Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Dopple Dude- u raise an interesting point–Only a married person can undersand those things.
However-
-It doesnt have to be marriage because You would have heard the quote. ''people learn from thier mistakes, wise people learn from mistakes of others
Its just that now I feel somne personal guilt respective to this polygamy stuff. Ive just come back to gupshup after months- and see now liek the frquency of a thread every week on this on this topic–its just making me sick-feeling people are developing ideas. I thought Id add my realistic views to it for once, because I think its sick. (may God forgive me for saying this)
Further on this:
Not to be mr.wise or mr know.it; but through reserach into in this on poly and monogamy., to assess whether it really does increase quality of life for man or women.- and skipping the intricate details- It just does notdo so.
True Love is also mans major need, when he searches into himself.
No women can be happy being a conmponent of sombidies life. And unhappy people cannot maximise another happpiness. Women in polygamous who seem happy, are not from the love of the man but because of his money that they useing like he is using them.
These women are not good wifes- these are more marriage with money and status. Man greedy for sex, women greedy for money. Ladies look forward to dude death and claiming inheritance.
The men who have genuine females in polygamy–these females never ever remain happy,…they get into the marriage either because of desparation or deception. No genuine, self-respecting female tolerates to offer all of herself to a man and be just a ‘component’ of his. IF these ladies there are mature or tolerant of each another not to fight, they still extremly uncomfortable and can never relax due to the constant competitive situation of thier lives.
A women in this arrangment, somtimes just makes the sacrifice by ‘giving in’ to the other women which although may be peace preserving for other, her leaves her extremly unhappy inside. The man also may think he is keeping them all happy, but he also falters or a times comes when he jus too gets fedup of the prresure and retreats to the favourite or favoured wife/s.
I dont know about anybody else…but I couldnt put any human under this kind of torture. I have a distance family who relatie who has two wives, and each wife has 17-18 years grown up kids. There is so much stress for the extended family, particulary between the kids. I saw them at a reent wedding fucntion, the older wife just didnt looked happy. Its like shes just given into to let the younger one take the popularity and that,…probably for the sake of her 16 year old daughters future. It just looked wrong, man, I actualy felt bad for the concerned people and posed the question to my mum whats this mr.x thinking hes doing by having two wives when everybody around here has one..is he special or what…boy the family (husbnad) hads put forward clearly showed how embarassed he felt in admiting the truh. The particular excuse was that…‘the secnd wife went crazy etc for him and forced him to marry her’'..I was like what b.s- especially when dude had no apprent quality of any type that would make any crazy for ‘him’.
But the pont of ths case- is these polygamous people in stages of life especially later have lot of answers to give as they are different. When your living with society-what answer does a man give for mutliple marriage..could any man speak it was because he needed ‘stimulation’…this answer is especially inevitable to mockery when hes moved out of his youth into mature age. In youth it looks cool–but when you get old and fat and meant to be mature figure—you loose respect. Only those Polygamous men can just about preserve thier public acceptance, that are richer or higher in class than thier contempories or who already come from a polygamu cultural society.
Furthermore:
The feelings of the genuine women who married thier husband for genuine reasons; can be emphazised by just imagining for one second that how we men tend to burn inside on just the though of our girl or wife being with another man. It kills…Each and every man on this forum would feel this.
A hadith in bukhari boldly clearly proves mens similar instinct of the ‘the Ghira (possesive jealousy) a man feels/should feel on seeing his wife being with another man’’
Comparitivly, commonly women are referred as ‘naturally jealous creatures’ and or ‘over emotional’ or even ‘crazy’.
…So in support of these women…and to help men to emphasize thier feelings…We men are not a bit less possesive in respect if not much more…So women who complain about polygamy do so, very very sensibly do so–from the innate instincts of both sexes are made brought into view.
Another related, hadith from H.Aisha in bukhari states
‘’ that once my sucking (foster) brother was present with me, and when the Prophet returned and saw us, his faced turn red with stress and he did not enter or say anything, until i informed him that this is my foster brother, to which he replied Oh Aisha- becareful, as only he is the mahram foster brother who has been suckled by the same women as you’’
Respectivly, is how agitated/stressed the Prophet (pbuh) had becomed at just the sight of his wife sitting in the same room as another man.
So the point of the hadith is: Like us men–it normal and therefore so legitimate of women to feel the same stress way against the notion of sharing thier husbands.
So its only natural and mutually respecting action for man to be sensitive to his wifes wish to be his single wife.
Concurrently, Those koranic verses on polygamy that have been quoted and requoted and discussed and rediscussed so many times, support and convey that its recommended (for many intuitive reasons of benefit for man and women) to do monagamous marriage.
And unless any man practically lives for women or sex, then he will defintly have a hard time implementing his physical fantasies with his 2,3 or 4 anyway.
So many of the ladies comments, some of whom aremarried make lot of sense if tooken seriously. It looks like they are very serious and realistic in thier comments..and its about time we respect that.
Relating to the physcial capacity i am taling about her is that; somtimes dude u may get just one who may be more eager than you…it can happen…it does…it bloody does…then imagine times 4.
Not speaking from personal exprience her at all…but expericnes of other we read and hear daily.
Elaborating ont he physical capacity on the ‘he-man’ who i just implied does too tire. I quote another bukhari hadith…in which sahabies were talking about the Prophets sex life…which was also known as his ‘rounds’.
Specifically, this was how Prophet used to sleep with each of his 12 wives in one night. He used to travel from one wifes residence to the others in one night. The sahabies inquired with curosity on this aspect by asking ‘did he -the prophet-have the strength’, on which another sahabi replued ‘he-the prophet- had the strength of 10 men’
So bascially dudes. Its not all rosy beds. The above clearly implied you have to save or make more physcial strenght also for mutiple women. An additional an d imporant point- is that you have to sleep also with them on fair basis…that also part of thier right and your responsibility…s did the prophet observe. This basically is implieing that whether you like the stimulation more or less from , you goto do them all on an equal basis…the moment you ‘lean’ to one more than the other even in this…your gaining yourself sin.
So if the sex life,a man initially had enthusistically sort out for himself or thought he woudl ahve the liberty to change and shape according…he cant go about doing so…without earning sin..
Final hadith; from Bukhari to outline the women physical rights on her hsuband:
‘‘The man who’s wife satisfies him, whom if he leaves unsatisfied, will be questioned by Allah on the day of judgement’’.
Guys—can you imagine hwo embarassing this would be! So its not like a guy can do what he wishes …play when you want…rest when you want..nope no no
In Conclusion:
Multiple marriage brings all sorts and measures of responsbility!
And This is a guy narating and not a women sayig this…in the light of Koran and sunnah!
Further…
If anyone had experieced real love, then he would know that the love one sincere women can give when she is truly and soley appreciated…is incomparable 4.. Seriously..The 4 wmen dont do love…Love means; sacrifices, sex, doing things together, co-operationg in good and bad, caring for in good and bad, tolerating each others good and bads. In contrast, what 4 women bring is just stimulation…and talking about the easily becoming bored tendency of men…a moment is bound to come when you get bored of this stuff which will just look like meat..
So:
-When you Loose the dosh- You Loose these women…and it might happne at a time when it would to late to start things over the right way.
Coming back- True love is a broad thing. It brings more and different rushes to a man than the single stimulaton rush.
The phrase ‘Quality not Quantity’ can be relevant. The peace of mind and satisfaction one good women can bring may not be parralled by four. bukhari quotes:
‘‘The best treasure of your life in this world is a good wife’’..
-So the Prophet and Allah are saying this. It must be noted the treasure/most precious thing is not just ‘wife’ or wives’..but a ‘good wife’, which deduces that one has to be initially very lucky enough to find one treasure.
Embarking on a multiple wives mission- in the same sense you would have to be very very lucky locating treasure four consecutive times!
So 4 times treasure locating is higly improbabaly; you are going to be having not treasure but just empty treasure cases, or treasure fill with stone, or poison…that could pollute the rest of good you do havewhat.
Talking about evi women..and the omen of tha hadith that evil exits in three things; the horse, the propoerty, the women…I just dont even want to step to the topic of finding a ‘bad women’…
I know men who have one wife who say hey are the happiest men on earth. In all my expreince, i realy have yet to see any Polygamist pakistani man who is truly happy and can say that all his family units are happy. Theynevr happy—all there faces show is strain.
Beauty, furthermore, eventually fades, sexual urges fade. How long will any man go on then?.
Intrinsic qualities are those that create lasting attraction and affection betweentime.
Relativly speaking, Someone like Huge Heffner could be seen as un ideal. But i just feel sorry for that guy-because no one cares for him, he by himself isnt imporant in the least, Hes has one sad man inside. He’ll have no one beside his death bed. He hasnt gained the a the wordly wife that will be the beautifullest of his wives in heaven. Yes, Recalling- sahih hadiths also report that your wife of this world will be more beatiful than the hoories you’ll get in heaven. So you’'ll prbably wanna ‘do her’ at that time, more than the horrie, so it makes sense to look for that good/best/special one.
One again: This post has just got too long, tried making it breif–but thoguht id addres every thing in one post than have to make more posts.
Apologies for my scrappy english people. This one problem of mine i openly admit and am working on. Nver bothered about comminication skills so much as to content. Its becoming a drag on me now as it causes a slow in effiency-which my senors are coming to harass me on. I know for profesionals in eglish and writing its por grammer is nasty thing to have to tolerate.. To Those people-pls dont hesitate from point out any and all mistake in my posts- + it would be appreciated…Good Communication is also Important----Need Flow
British Schools DONT teach Grammar!!–and i never bothered to improve myself much as ive always followed technical subjects-But now im determined to finesse my flow—because it i know it looks hoorible–a senior lecturer embarasingly pointed it out to me in just before graduatin this friggin year!
