Re: 2nd marriage!
on the other hand, if dressing up just isn't her thing, if shes always very simple and saadhi to begin with, then its not right to force her to dress up if she's not comfortable wiht it.
Re: 2nd marriage!
STP,
true & thanks for thinking as and saying this.
Dushwari
I don't know why people in our society look at divorced women differently. Most of the wives of the Prophet (saw) were divorced women (or widow).
It is the character, (Seerat & Haya) and manners that matters the most, no matter how she looks like and what is her back ground.
Her physical appearance and back ground would fade away with time, but the inner beauty would always remain, by the grace of Allah.
Re: 2nd marriage!
wow...she got lucky...that a previously unwed guy is marrying her...and she doesn't want to get dressed up for him.
Are you kidding?
I don't know why people in our society look at divorced women differently. Most of the wives of the Prophet (saw) were divorced women.
It is the character, (Seerat & Haya) and manners that matters the most, no matter how she looks like and what is her back ground.
Her physical appearance and back ground would fade away with time, but the inner beauty would always remain, by the grace of Allah.
Exactly.
Re: 2nd marriage!
This is the pitiful state we're in. ................................ She was not whoring around!
You see the tragedy is that when a woman gets divorced or becomes a widow not only men but also "Some" women try to give her this impression that she has become a second hand being. I think all the women in her neighbourhood and in her family should unite to support and encourage her by treating her in the same manner as they used to treat her before, and should take a stand against any man or woman who tries to de-grade her, make her feel inferior or make her concious during her new marriage.
What I don't understand is that in alot of cases the **same women **and most of the men would never give a man the same feeling after he is divorced or a man whose wife has died (I don't even know if there is any word in english used for them)
We have seen cases where a man is marrying after a divorce with a woman who is marrying for the first time, but no one brought up this issue of how he should behave or dress, JUST BECAUSE he is divorced and it is the FIRST marriage of the woman.
Re: 2nd marriage!
@ Dushwari sister. JazakAllah khair for the correction. Most of the wives of the Prophet (saw) were either widows or divorced. Also the marriages were taken place at the elder age, which clearly indicates that the intentions of the Prophet (saw) were to encourage men to marry divorced women and widows even at elder age so that those women could re-start their new family life. Before the marriage most of the wives of the prophet (saw) were known for their Beautiful "character and manners" NOT for their physical beauty, wealth or status.
It is a matter of shame that some men marry more than one women for their "Hawas" (lust of beauty), wealth and status and when asked the reason, they quote the example of the Prophet (saw) having more than one wives. How low can people get by quoting great people for their "immoral desires" I say this here because most of them don't do justice after marrying more than one wives.
Re: 2nd marriage!
^ Agreed!
If you look at the marriages of the Prophet, almost every marriage had some lesson in it for others to learn. By marrying Khadijah (R.A), He (S.A.W) showed us that you can marry a person senior to you. By marrying Aisha (R.A), he showed us that you can marry a person younger than you. He (S.A.W) even married widowed women to show us that we should take care of women when they are divorced or when their husbands pass away. It makes me sick that we muslims, unfortunately, regard a widowed women as a piece of furniture that is good when bought brand new but not good enough when some1 else had it before. When a man is widowed, we consider his second marriage a regular thing but when a woman is widowed, we think it is the end of the world for her. A woman's status in front of Allah does not decrease if she is widowed.
Re: 2nd marriage!
^ So, you plan on marrying a widow?
Re: 2nd marriage!
sheesh people...let the poor couple do what they WANT to do. My hubby and I had no interest whatsoever in a huge affair for our wedding. We felt married already, we were older and we just wanted to get on with our life together and make some kiddies. No fussing. And thats exactly what we did. I dressed so nicely, wore a beautiful gown etc but all we did was go to town hall with our 2 witnesses then off to a lovely dinner and a week in a beach house. My hubby was so very releived that he didnt have to deal with all those frills and parties and so was I. If this is the case with your friend then the best thing you can do for her and for her happiness is to wish her well.
Re: 2nd marriage!
^ So, you plan on marrying a widow?
And what if I'm already married? You probably wouldn't want me marrying another woman as that might mean that maybe I will be doing it for* my own pleasure*. Or maybe that'll make me a pig.
Re: 2nd marriage!
LMAO.
Lets be real. You're not married. Its obvious.
Re: 2nd marriage!
How do you know…
Re: 2nd marriage!
sheesh people...let the poor couple do what they WANT to do. My hubby and I had no interest whatsoever in a huge affair for our wedding. We felt married already, we were older and we just wanted to get on with our life together and make some kiddies. No fussing. And thats exactly what we did. I dressed so nicely, wore a beautiful gown etc but all we did was go to town hall with our 2 witnesses then off to a lovely dinner and a week in a beach house. My hubby was so very releived that he didnt have to deal with all those frills and parties and so was I. If this is the case with your friend then the best thing you can do for her and for her happiness is to wish her well.
exactly
Re: 2nd marriage!
Haha!
Re: 2nd marriage!
agree completely:k:
Re: 2nd marriage!
I say this here because most of them don't do justice after marrying more than one wives.
There are two subjective questions to answer here:
- What is justice?
- Is justice possible?
Think about it.
Where women are suppressed and considered a commodity, polygamy will remain acceptable. If women are empowered, not a single women in the world will allow her husband to marry second time.