Just a simple question to those who say that it can’t be done ..
your logic is that…in quran its written that a man can not possibly be just among his wives…
thats why although islam allows 4 marriages with ‘justice’ as a condition…its just not possible for any man to do that…
do you guys think that the verse which allows 4 marriage was an extra verse? that God just decided to play a prank…by allowing it with an impossible condition??
I just want clarity on this viewpoint that people have…
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
No, I don't think Allah was playing a prank. Multiple marriages is still BETTER than having an affair.....than having an illegitimate relationship. Not having any limits or restrictions will just spread chaos in society. The multiple marriages is better than the recklessness. A marriage/family.....forms the root of society and it makes sense that Allah would emphasize justice because being unjust will not only lead to resentment between the spouses....it can affect the well-being of children as well.
With marriage being the prerequisite for a relationship to be considered jaayaz.....it makes one think twice about whether they want to accept such a huge responsibility with even just one person......let alone the additional 3.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
.....it makes one think twice about whether they want to accept such a huge responsibility with even just one person......let alone the additional 3.
from your post it appears that you don't subscribe to the logic which i am questioning.......
thinking twice is different from being 'unable to provide justice'
question was directed at those who believe 'its not possible for a man to do justice'.....hence even if one does it...he won't be just...hence not right.....
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
I think it's just a way (many) women use to feel better about the religion (this is not to condone those men, who happen to make the majority, who use euphemisms to disguise their real reasons for a second marriage). Multiple marriages ARE allowed in Islam, even for the common man who isn't as good and just as the Prophet is supposed to have been.
PS. just wanted to answer even though the question was for others.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
"And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course." (Surah 4 Verse 3)
You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allâh by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allâh is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Verse 129 in Surah 4)
^I'm not an expert....but the above verse says that marrying only one wife (for fear that you may not be just) is "more proper." "More proper".....is not the same as saying that polygamy is prohibited if one can't implement justice. And even in the second verse....it urges that in order be fair, don't gravitate towards one of your wives so as to leave the other in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't say that if you can't maintain justice.......then don't you dare go for an additional wife. Rather ( I think) and I could be wrong that....Allah has included the verse you're speaking of as a warning....for one to try their best to be sensitive to the feelings of all the wives. While perfect justice cannot be accomplished......that doesn't mean that one (who undertakes polygamy) should not try their best to be fair. I'm just guessing here.........that another reason why maybe Allah included the warning is to have one think twice about whether they are even capable of "trying" to be fair to more than one wife. While perfection cannot be achieved...........sometimes the "trying" part alone can be very very exhausting.
MAYBE....had this warning not been included.......polygamy would have been treated with reckless abandon. And I think this was the case before the restriction was set to 4 wives.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
I don't want to play with semantics here......because then you go to tiny details n subtle differences in meaning of words..whereas the larger issue remains the same....so please don't twist words
my question is in simple terms.....
when i say 'cant be done ' i am implying the reasons given by people such as the following ..
(not applicable to this day n age, not able to provide, not able to do spend time and whatnot)..all these are just ways in which anybody justifies their 'can't be done' opinion......
and i am looking for ANSWERS please don't crap the thread with counter questions...
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Has been discussed before.
If the prophet SAW was able to do that for multiple (more than four wives), then it is ‘possible’.
Not that everyone would be able to.
Hence, for a lot of men one is too many (especially if she is the nagging or demanding/liberal kind and he has not too many resources to buy big house, lots of jewelries) but for some it is possible.
Mormons/Arabs/Africans also do it.
More women at home, more headache these days. 
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
I don't want to play with semantics here......because then you go to tiny details n subtle differences in meaning of words..whereas the larger issue remains the same....so please don't twist words
my question is in simple terms.....
when i say 'cant be done ' i am implying the reasons given by people such as the following ..
(not applicable to this day n age, not able to provide, not able to do spend time and whatnot)..all these are just ways in which anybody justifies their 'can't be done' opinion......
and i am looking for ANSWERS please don't crap the thread with counter questions...
LOL, I haven't put forth any questions (counter or otherwise) nor am I trying to derail your thread. And I'm surprised at the accusation....as I had no intention of twisting words or playing with semantics. In fact, I haven't really taken a side on the matter. I was aware of the warning of treating all wives fairly but I was curious as to whether the verses in the Quran set the warning as a condition or prerequisite to polygamy. So, I looked it up....and from what I read (though I'm not an expert)...I don't see a prohibition mentioned.
BUT...I do think that when one is trying to seek an understanding of the Quran....one DOES have to study the words. The scholars study the semantics as well. Now...you said in your post that the just treatment is a "condition." There's a difference between a "condition" and a "warning." It would be interesting to learn which it is in the light of Quran. And you're also deeming the reasons (whatever they are) people usually give as just "opinions." Now you have the choice to either go by what the Quran says and means....or you can let other peoples' "opinions" dictate your decisions on the matter. Generally speaking, whether or not one treats it as a condition or warning, there's no denying that polygamy impacts various parties (the husband, wives, children, etc) and so one has to think carefully about whether they can handle it.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
May be what u think as an injustice might not be one according to God. Like i was reading about how one of the prophet PBUH wives gave up her turn to hazrat aisha becuase she feared prophet PBUH would divorce her / other reason ( i dont really remember). And Prophet PBUH used to pray that i hope God wouldnt question him/punish him for what he has no control over, i.e. more affection for Hazrat aisha than the rest.It kind of confused me.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
The only time when multiple marriages becomes problematic is when the wives are in a situation or culture where their rights are overlooked in favour of the husband's satisfaction. Which these days includes most traditional cultures e.g Pakistani, Arab, African etc
If the husband can afford each of his wives their full rights as a woman and a wife then there should be no problem...
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
I think in this time and age, its becoming impossible to deal with 1 marriage so forget about 4 :halo:. And those who are in denial that they can marry 4 times and not have to worry about their responsibilities and the fact that they are just and fair with all 4, well they can live in the bubble but believe me the burst will be very khaufnak :D.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
To ALL men who are trying to marry even TWO women:
Pehle EK shaadi nibhake dikhado. 
Going back to the question at hand…
Well NomiCA, if you can do justice and be equally fair among 4 women…go for it. In fact, I encourage it.
Just close your eyes and imagine…all four women PMSing at you around the same time every month! 
All that glitters is not gold. 
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
I wonder if Adam and Eve were married or had a proper nikkah with Adam setting up a haq mehr. Or if we’re all are illegitimate offspring ok its late and i dont know what im saying im gonna go to sleep.
PS: Adam would’ve been like “Ok if Eve eats the apple, she’s not getting her haq mehr back” LMAOOO
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
In Islam Eve didn't eat the "apple", both Adam and Eve are at equal fault of disobeying Allah(swt). The Eve ate the apple thing is a Christian misconception..
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
LOL, I haven't put forth any questions (counter or otherwise) nor am I trying to derail your thread. And I'm surprised at the accusation....as I had no intention of twisting words or playing with semantics. In fact, I haven't really taken a side on the matter. I was aware of the warning of treating all wives fairly but I was curious as to whether the verses in the Quran set the warning as a condition or prerequisite to polygamy. So, I looked it up....and from what I read (though I'm not an expert)...I don't see a prohibition mentioned.
My "accusation" was not directed at you all......from the way people usually reply to such topics...i was expecting that...and thats why i wrote all those things...and to be honest.....i think you are the only one who touched on the specific question being asked here...
nevermind......people don't bother to read the question and for whom it is intended before replying to the thread...
i was not asking whether it is right or wrong, do-able or not.....my question was to those who deem it impossible due to the existence of that ayat.....but unfortunately...those people haven't turned up...or chose to not answer the question at hand
it seems whenever people see the word polygamy and 4 wives....they have some sort of template and reply the same as they do in every polygamy thread regardless of the question being asked..
There's a difference between a "condition" and a "warning." It would be interesting to learn which it is in the light of Quran. And you're also deeming the reasons (whatever they are) people usually give as just "opinions." Now you have the choice to either go by what the Quran says and means....or you can let other peoples' "opinions" dictate your decisions on the matter.
yes there is difference.....but i think you would agree that the arguments people give usually make it sound like a condition...and the then mixing up the warning with condition they end up at the conclusion that its 'not possible' and justify their opinion islamically
My purpose was to question the 'opinion'....not make a decision myself.....I am not going to marry 4 women....i don't know how people come to that conclusion....my question is about a specific argument being made....
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
God doesnt play pranks, he doesnt need to.
It's doable but near impossible for most men and i don't even blame then because it must be quite a task to deal with 1 women forget 4.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
I agree with redvelvet.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Nomi.
I think you imply by that verse that:
If God has said that man cannot do perfect justice between multiple wifes, then perfect justice could not be a precondition, as it would sound cointrdictory of God to permit somthing that he knows is impossible (naouozibillah).
By this you argue (and correctly so) that as perfect justice is not a precondition but a more a warning that men who engage in multiple marriage are should aim for justnes between the wives.
I would extend your intrpretation, by saying that yes, perfect justness is nota precondition. However the emphasis of justness, implies an **obligation **to the husband. It implies the same obligation to a man that he would ahve to one wife, which if he had not furfilled would be accountlbele befiore God, to each of the additional wives.
Therefore one should be serious and cauitious before taking on the islamic responsibility of one and then say 3 additional wives.
Husbands and Wifes have important duties to one another, which if not met wil be accounted for infront of Allah on the day of judegment.
So ifa man wants to increase his burden/responsibility of one to three wife, let him know he has 3 times more to answer to God on the day of judgement, if he slacks or becomes careless on the rights of any wife.
The Prophet (pbuh) did have a mukltiple marriage lifestyle, but it should be remembered, that ina ccordance with the above verse, he also encountered very much burden in furfling the demands and maintating justness in every aspect to each of his wifes. He strived to do this because he knew it he was to be accountable.
So while any man is to proceed in multiple marriage for whatver reason, some of which tht could cinlude, additional s.gratification, infertile 1st wife, disabled first wife.. he will incure identical responsibility and accountibility of each as to one wife.
bottom line: is that for whatver reason a man indulges in extra marriage, whether he provides for them equally or not, his resposibility in the Godly book is massivly increased and with resposibility comes accountibility, if he lacks or sways in his full rights due to each and any wife, it will weigh heavily into his negative balance for the day of judgement.
Therefore: The big picture is to be borne in mind.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
In Islam Eve didn't eat the "apple", both Adam and Eve are at equal fault of disobeying Allah(swt). The Eve ate the apple thing is a Christian misconception..
I was "Joking". But both Adam and Eve had something from the tree. A fruit, it isn't mentioned which fruit but they tasted some sort of fruit.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
The funniest thing is that the men who whine most about it being their right to have multiple wives–can’t even get one girl. 