Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
^LOL. Just thinking the same thing. Finding just one person whom you find compatible in various ways is hard enough. And managing just one spouse is challenging enough. That it's almost funny k jin ke paas aik bhi nahin....are getting so worked up over the intricacies of multiple spouses.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Quoted for comic relief… 
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
^LOL. Just thinking the same thing. Finding just one person whom you find compatible in various ways is hard enough. And managing just one spouse is challenging enough. That it's almost funny k jin ke paas aik bhi nahin....are getting so worked up over the intricacies of multiple spouses.
When the concept was first put in to practice, people didn't look for compatibility :D They just married for sex and babies.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Men who argue so vehemently about having the right to marry four times are almost always SINGLE.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Sorry but are you married even once? doooor ke dhol suhany hotay hein. nazdeeq jao tou awaaz se kaan phatt jaain ge :halo:
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Unbelieveable. A Guppy is asking a simple question and people are going on with their personal attacks and derailing the thread.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Unbelieveable. A Guppy is asking a simple question and people are going on with their personal attacks and derailing the thread.
Well....you are right Man.....most of the people don't bother reading at all......even if a question is not directed at them, and the question is not a 'us against them' type......even then people go on their usual rants....
i can bet not one person cared to read this.......yet they all believe i am making this discussion to 'vehemently support men's right, or i want 4 wives.....or i want anyone else to have 4 wives...
My purpose was to question the 'opinion'....not make a decision myself.....I am not going to marry 4 women....i don't know how people come to that conclusion....my question is about a specific argument being made....
anyways...... thread has been crapped on as was my fear.....
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Oh..one more thing…nobody seems to read my signature 
…now still you people think i want 4 wives?
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Im sorry but its hard to take a topic like this seriously when
A - its been beaten to death - brought back to life and then beaten to death again.
B - obviously, we all know four wives are allowed in Islam and Allah swt has allowed them. Most men want to put a full stop right there and pretend like thats all there is to it. When you're going to stress the fact that its allowed...you should be able to deal with a counter argument detailing WHY and what that same Islam you use has prescribed as the proper way of dealing with the women in your life. How you expect answers to be tailor made according to your preferences is beyond me. Sorry if its not what you want to hear.
Most married men dont ever bring up the issue of having 4 wives because they realize how much work ONE marriage takes. Imagine FOUR.
So yeah, its DEFINITELY allowed and if my husband really really really really wanted to marry again...I might let him. Not because Im such a generous woman but because if he thought of marrying again...he should and then deal with whatever comes his way. :)
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Nomi I think you are right in your argument, people's standard of happiness and satisfaction varies, and it also depends on the cultural setting/background. So while the majority of women would hate for their husbands to be marrying a second woman, some women might be okay with the idea, depending on whatever the reasons are. You just can't give a sweeping statement that it is impossible and a person can never keep the balance. It all varies.
Having said that, personally I find the idea of polygamy quite disturbing.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
We should have a list of topics that have been “beaten to death” at Life1
I think most of us know which one will top the lists 
p.s: Nomi, jiggar char biwiyan nahi bachiyon ko patane k barey main socho.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
P.S I don’t understand the personal comments people have to make…its seems just too difficult for people to make a comment or respond to the question without talking about the person making it…
I could easily make pesonal remark to each n everyone…but why should i?? its topic under discussion not personalities…
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
4 marriages rnt impossible if u hav enough resources n u can handle / organized / control them single handedly , thts where desi failed :@:
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
omg none of what i said was personalllllllllllll…
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Someone PLEASE burn this chai smiley. And this --> :) smiley. They are so damn condescending.
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
Not that i care…since you brought it up…here just little collection…i think it doesn’t hurt one’s ego too much to re-evaluate what one has said perviously…
I don’t see any of these being related to the topic at hand…rather they are ‘aimed’ at the person making the post..
i’m done
Re: 4 marriages ‘impossible’
I totally agree :k:
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
Oh the age old topic!!!
Btw, which men wouldn't want to be sandwiched between hot wives?
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
^ Esp someone else's.
Re: 4 marriages 'impossible'
I totally agree that this topic had been talked through and over and over to the point of extreme boredom.
The only reason i made one post was to, again not in favour of nomi's male gender, but to help summarise and brief his point..which even until yet he has been apprently been unable to do-
Nomi has not been advocating the notion of 4 marriages. For the discerning amongst us, he is pointing that ...if it were impossible to do absolute justice between spouses in multiple marriage...and absolute justice were a precondtion of multiple marriage...then it would be cointradictory of God to permit it- as never things for beings that are impossible.
Again, on an objective stance, yes Nomi, just to give you satisfaction on your very keen concern, that perfect justice is not technical condition, but those ayats concerned, clearly indicates that the man before dwelving on additional or multiple marriage must make sincere evaluation of himself, his resources, and his circumstances to whether he will be able to furfill the obligation in multiple marriage of doing justice between the wives.
So I would re-iterate, that perfect justice is not a precondition, but it is an obligation that a man must do his best to strive towards furfilling, which that if he does not, he would become answerable to the parties concerned in this world and the next world along.
Nomi Mate, God asseses us and accounts on on every single ability or bounty he endows upon us. He will inquire you on the day of judgement on the hands, eyes, feet, a tongue, he agve you and how did you use them? Did you them for good, worthy,useful purposes or useles, wasteful and bad ones.
Similarly he'll ask you how you used the wealth, knowledge, or power he gave you? Did you be gratful of it and accordingly use it for good purposes or did you abuse or sqaunder it?
Similarly- if he allowed you to marry four wives, and you did- then he- will hold to to account on how you dealth with this extra facility he gave. Did you maintain justice and keep all the wives happy, or did you just abuse this facility. You married 4 women and you took up the responsibilities of guardianship, providing, and loving for 4 separate women.
If you falter in looking after one wife properly. You would be accountlble to God on the day of judgement.
If you had multipe marriage and failed to looked after an additional wife, you would be accountlble the same way as for the first. So one the numbers pileup, you can imagine the burdens piling up.
So while i agree to your clever point-that it cannot be a precondition to maintain perfect justice between the wives in multiple marriage; I say that it is though an obligation, to aim to towards achieving perfect justice. You should make sincere judgement before and after any multiple marriage whether you are able to implement jutsice in all aspects between the wives. God knows whether you make sincere assesments and evaulation of yourself or not, and will also know post-marriage if you are sincerely making the best effort or not to do justice between the wives; as had the prophet (pbuh) strived to don throughout his life-
Infcat- the verse in which Allah says 'that thy will never be able to do perfect justice, how however hard you try' is illiustrated in the sunnah of the Prophet. The prophet who ws the perfectst and capablest of men- faced great starin and burden in striving to meet all the demands and needs of his wives. It was dificult for him.
So if somthing has been difficult for the Prophet (pbuh), you or me, are just ordinary human beings. That why it can be deduced very sensibly, from that ayat, that it is safer adnd preferable, to engage in one marriage.
Advocates of polygamy, often quote the prophet sunnah of multiple marriage, to support thier case, byt they fail to recognise or purposly omit that how emphasis the Prophet had to make in order to maintain justice and the pleasure of each of his wives with him. This wasa prerequisite of his multiple marriage, which if had not perserved in furfilling he would have been answerable to Allah.
With a totally objective answer to Nomis topic- which i hope staisfies him.
I take the oppurtunity to say that some women often unnessecerly come out making sarcastic and personal remarks in polygamy related threads. I hope in this instance they were not directed at me:
Nverthless; I would say that the women who are making the such personal rmarks, should also be mindeful that thier personal rmarks can be countered to and possibly more harshly replied by with. And I think its about time somebody tasted a some of thier own medicine:
To mention, There are certain guppans on this thread who have difficulty in ascertaining whether they are single or are married and also heavily pregant....
So standing against the sarcastic and rude personal remarks at certain men being unable to getting a single wife, that make them look stupid contemplating poygamy. I would say that atleast these men are aware of thier marital status and have not crossed about to the brink of insanity at other threads or multis describing thier happily married lifes with children and about especially being heavily preganant.
I do wonder how your pregancy has been getting on ma'am, or if the delivery had occured by now, yourself must have posted about it in intricate detail as you do on that multi about your married life...
I request any mod or TLK, to leave my post as it is, as this is a single occassioned vague personal remark to another poster who has been making personal remarks to posters on this topic at various occasions
:)