.
My main point over here was that a 4 year old child is too young to be shaped into anything. Way too young… One philosophical example is that you do not start trimming a tree when it’s only a seedling, you wait till it is slightly older then a sapling - Then you start giving it a shape, otherwise you’ll end up killing the tree.
Therefore I say again, first wait till the child develops a few identifiable personality traits of his or her own - Only then can a parent be fully justified to build parameters around the kid regarding what is and isn’t allowed in the home… Please see similarminds DOT com for more information in this issue. That page has a wealth of information about the 16 different types of Jung’s personalities.
I by the way am 33, and my profession is related to high end science (exactly of what nature, I will only disclose in a private message). How I came to this was firstly because no one forced me to do anything against my will - And secondly, I always had freedom to explore anything I liked (even when it annoyed others around me).
I of course have a wonderful true story about myself to tell you all (when I was 7 years old), but I will first wait and see how this message from me is interpreted.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
I dont know about some of the things you say. For instance, about allowing personality traits to develop before allowing/disallowing. Really, you can see definite personality traits even in infancy. So I dont understand at what point in development you're referring to. Second, children can tend to do things harmful to their development if allowed. Watching SpongeBobSquarePants for hours and hours with glazed-over eyes. Or losing themselves so completely in a video game that they forget to go to the bathroom. Sorry, I dont see this as allowing them to develop themselves at all. If you have the type of kid who prefers to indulge in science experiments or reading the entire encyclopedia britannica thats one thing. But allowing mindless indulgences to extremes is not good parenting at all.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
We are kids for only a little while, rest of our entire lives we spend as adults. So shouldn't kids be given freedom to grow in their own direction? It's a simple question I put to you all.
Yes yes I know I to will have a heart-attack if I see any child watching the Jerry Springer Show. So there I too may draw the line - But games and other things are more or less harmless stuff (which kids will eventually grow out of).
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
I have to agree with Mo3.....I am sure that you can see personality traits even at early stages of infancy. I also agree that certain activities can be harmful if not regulated.
It is always easy to say "I turned out okay". I found myself saying that too often before I started to think about all the improvements that I could make in my own life/personality/attitude. I've changed loads and these are changes that I could have made earlier in life.
My seven year old is just now learning to use a computer and that too only because she has computer class in school. We have a PlayStation and the Wii in the house but she rarely plays with them. Probably only once a month when she is reminded that they exist. She has recently received a PSP for her birthday and she still turns down the option to play with it.
I simply have a very difficult time understanding how a 4 year old can be glued to a video game..............somebody obviously game the child enough access to begin with.
Re: 4 yr old son addicted to computer games
OK I now have 2 stories to tell here. One is my own, and the other is of a guy I once knew - Anybody still interested?
We are kids for only a little while, rest of our entire lives we spend as adults. So shouldn't kids be given freedom to grow in their own direction? It's a simple question I put to you all.
Yes yes I know I to will have a heart-attack if I see any child watching the Jerry Springer Show. So there I too may draw the line - But games and other things are more or less harmless stuff (which kids will eventually grow out of).
Don't agree with you on both counts in regards to this (gaming/tv).
You say you weren't forced to do anything as a child. But taking away games or TV or moderating time spent on these activities isn't forcing a child to do something. It's removing the option to do certain things that can be detrimental to development, both physical and mental. And showing children that there are a vast amount of other activities that can be done and let them select from those what appeal to them.
No child will themselves go towards gaming or TV, unless promoted to do so. Either by parents who do these things that the child will then want to replicate (like the above poster whose child wants to get on the laptop) or they are sat in front of them by parents who don't have the time to actively do stuff with their children.
If you think games and tv are harmless (again, mentally and physically), then you are very much mistaken. In moderation both are a good source of entertainment and gaming can even be mentally stimulating. There are lots of gamers in my field which is very much based on logical thinking.
Does a child of 4 need either of these things in their life? Absolutely not. They should be outside having fun or engaged in activities that will prompt their own creativity or love for learning.
Don't even get me started on parents that let young children play violent games made for adults.
Obviously, this is an “old school” aunty’s thread where military style ragging (that has been handed down from parent to child) takes precedent over new ideas… Anyway, tomorrow I may post something over here (as it is too late right now) - Because I am really curious about how all you people (who seem to know more then me) will react to what I have to say.
In the meantime, please consider the following activities for your children:
Meccano Sets and educational Lego Sets (can easily be searched by google, asn are not too costly either). Just make sure your child is old enough not to eat them. Otherwise you be running to and from the hospital getting their stomachs X-rayed all the time…
And as far as TV is concerned, get them to watch DVDs of the FragleRock And Star Trek (both are very clean shows that kids love, and they have no bad language in them). All DVDs can be searched at Amazon.