phew, i'm not the only one panicking then!
it's funny, i remember trying my lengha on and it felt fabulous but that was months ago and since then i've seen hundreds of other lenghas, online, in shops, in magazines etc. There's added pressure because we're having both a joint mehndi and joint wedding reception and i just wonder whether people will be expecting me to wear a very traditional bridal red, and i'm going to rock up in green!
for all other march/april brides, how are you keeping yourself sane?
I think it's quite difficult for any bride to keep calm and not stress out the build up to the wedding. There are just so many aspects of a wedding to consider, and so if you are aaaaaanything like me, your mind will be in over drive even whilst sleeping! I am trying my hardest to not have sleep deprivation over the next 2 weeks, as I want to look and feel refreshed on the big day. I have been taking herbal tablets from hollands and barratts called "Kalms" that are easing and relaxing me to sleep every night. For any other upcoming brides - try them out as they have helped me considerably.
Like any other bride to be, I just want this stress to finish and for life to resume. Although life is going to change dramatically for me (I am moving 250 miles away), I am excited to start a new life with my partner and build a future! :) Thats more exciting to me atm than the wedding! Oh and the honeymoon lol! Boy do we need it. Don't ever get married and move house all at once cos = big time stress overload! X
That is cool that you get to do things your way now. Though, I have a question popping up in my mind. Not that I am an expert on Islam, but isn't Walima compulsory from the groom's side? From what I understood, no feast or dinner is required in Islam from the girl's side on nikah , but there is nothing wrong with it in doing so. However, the Walima feast is due on the guy, even if he only serves dates in the feast.
Sorry I don't mean to offend you or anything, I am just curious!
Your right. Walima is Sunnah and from the guy side. They don't HAVE to do it but they should and I assume we'll still do something like a family dawat or something, and distribute something in the masjid inshallah.
Thank you! Haha I know, but luckily I've only got a dholki and nikkah lined up, so not a whole lot of preperation to be done. Sounds like you're having to do quite a bit though, good luck to you girly! And the rest of the ladies on here, May Allah (swt) bless you all, Inshallah :)
Thank you! Haha I know, but luckily I've only got a dholki and nikkah lined up, so not a whole lot of preperation to be done. Sounds like you're having to do quite a bit though, good luck to you girly! And the rest of the ladies on here, May Allah (swt) bless you all, Inshallah :)
Let me faint for you!!
I cried a little thinking about my wedding at the end of june :( sniffley tears , even this morning i was walking to the tube station and i felt so sad thinking about my mum :( ... my brothers are lovely but they are never home. and my married brothers live have their own individual homes :(
my mum fusses over me as i am her only daughter its always us two watching star plus while my dad is doing his newspaper reading/ shouting at my other brother for getting parking tickets!
I cried a little thinking about my wedding at the end of june :( sniffley tears , even this morning i was walking to the tube station and i felt so sad thinking about my mum :( ... my brothers are lovely but they are never home. and my married brothers live have their own individual homes :(
my mum fusses over me as i am her only daughter its always us two watching star plus while my dad is doing his newspaper reading/ shouting at my other brother for getting parking tickets!
My brother is ALWAYS getting parking tickets!!! lol
Guys I need your advice! So I posted on this topic before like several times and now with the wedding approaching faster (i.e. 4 months) I need some advice that I can get through my head. So long story short, my rukusati is happening in July, I got nikkahed in May of 2009. Now my husband doesnt have any parents as both have passed away and has only one sister. The people who arranged us were really close family friends who helped raise him. At first, I tried to treat them like inlaws but they never really included me so I was like whatever and gave up. but now one of the women her daughter is getting 2 weeks before me. thus far the guy's side has done absolutely nothing besides book the walima hall. They are not involved at all and even though they said that would help out in both weddings, they really only are paying attention to the other girl. We gave them our dates 4 months ago and that girl's walima is the day before my mayoun. They were well aware of this and now they want us to move it. They were like make sure that your dress isnt completely red because its going to clash with the other girls. Its like wtf, at first your not involved and your not considering me at all. So what am I supposed to do?
How does your hubby-to-be feel about all this?
I would say forget them - do what you like, as you like, when you like. None of the events are on the same dates so you don't have to worry about ppl choosing btwn weddings, except out of town guests. But if they helped arrange this rishta as a guardian to the boy, then pulled back and didn't help out, AND they knew the dates well in advance and still booked their daughter's wedding near your dates, doesn't seem to me like they care to be reasonable or work with you so both events are great. I wouldn't get it mad it... you never know how that might affect your relationship with them in the future, and you don't want to offend hubby-to-be.
If they are worried about clashing dresses, tell them to change theirs as it doesn't bother you!
Guys I need your advice! So I posted on this topic before like several times and now with the wedding approaching faster (i.e. 4 months) I need some advice that I can get through my head. So long story short, my rukusati is happening in July, I got nikkahed in May of 2009. Now my husband doesnt have any parents as both have passed away and has only one sister. The people who arranged us were really close family friends who helped raise him. At first, I tried to treat them like inlaws but they never really included me so I was like whatever and gave up. but now one of the women her daughter is getting 2 weeks before me. thus far the guy's side has done absolutely nothing besides book the walima hall. They are not involved at all and even though they said that would help out in both weddings, they really only are paying attention to the other girl. We gave them our dates 4 months ago and that girl's walima is the day before my mayoun. They were well aware of this and now they want us to move it. They were like make sure that your dress isnt completely red because its going to clash with the other girls. Its like wtf, at first your not involved and your not considering me at all. So what am I supposed to do?
Shadis are high stress time and people say and do all sorts of things they wouldn't normally. Just keep things as is, and try not to stress or focus too much on their stuff. It'll be fine!
Your right. Walima is Sunnah and from the guy side. They don't HAVE to do it but they should and I assume we'll still do something like a family dawat or something, and distribute something in the masjid inshallah.
I would say forget them - do what you like, as you like, when you like. None of the events are on the same dates so you don't have to worry about ppl choosing btwn weddings, except out of town guests. But if they helped arrange this rishta as a guardian to the boy, then pulled back and didn't help out, AND they knew the dates well in advance and still booked their daughter's wedding near your dates, doesn't seem to me like they care to be reasonable or work with you so both events are great. I wouldn't get it mad it... you never know how that might affect your relationship with them in the future, and you don't want to offend hubby-to-be.
If they are worried about clashing dresses, tell them to change theirs as it doesn't bother you!
I hope things go well! Does your husband have any siblings or close cousins that live near him or in the same city? Are u in states? Where does your husband live? Is there anything us GS members can do to help with the arrangements?
My hubby to be doesnt really care that much about desi culture even though he is paki so he doesn't do much which is super annoying. And he does have one sister but even she is not making that much of an attempt. I did talk to one of the aunts who arranged us and I was like what is going on here? Mostly I talked to her about how I'm worried about my clothes being made. She said that she would talk to my hubby's sister and then get back to me. The hubby to be and I actually live very close together as we both live in Chicago. But his sister lives in pak and has no cousins in the states. I mean my parents are helping my hubby out too. They went with him to book the hall and helped with other stuff. But even though we can do stuff for his side, its still his side so there some stuff that we can't bring up with him. i.e. like jewelry and stuff. I mean most often the guys side does give some jewelry along with the girls side but I dont know how we're supposed to approach this subject with him. I mean Im not looking for jewelry, it would be nice to get it but its not necessary I guess. Sometimes Im really glad that I dont have inlaws but I miss them at times like this.
Aaaah! I cant imagine how frustrating it must be for you. I feel that your hubby needs to take more responsibility by finding out more of whats expected of him. May be the aunt can have a talk with him regarding this? That would make it easier for you and ur 'rents!
Im getting married this weekend, and I have been so sad since last night. Im moving away (I live in Canada, but after marriage Im moving to the states), and I just cant stop being sad now. I am very happy to be marrying my fiance, but I just feel so sad to be leaving my family. I dont want to be so sad, cause I know this is a happy time as well. and because Im so sad Im snapping at my fiance about things, and he is getting mad, but I just cant bring myself to say that I am sad, because then I start crying, and I hate crying in front of people. and i cant tell my mom how sad I am, cause she is really sad herself, I dont have any sisters, but a few of my cousins are staying at my place this week to help me out, and any time someone says something about me leaving, they all start to cry, so I cant tell them either.
Aww, don't be sad. I know its hard not to be emotional, and I'm sure I will be a nervous wreck, but you have to stay calm and just keep praying for the best. I'm getting married this summer and I think I've kept myself so preoccupied with work and shadi stuff that I havent really thought much about the moving away stuff yet.
You will miss your family, and they will miss you, but what they really want for you is to be happy in the new stage in your life iA. Good luck this weekend! I'm sure you'll make a dashing bride.
Im getting married this weekend, and I have been so sad since last night. Im moving away (I live in Canada, but after marriage Im moving to the states), and I just cant stop being sad now. I am very happy to be marrying my fiance, but I just feel so sad to be leaving my family. I dont want to be so sad, cause I know this is a happy time as well. and because Im so sad Im snapping at my fiance about things, and he is getting mad, but I just cant bring myself to say that I am sad, because then I start crying, and I hate crying in front of people. and i cant tell my mom how sad I am, cause she is really sad herself, I dont have any sisters, but a few of my cousins are staying at my place this week to help me out, and any time someone says something about me leaving, they all start to cry, so I cant tell them either.
I just needed to tell someone......
aww, I hear you. Pray and make lots of dua, inshallah Allah will put contentment in your heart and make this easy for you and make this new life a blessing for you and your family.
Reading your post made my heart squeeze lol,
take care of yourself
Im getting married this weekend, and I have been so sad since last night. Im moving away (I live in Canada, but after marriage Im moving to the states), and I just cant stop being sad now. I am very happy to be marrying my fiance, but I just feel so sad to be leaving my family. I dont want to be so sad, cause I know this is a happy time as well. and because Im so sad Im snapping at my fiance about things, and he is getting mad, but I just cant bring myself to say that I am sad, because then I start crying, and I hate crying in front of people. and i cant tell my mom how sad I am, cause she is really sad herself, I dont have any sisters, but a few of my cousins are staying at my place this week to help me out, and any time someone says something about me leaving, they all start to cry, so I cant tell them either.
I just needed to tell someone......
Know how you feel hun. I've been an emotional roller coaster myself. Sending you a big hug and a special dua. Its ok to feel all of this.... cry, laugh, let it all out. You're starting something new and you are totally allowed to feel all these emotions.
sure why not. We are all brides to be here