Well...problem isn't that they take a decision to delay it......the problem is that they whine about it too much and keep blaming others; society, parents, molvies, paki men, religion and whatnot.................... you take a stand...then take it.....don't go whine and complain later.......
PS: How lame that you still have to 'whine' like women about having debts and difficult study and whatnot...... everyone has those problems.......you chose a difficult path....now tread it....don't make excuses.
Well...problem isn't that they take a decision to delay it......the problem is that they whine about it too much and keep blaming others; society, parents, molvies, paki men, religion and whatnot.................... you take a stand...then take it.....don't go whine and complain later.......
Desi women who reach their 30's and still aren't married....of course they have to blame others. Otherwise they might have to consider the possibility that it's their own messed up personality/attitude and it's the way they treat others that might be a cause of eligible men running away. Even with advanced degrees and a high paying job, at the end of the day these women are still alone and don't have that one person to share their life with. Its easier to insult others and put them down for their choices rather than look within ourselves and think about what we're doing wrong that's preventing us from getting what we want.
I'm really taken back by all the hate that I'm seeing on this thread towards both women who get married early and women who remain unmarried at an older age. I'm 20 years old and am engaged to be married sometime next year inshAllah. I have an amazing fiance who happens to support my goal of receiving an education and going to grad school. I don't understand the assumption that if a girl gets married while she's still in school, she wont be able to finish her education. The two things are not mutually exclusive. And for those of you who think that after getting married I'll somehow magically change my mind and decide to become a housewife, let me straight up say you are wrong. Although getting married at the age of 20 isn't an ideal situation for me, it is what it is but it's never something that I viewed as a hassle in the way of me finishing my education. I know lots of girls who completed their degrees after they got married including my mother (let me specify that she got her degree in America so that there are no assumptions that she got her degree in Pakistan where it's "easy" for girls to go to college). Getting married was always a priority of mine and so was getting and education. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to get married just like there's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. What I don't understand is the attitude of girls of who don't want to get married and look down upon girls who get married or act like not wanting to get married somehow makes them superior.
I'm really taken back by all the hate that I'm seeing on this thread towards both women who get married early and women who remain unmarried at an older age. I'm 20 years old and am engaged to be married sometime next year inshAllah. I have an amazing fiance who happens to support my goal of receiving an education and going to grad school. I don't understand the assumption that if a girl gets married while she's still in school, she wont be able to finish her education. The two things are not mutually exclusive. And for those of you who think that after getting married I'll somehow magically change my mind and decide to become a housewife, let me straight up say you are wrong. Although getting married at the age of 20 isn't an ideal situation for me, it is what it is but it's never something that I viewed as a hassle in the way of me finishing my education. I know lots of girls who completed their degrees after they got married including my mother (let me specify that she got her degree in America so that there are no assumptions that she got her degree in Pakistan where it's "easy" for girls to go to college). Getting married was always a priority of mine and so was getting and education. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to get married just like there's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married. What I don't understand is the attitude of girls of who don't want to get married and look down upon girls who get married or act like not wanting to get married somehow makes them superior.
I doubt if there are a lot of women who reach their 30s and are unmarried because of their "messed up personality/attitude." In the arranged marriage setting, sometimes people *really *do not get too many proposals. What if you are living in, say, Japan or even North Dakota or some place like that where there are not too many desi families around who could aid in the whole match-making quest? Or, more likely, your family does not have a huge social circle or too many relatives who might come handy? Sometimes people can get a proposal or two early on but may not like some aspect of that and reject it thinking they would get better, which may or may not turn out to be the case. But we cannot blame a person for not settling, in their 20s, for less than what they think they deserve.
Also, many desi/Pakistani women face extraordinary constraints that a lot of other people, including desi men, don't. If those women are not getting 'rishtas' the old-fashioned way but are also not actively dating or looking for a partner from a different background or faith on their own either then they might be deferring to the expectations placed upon them by their family or immediate community. As such, if we were to apportion "blame" for their singlehood, not that it is any of our business, then we should not absolve those other parties too.
A single woman over thirty, IMHO, does not really need our derision or sarcasm or even pity. For all we know, she might have completely enjoyed her 20s and might be completely satisfied with the status quo, especially if she is educated and has a job or a career and therefore is not financially dependent on her parents. And if, at present, she does not have that "one person to share their life with" that does not mean she will not find that person at all. We never know when lady luck will smile on her.
paheli, buttsb and pcg have only made hurtful generalizations here about 30 yr old girls, pakistani society, pakistani men....it's hard to agree with you all