Absolutely not...shall not...will not...cannot...share a man with another woman. There are plenty to go around now...why does she want mine?
How would I raise a child in that home? What is my child going to call this other wife? Aunty Ji? Khala Jaan?
There has to be more to this 4-wives rule than meets the eye. It seems as if marrying a second time while the first wife is still there - especially without her consent - cannot do anything but cause trouble.
How can this bring any good?
Where is the reward in hurting your spouse and making her feel like less of a woman by marrying again and bringing that wife in her home?
Mirch, these questions are not directed at you necessarily but if you have anything to offer, feel free to.
Bang on.. there are women with high sex drives (my best friend being one of them-no names lol), there are men who are widowers and left with kids to bring up on their own, men who are incapable of looking afer themselves becuase of some ailing disease or diability...and there may very well be very successful women capable of managing financially more than one home..
should they be allowed to take more than one husband if one or more of those conditions exist??!!
When you agree on the same justifcations for a woman to have multiple husbands i'll willingly listen to your justifications.
But if a woman can only have one husband at a time be it rain hail or shine, the smae rule should apply to the man too.
I dont see any reason why it should be any different.
Personally, I believe the 4 wives rule was not meant to be abused the way it is today. Islam does not allow sex drive to be a valid reason for bringing another wife home. Those were NOT the Prophet's (saw) reasons, how can they be ours? I think we were supposed to use our own judgement, see where it is needed and apply it there.
This is exactly why I think Niyat is so important in Islam...because your Niyat will be taken into consideration along with your actions.
IS a man allowed to be married to number 1, and while married to number 1, shops around for wife number 2. Window shopping - he's gotta look at her. When he is married, he is not supposed to b looking at other women like that.
So lets assume he does some window shopping and see's someone he likes, so he finds out some details about her. How does he do this? Chats her up. Should he b doing this whilst married to someone else?
So he chats her up, and gets a bit excited about it, and then he decides to take her for a test drive...
What im trying to say is... I don't deny a man his God given right to marry up to 4 wives IF he treats them in the manner in which he is supposed to treat them (near enough impossible to treat them all equally). What i do OBJECT to, is the manner in which he finds his wife number 2, 3 or 4.
I was interested in getting your opinion on the following topic as it proved to be an interesting debate at the dinner table yesterday evening.
Assuming a man has the capability of taking on 4 wives and treating them all equally, is it justified that he does so? Islam permits him to do so.. so religiously i appreciate there is not the obvious restriction, but on (a) moral and (b) ethical grounds, is it right?
Girls what do you think..could you share your husband?
Gentleman - your thoughts??
As long as he's fulfilling his obligations, I have nothing against it. I know a handful of people who have multiple wives. I just found out that one of my friends does, but that hasn't changed my opinion of any of them.
I personally know two different families that are going through this right now. The husbands married a second time well into their first marriages with grown and married children! One of them was already a grandfather!
I can honestly say nothing good came out of either marriages. There was only devastation on both sides...wife #1 and #2. Because of a man's selfish needs, four women and so many children were hurt beyond belief...how is this fair? How can this be justified with the simple sentence "Its allowed in Islam"? Sorry guys, you will have to do better than that if you want to marry a second time in this day and age.
I would not like to share my husband with another (* like most girls*)BUT Since Islam allows it, in case(hopefully this never happens) my husband comes & says that he wants to marry another i would ask him for the reasons But i would not say “NO!Don’t marry” or leave him because of it.
I would learn to live with it .
