This is not going to turn out well. LOL One day she might hate all pakistani men, because this foo took advantage of her.
"Fools" dont take advantage of other people
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
^ :k:
think back to how mature u were at 18 n how u “loved” a gurl in college n ghomofyed in the entire campus with a rose in ur hand so u cld ask her out but sadly one day she got married to someone else n now her kids call u mamu!
this is what happens at 18!!!
would u ever run away to nigeria cuz u met a gurl online n u fell in love with her at the age of EIGHTEEN???
Nmi this coming from u who’s married to his degrees even in his LATE twenties..disappointment! :hinna:
Im not pessimistic, u r immature 
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
ooo gooo CG! :AID:
^^Oh the self-righteousness. Rest assured no one keeps their mouth shut in matters like these. **The khandan walay would most probably urge her to consider, if she has not already, the consequences of her decision but that is pretty much all they can do. **If your adult sister, or relative or whatever, has made a decision, and is determined to marry someone of her choice, it is better, even if you don't completely agree, to give her your best wishes than to ostracize her. .
Dunno, y ur being so melodramatic, I've never mentioned anyone being ostracised. Bit in bold was my point yet strangely all the guys on here are making out they would be fine with it. As if they'd would be happy with their sisters going off to some African country to marry a guy she had met on the internet lol
Oh, and yeah divorce isn't such a big deal in normal circumstances but it's hardly normal if there are kids involved and mum and dad are in different countries (Islamically dad normally gets custody whilst in western countries the opposite is true so what happens then?? Just one example of possible problems.. it is nowhere near as easy as ur trying to make out)..
Reminds me of the Imran and Jemima situation.. good intentions but too much for the woman to deal with, even tho she was flying back to London on a regular basis (and even after she converted to Islam which I don't think that NZ girl has done)..
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
we can worry as much as we want about this couple but at the end of the day, i don't think any of us know either of these people personally so we can't tell them how we feel or what we think they should be doing. if either of them were in it for the wrong reasons, they will regret it later and that's something they'll have to deal with.
would i be okay with it if my best friend decided to run off to china to marry someone? probably not, but if she feels it's the right thing to do no matter what i tell her, i have to respect that decision. as stupid as i might think it is, i still have to be there for her and help her later on whether she's happy or not.
last thing- who says people aren't mature at 18? one of my friends got married when she was 17 and is still very happy with her decision 4 years later. there are 14 year olds that have the maturity of a 40 year old (no, i'm not saying 14 year olds should get married!) and there are people that are 50 that still act like they're 10.
Dunno, y ur being so melodramatic, I've never mentioned anyone being ostracised. Bit in bold was my point yet strangely all the guys on here are making out they would be fine with it. As if they'd would be happy with their sisters going off to some African country to marry a guy she had met on the internet lol
Oh, and yeah divorce isn't such a big deal in normal circumstances but it's hardly normal if there are kids involved and mum and dad are in different countries (Islamically dad normally gets custody whilst in western countries the opposite is true so what happens then?? Just one example of possible problems.. it is nowhere near as easy as ur trying to make out)..
Reminds me of the Imran and Jemima situation.. good intentions but too much for the woman to deal with, even tho she was flying back to London on a regular basis (and even after she converted to Islam which I don't think that NZ girl has done)..
Dunno, why you are being so obsessed with what the brothers here would or would not do.
As I have said divorce is a perfectly acceptable option, unless the girl is staunch Catholic, which I doubt. It is good that the NZ girl has not felt pressurized to convert; she would not feel compelled to abide by Islamic injuctions, whatever they are, should she choose to opt for divorce. In any case, Islamic laws cannot be enforced in a non-Islamic country. Since the guy decided to move to such a country, he would have to abide by the family laws of the land as well, even, and as is likely, they might prove detrimental to him in the case of divorce.
Ok, so just because, as you claim, you got rishtas from "many of them" you became expert on the mentality of Pakistani men. Nice. I am sorry I know a few such people myself but none of them has been afflicted with a "going overseas" bug. Could it be that they are well off enough to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle in their own country or that they are well educated? I am certain that such a well educated person, no matter how "desperate", can apply for immigration to NZ-or, for that matter, Australia and Canada-and get it. Marrying a gori/desi settled overseas is hardly a requisite for a life of bliss abroad!
Eighteen year olds are not so immature who can be easily taken advantage of. Heck the guy was not even present in the country to be able to threaten retribution if she did not marry him. Hopefully she considered the pros and cons of making her decision but the fact remains that she married him because she CHOSE to. Besides, since the girl in question is reasonably beautiful, I think it is ridiculous to assume that could have found no one in her native country to "talk to/make her feel beautiful."
Yes, I got rishtas from many of them, from very different backgrounds. Even very wealthy guys in Pakistan would do anything to go overseas, it's not that easy as you assume it to be. My point is SHE IS 18! She doesn't know what she's doing. HE is 27! He knows exactly what he's doing and that is taking advantage of her. I don't know how old you are but 18 year old girls are very immature these days. They think every guy that comes and shows a bit of compassion loves them. It's not about being beautiful, it's about finding someone that understands you. Why do you think so many girls go meeting guys online, because they're fed up with the guys around them. I'm only saying, they both got something out of this. He's 27, and looking at the videos, he seems lower middle class, he seems like he needed some sort of ticket overseas, she was that ticket.
Yes, I got rishtas from many of them, from very different backgrounds. Even very wealthy guys in Pakistan would do anything to go overseas, it's not that easy as you assume it to be. My point is SHE IS 18! She doesn't know what she's doing. HE is 27! He knows exactly what he's doing and that is taking advantage of her. I don't know how old you are but 18 year old girls are very immature these days. They think every guy that comes and shows a bit of compassion loves them. It's not about being beautiful, it's about finding someone that understands you. Why do you think so many girls go meeting guys online, because they're fed up with the guys around them. I'm only saying, they both got something out of this. He's 27, and looking at the videos, he seems lower middle class, he seems like he needed some sort of ticket overseas, she was that ticket.
I don't know how can you pass sweeping generalizations even if curiously you had the misfortune of encountering desperate people seeking rishtas. As I said before, I know many "wealthy guys in Pakistan" contend with their lives there, as well as people from relatively humble backgrounds who migrated abroad capitalizing on their own educational merits alone. Also there is no dearth of people, from similar backgrounds no less, she could have met online who would be just as willing to shower her with "compassion."
Was her decision extraordinary? Yes. Was she being completely naive? We don't know. Of course, they both got something out of it, but it is not necessarily a "ticket overseas" for the guy. We can sit and speculate endlessly about the shortcomings/ulterior motives of the guy but the fact remains that she herself chose to marry him. Should the guy turns out to be evil or she finds out that it was a transient infatuation that struck her she can always opt out of the marriage. Such a decision, I am sure, is both acceptable and uncommon in the country in which she lives.
ditto :k:
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
you're just creating a very broad stereotype about what kind of people pakistani guys are. are there lots of guys who would do anything to come overseas? yes. but i know just as many guys that are going to school in the states and canada that can't wait to go back home and work there. and this girl obviously isn't stupid. she knew what she was getting into by going to lahore, and more power to her! she willingly lived in a foreign country for 6 months, and that's a lot more than most pakistani girls i know who just visit for 2 weeks every other year and can't wait to get out of there. unless you know the guy or girl personally, you can't really say what their motives were.
last thing- i'm a "desi girl" (now i have the song stuck in my head..) and i think i'm okay with what they did. maybe it's because my parents are from different cultures, maybe not. either way, worrying about their wellbeing isn't going to change the situation.
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
Let's not fight shall we? :)
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
^ Agreed. Some people here instead of logically defending arguments, resort to casting others as dim-witted. What an irony.
:)
:k:
^ Agreed. Some people here instead of logically defending arguments, resort to casting others as dim-witted. What an irony. :)
I logically defended my argument. And excuse me i think this is the 3rd post you've made about my not so logical argument. Now does that make you "dim-witted" or me? I said what I felt and you chose every opportunity to label my arguments as not logical. My whole point in this argument is that yes, she got married to a guy from lahore, great, all the best to them but she's 18. I'm around her age, and forget about knowing what guy i'm going to marry, I don't even know what outfit I'm going to wear tomorrow.
Eternealbluemoons- Yes i know guys that can't wait to go back home but i also know guys that are looking for girls to marry over here because their student visas are about to expire. And same thing with girls. I love my country and I'm willing to spend 6 months to 6 years for the person I love and trust me, I have. I'm not against Pakistan, but in this situation, I felt what i said (considering the age difference, and meeting a guy over the internet) seemed best fit.
Re: 18 yr old New Zealander goes to PAK to marry a Guy!
and i agree completely with you about the internet part! in any case that is strange. i'm not sure how you can truly love someone when you've never been in their physical presence, but what's done is done. hopefully things will work out for the best for them!
My whole point in this argument is that yes, she got married to a guy from lahore, great, all the best to them but she's 18. I'm around her age, and forget about knowing what guy i'm going to marry, I don't even know what outfit I'm going to wear tomorrow
just because you don't relate to it does not mean that all 18 yr olds feel the same way and are immature (your words) some are pretty mature and ready to make big decisions about their life. there was a thread here not long ago, about 18 yr olds getting married among desis and an overwhelming majority thought there was nothing wrong with it, that age is not benchmark for maturity. you can look it up if you like.
I logically defended my argument. And excuse me i think this is the 3rd post you've made about my not so logical argument. Now does that make you "dim-witted" or me? I said what I felt and you chose every opportunity to label my arguments as not logical. My whole point in this argument is that yes, she got married to a guy from lahore, great, all the best to them but she's 18. I'm around her age, and forget about knowing what guy i'm going to marry, I don't even know what outfit I'm going to wear tomorrow.
Excuse me. I NEVER called your argument "not logical." You can make your point; others can make theirs. That is the purpose of a discussion forum. Not everyone can or has to agree with everyone else.
It was your post in very poor taste- that thankfully now has been removed- to my respectful rejoinder (read above) that prompted me to write that it is better to logically defend an argument than to stoop to personal attacks.
Don’t make it personal. Really.
Eternealbluemoons- Yes i know guys that can't wait to go back home but i also know guys that are looking for girls to marry over here because their student visas are about to expire. And same thing with girls. I love my country and I'm willing to spend 6 months to 6 years for the person I love and trust me, I have. I'm not against Pakistan, but in this situation, I felt what i said (considering the age difference, and meeting a guy over the internet) seemed best fit.
discussing logically and "Practically"-Its not that these girls and their parents are blind.If an international student is getting something,then the girl is also getting something in return.If this guy is getting to stay here ,she is also getting security and a hard working guy.Its not a one way traffic.If the guy's bargaining power is low cause he is living alone in a distant land,short on money then may be the girl is a high school graduate or a divorcee or other short comings.Trust me,in the end it almost works out grt for every one involved in their preceived scenario.....!
just because you don't relate to it does not mean that all 18 yr olds feel the same way and are immature (your words) some are pretty mature and ready to make big decisions about their life. there was a thread here not long ago, about 18 yr olds getting married among desis and an overwhelming majority thought there was nothing wrong with it, that age is not benchmark for maturity. you can look it up if you like.
Not many 18 year olds would marry someone they meet for the first time or someone they've met over the internet. That in my sense is not very mature. He could have been a freaking rapist or something. She was lucky that he wasnt. The age is not my point, the age difference is the key issue. He's 27, he took advantage of her, end of discusiion.