Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
So what if she's from the UK? Is this how the people in the UK are? Jesus Christ.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
OP...keep praying, talk to him, talk to your family, talk to his parents, if need be consider visiting his parents with your family, etc. Explore all options/possibilities n their consequences. Do not turn this into an ego competition of lemme dump him before he dumps me. You both were hasty going into the marriage, don't act hastily now and don't act out of ego.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Right because a guy who high tails it after seeing your stretch marks is a real keeper.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Whether the op’s decision is to get a divorce or whatever…it should be reached after much thought. It shouldn’t be decided hastily and in ego. That’s all.
Assuming "desi people" don't get married without their parents knowledge or concent is just plain ridiculous. If anyone one else in any other faith or cultural community can do it, what makes desis such saints?
OP keeps saying she thought he had changed and repeatedly is beating her self up for the mistakes she believes she's made. Like RV said, wagging your finger at her isn't going to help.
And, in my honest opinion, I'm glad she decided to give him the ultimatum of either marriage or walk your self home - rather than continuing a relationship in zinnah.
Ps, let's not forget no one, including ourselves, is perfect...
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Asalam mu alaikum sister, please get ruqya done on him, it could be black magic, one sign of black magic is fights between the husband and wife.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Desi ignorance doesn't need black magic to get fed. This isn't Jadoo. This is a simple case of poor decisions
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
a 23 year old thats slept with a 100 woman. wow! are you sure he doesnt have AIDS? i dont understand women who are so gullible..if a guy betrays you once, he'll do it again. sorry but you should've sought advice before marrying him.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
you got carried away in the moment thinking "oh he's back, it will work out this time"...been there, done that...its always the same and the cycle repeats itself. sometimes its better to cut loose and clean no matter how much it hurts but eventually you'll see it was better than the cyclical pain/heartache. you're better off trying someone new or patiently waiting. iA whatever's best for you
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Why not spend your time getting some education, learning some new skill or vocation, or being a productive helpful member of society? That way youll gain confidence of yourself and you'll have a low threshold of getting rid of these sorts of guys.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
As others have mentioned, you know you went wrong so no need to get into that again. Please learn from this mistake and do not go back to him. I don't agree with the others above who are telling you to do anything to try and work this out with him and get him to take you back. This guy is not stable.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Judging from her husband's actions...I think its best to be prepared for any scenario that comes your way. You should never be helpless or feel like you have no options. You always have options.
When I read the post itself...the only thing I can see is a man who is being brainwashed by his family...willingly. Meaning, he has forbidden her to come to him so he can listen to what his family is saying. Situations like those...its hard to say what will happen but its good to be prepared for the worst.
You never know...he might come back, fall to your feet and profess his undying devotion to you. But what if he doesn't? What if that doesn't happen?
Its good to be optimistic but don't be foolish. Practicality is your only friend.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Sorry to hear that u r passing thru such difficult time.i pray that things work out for u and u get all the happiness in life.u seem like an educated girl.just keep in mind Tht u have to be strong for urself and not depend on anyone for happiness
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Urgent help required. Unfortunately i was in a haram relationship with a man for 2 years on and off. He eventually left me for many reasons he is very suspicious by nature and as he has been out with around 100 women prior to me he finds it very hard to accept that im not like them ie smoking, drinking and sleeping around. ** **We broke up due to something I had said which he took to heart and after I seeked repentance from my heart and vowed to Allah I would never have a haram relationship with anyone again outside marriage.
A year later as in 2 months ago I met that guy by chance. He apologised for leaving me before and wanted to start a relationship. I refused and gave him an ultimatum he was either to marry me or we go out separate ways.
In my heart there was no way this man would marry me but he said yes and our nikkah was the next day, my parents knew his didnt. We stayed for about 2 months together after marriage. He was a perfect husband and i was very happy.
This is my 2nd marriage and his first. 2 days ago i returned to uk as I had some stuff to pick up in order to move back to his home country he became all distant and cold in the space of a few hours.
I prodded and he told me he wasn't very happy. His parents are very unhappy with the marriage, he told them as soon as it happened.
His mother wanted a young virgin girl for him not a married old woman, i am 25 he is 23. His dad says he is living with me in sin as the nikkah is invalid as my father wasn't present, my dad works abroad and there was no way he could come nor did we have any male relatives around but the imam said it was fine as dad had given permission. He also says i have had a child from my previous marriage, i have sworn by Allah that i don't, this is not enough but he is convinced as i have stretchmarks on my legs and his experience tells him so.
I have told him to call my ex husband and ask him even offered to go with him to the doctor because they usually can tell. He is refusing. This man was having marital relations with me just 2 days ago how how does one change so quickly?
He now thinks we dont really have a future because he cant live with me and these suspicions he wont let me go back to him the UAE and has said if i do without his permission i am not his wife.
He is unhappy with how the nikkah ceremony was carried out even though we both organised it at home, he said he wanted a small function i dont know how within the space of a day I was supposed to have arranged that, basically nikkah is tarha nahi hotay, because only my mum and sisters were there and a number of other male witnesses, even though he organised the imam and stuff, I apparently blackmailed him into marriage. He says now cannot live with me and didn't want things like this.
He is considering divorce. I have no idea what to do, maybe it is a punishment for the relationship i had with him prior to marriage. It will devastate my parents they are really happy and have told everyone, its only been 2 days since ive got back. When i am with him he is perfect and we are really happy but the second we are apart he just changes apparently he has time to think. his excuse for not letting me come to him is that I blind him and dont give him a chance to think because he loves me so much and we carry on as normal.
Does someone have any advice for me on how to tackle this there is no one I can talk too and its really affecting me. I have told him to do as he wishes because he is not listening to any of my solutions and hes asked me for a few days to think, but i know him and i know he will leave me. I pray 5 times and alhamdulillah i have full faith on Allah but is there anything I should be doing?
One word you've been duped: Saudichildrenleftbehind
Shame on You UK Pakistanis who worship Arabs...
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Urgent help required. Unfortunately i was in a haram relationship with a man for 2 years on and off. He eventually left me for many reasons he is very suspicious by nature and as he has been out with around 100 women prior to me he finds it very hard to accept that im not like them ie smoking, drinking and sleeping around. ** **We broke up due to something I had said which he took to heart and after I seeked repentance from my heart and vowed to Allah I would never have a haram relationship with anyone again outside marriage.
A year later as in 2 months ago I met that guy by chance. He apologised for leaving me before and wanted to start a relationship. I refused and gave him an ultimatum he was either to marry me or we go out separate ways.
In my heart there was no way this man would marry me but he said yes and our nikkah was the next day, my parents knew his didnt. We stayed for about 2 months together after marriage. He was a perfect husband and i was very happy.
This is my 2nd marriage and his first. 2 days ago i returned to uk as I had some stuff to pick up in order to move back to his home country he became all distant and cold in the space of a few hours.
I prodded and he told me he wasn't very happy. His parents are very unhappy with the marriage, he told them as soon as it happened.
His mother wanted a young virgin girl for him not a married old woman, i am 25 he is 23. His dad says he is living with me in sin as the nikkah is invalid as my father wasn't present, my dad works abroad and there was no way he could come nor did we have any male relatives around but the imam said it was fine as dad had given permission. He also says i have had a child from my previous marriage, i have sworn by Allah that i don't, this is not enough but he is convinced as i have stretchmarks on my legs and his experience tells him so.
I have told him to call my ex husband and ask him even offered to go with him to the doctor because they usually can tell. He is refusing. This man was having marital relations with me just 2 days ago how how does one change so quickly?
He now thinks we dont really have a future because he cant live with me and these suspicions he wont let me go back to him the UAE and has said if i do without his permission i am not his wife.
He is unhappy with how the nikkah ceremony was carried out even though we both organised it at home, he said he wanted a small function i dont know how within the space of a day I was supposed to have arranged that, basically nikkah is tarha nahi hotay, because only my mum and sisters were there and a number of other male witnesses, even though he organised the imam and stuff, I apparently blackmailed him into marriage. He says now cannot live with me and didn't want things like this.
He is considering divorce. I have no idea what to do, maybe it is a punishment for the relationship i had with him prior to marriage. It will devastate my parents they are really happy and have told everyone, its only been 2 days since ive got back. When i am with him he is perfect and we are really happy but the second we are apart he just changes apparently he has time to think. his excuse for not letting me come to him is that I blind him and dont give him a chance to think because he loves me so much and we carry on as normal.
Does someone have any advice for me on how to tackle this there is no one I can talk too and its really affecting me. I have told him to do as he wishes because he is not listening to any of my solutions and hes asked me for a few days to think, but i know him and i know he will leave me. I pray 5 times and alhamdulillah i have full faith on Allah but is there anything I should be doing?
Listen Lady,
I have been through all of this and I am 100 % sure its not his mum its nobody else its HIM who is no more interested in this relationship. If no one could force him not to go for this Nikkah, no one should be able to change his mind now. These sick and coward paki men use name of others as "majbori" to cover their own weaknesses. He might be seeing someone else already. They dont involve their parents so that later if they go back to home as "sharmanda" his mother would welcome him with open arms saying "mera masoom bacha" who was trapped by some "Faahisha, divorced Bi***". This is our sick culture and this is how some sick woman have raised these pycho men who would sleep around even with donkey in the street but want a 16 years old "Labeled" virgin girl ( doesnt matter if she already slept with many guy but since she is not divorced neither married socially so she is virgin)
You better wait and watch and dont do anything against what he has said. Give him a little time and if its what I told you...he him self will walk out of this relationship. At least than you wont regret that it was You. Be strong, you deserve a better perosn.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
I feel sorry for any woman who has stretch marrying a man like this, what an idiot. I say leave him and move on, you can do alot better. You only live once in this life, and if it's meant to be you will find someone better. Why continue your life with someone that will give you so much greif.
Unfortunately, my sister was in a similar situation and she had the opportunity to leave him, as he was arguing with her within 3 weeks of marrriage, unfortunately, she did not leave this guy. She has two girls now, and they are not happy and continue to argue. I feel sorry for the girls, and my sister could have moved on had anyone, i pray to god she finds peace, she did not deserve this.
pm me if you need to talk x
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
I'm sorry you have to go through this. May Allah give you strength during this tough time, and may HE guide you to what is best for you.
My 2 cents: I believe that all women are stronger than they think they are. He has already shown what kinda man he is, and maybe this is a chance given to you to run for a better life before its too late. Don't just stay with him to please others. You have options because you don't have kids yet. So think of all the possible options before making any final decision.
Like anyone else, you deserve to be happy and have a good life. Don't let him take that away from you.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
I have been through all of this and I am 100 % sure its not his mum its nobody else its HIM who is no more interested in this relationship. If no one could force him not to go for this Nikkah, no one should be able to change his mind now. These sick and coward paki men use name of others as "majbori" to cover their own weaknesses. He might be seeing someone else already.
This.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
To address some of the points u made, it was done I admit i made a mistake rushing things caught up in the moment, he was leaving and my father could not have made it because I told him the day before and it is rather impossible. As for his parents having a right to know they are his parents and it his duty to inform them I was not going to phone them up and say oh btw im divorced and im marrying ur son tomorrow.
As for the situation an how it came about nothing could have been changed, ur scolding me like a child i am a qualified lawyer and yes I messed up because im human and thats what humans tend to do.
I came on a public forum to get a fresh unbiased perspective on things.
Id like to take this moment to thank a few members on here for their suggestions u were really helpful!
I performed ruqya myself and the results were amazing within a few hours he is back to normal and I fly out in a couple of days. Amazing how Allah gives us such simple cures.
May Allah bless u all in this blessed month and guide u to the straight path.. ameen.
Re: 2 months after marriage Husband wants a divorce
Asalam mu alaikum sister, please get ruqya done on him, it could be black magic, one sign of black magic is fights between the husband and wife.
What is Ruqya?