**Urgent help required. Unfortunately i was in a haram relationship with a man for 2 years on and off. He eventually left me for many reasons he is very suspicious by nature and as he has been out with around 100 women prior to me he finds it very hard to accept that im not like them ie smoking, drinking and sleeping around. **
We broke up due to something I had said which he took to heart and after I seeked repentance from my heart and vowed to Allah I would never have a haram relationship with anyone again outside marriage.
A year later as in 2 months ago I met that guy by chance. He apologised for leaving me before and wanted to start a relationship. I refused and gave him an ultimatum he was either to marry me or we go out separate ways.
In my heart there was no way this man would marry me but he said yes and our nikkah was the next day, my parents knew his didnt. We stayed for about 2 months together after marriage. He was a perfect husband and i was very happy.
This is my 2nd marriage and his first. 2 days ago i returned to uk as I had some stuff to pick up in order to move back to his home country he became all distant and cold in the space of a few hours.
I prodded and he told me he wasn’t very happy. His parents are very unhappy with the marriage, he told them as soon as it happened.
His mother wanted a young virgin girl for him not a married old woman, i am 25 he is 23. His dad says he is living with me in sin as the nikkah is invalid as my father wasn’t present, my dad works abroad and there was no way he could come nor did we have any male relatives around but the imam said it was fine as dad had given permission. He also says i have had a child from my previous marriage, i have sworn by Allah that i don’t, this is not enough but he is convinced as i have stretchmarks on my legs and his experience tells him so.
I have told him to call my ex husband and ask him even offered to go with him to the doctor because they usually can tell. He is refusing. This man was having marital relations with me just 2 days ago how how does one change so quickly?
He now thinks we dont really have a future because he cant live with me and these suspicions he wont let me go back to him the UAE and has said if i do without his permission i am not his wife.
He is unhappy with how the nikkah ceremony was carried out even though we both organised it at home, he said he wanted a small function i dont know how within the space of a day I was supposed to have arranged that, basically nikkah is tarha nahi hotay, because only my mum and sisters were there and a number of other male witnesses, even though he organised the imam and stuff, I apparently blackmailed him into marriage. He says now cannot live with me and didn’t want things like this.
He is considering divorce. I have no idea what to do, maybe it is a punishment for the relationship i had with him prior to marriage. It will devastate my parents they are really happy and have told everyone, its only been 2 days since ive got back. When i am with him he is perfect and we are really happy but the second we are apart he just changes apparently he has time to think. his excuse for not letting me come to him is that I blind him and dont give him a chance to think because he loves me so much and we carry on as normal.
Does someone have any advice for me on how to tackle this there is no one I can talk too and its really affecting me. I have told him to do as he wishes because he is not listening to any of my solutions and hes asked me for a few days to think, but i know him and i know he will leave me. I pray 5 times and alhamdulillah i have full faith on Allah but is there anything I should be doing?
yea it might devastate you and your parents now. But it’s only been 2 months. And it’s much better to wrap things up early than to drag it out for another 2 years with repeate threats.
I actually stupidly thought he had changed, for many factors clearly I was mistaken, i cant pack up and leave because hes threatened me with divorce if I turn up there without his permission.
