30 year old Pakistani women

KKF · November 25, 2013, 2:50pm

Re: 30 year old Pakistani women

I found someone on my own, however, not by choice. I was raised in a household where arranged marriages were customary so that is what I was prepared for. It was a question of a match. I did not find that the men who’s families proposed were the right fit for me, pretty much from the time I was 20 for the reasons I described earlier.

So it wasn’t like we were holding our breath waiting for risthas and no one came. There were lots of options, I simply exercised my option to say no. As time went by, I continued to live, work and focus on other areas of my life. The fact that I found someone was just my kismet. A have many, many friends in the same boat, only they are still single by choice. So in my case, while I was criticized for being a career woman, the fact is I became a career woman overtime as the rishtas weren’t acceptable.

The original post was about professional women in their 30s. The point I was trying to make was that professional girls get a bad reputation for being too busy in their careers to get married whereas the reality is that there are simply fewer men that we want to be with.

This is actually a very big problem in the United States. If you look at enrolment statistics and graduation rates, more of our girls are being accepted and graduating from colleges and universities. Pakistani Students Associations have actually released numbers to support this. I went to an Ivy League college that has a history of affluent Pakistani grads. The enrolment ratios were astounding: for every 1 Pakistani girl that enrolled, 4 Pakistani boys were rejected and only 0.10 accepted. For every 2 Pakistani female graduates, 0.25 Pakistani males graduates. The numbers were the exact reverse 10 years prior to when I started college. A number of Student Associations report similar numbers.

At some point something changed. Our boys started enrolling less, and those who enrolled are graduating less. My brother is 9 years older than I am and went to the same university. His observation was that the Pakistani boys enrolled in our university back when he was in school were far more serious about higher education and graduation. The ones who came from Pakistan were always in fear of wasting their parent’s hard earned money on tuition. The boys that enrolled while I was in university are far less serious. Failed multiple classes, skipped, were busy with girls or partying. Also, more girls were being sent from Pakistan to study, however, they were far more likely to succeed.

Nobody wants to talk about this stuff but it doesn’t make it less true. Our boys are less disciplined and falling behind, creating more females who are far better educated, more qualified and more eligible. That is why you are seeing more single women in their 30s than ever before.

Thank you for the wishes. I just want to help people understand what is going on that is making this problem worse.

are you having time off from work/studies these days? … j/k