Your post has reminded me of something that made me very sad.
I had a friend, whom I cared about a lot. She wasn’t a Pakistani, but a Muslim from Surinam. I liked her so much. Last time we met, was in my place. We spent some time together, everything was ok. Then she didn’t contact me for years. I would like my friends to contact me once in one or two years. We don’t necessarily have to be together, even a line or some sort of message, even one word “hey” or “salaamu alaikum” would be nice. That’s it. But from her I heard nothing at all. So I called her, maybe she was in trouble, I was even getting worried. Then her boyfriend answered the phone and told me she was oké and out with her friends. (please don’t judge her, oké, she’s been living together with a Hindu boyfriend, but it’s her life and she knows how I feel about it and after I understood I would still be a fine Muslima, even if I would still be her friend in that situation, it was oké between us)
I felt sad. I think the fact that I was worried for nothing also got to me. Anyway, I was sad, because I was thinking, in all those years, she hasn’t once answered any message of me, while the last time she was in my home, we had a nice time, everything was oké now and all I wanted was, to hear from her or receive even one line from her, that she was oké, or even one word. But obviously I wasn’t that important to her. I had been worrying about her for nothing, while for her I was apparently nothing, because she had time for everyone else, but no time to let me know, once in a year, or once in two years even, that she was oké.
For me, she was the sister I have never had. I didn’t know her for many years, just a few. But she got in my heart, after a few times talking to each other, it was as if I knew her all my life. I cared so much about her. I was always so worried about her. It just made me cry to realise I was nothing to her, she could have told me, that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. That would have been sad too, but at least I would have known in time that I was nothing to her and then I wouldn’t have worried about her for nothing. I would have known that she was oké and that the only reason she didn’t contact me anymore, was because I meant nothing to her. When she was here, she never gave me the slightest hint that she didn’t care for me. We were fine. She should have told me instead of letting me get worried, she knew I worried about her.
Is that what you felt for your friend? I know the situation isn’t exactly the same. At least, your friend did contact you once in a while. But still, who am I to tell you what to feel? Who am I to tell you how to handle this situation, I who couldn’t even handle mine and was so sad about it!
Often I “know” how people should take care of their problems, I say all kinds of things so they feel much better, I give them advice sometimes, it even works a lot of times. Yet, my own life wasn’t without problems or sadness.
Who am I to tell you anything?
