18 and marriage?

[Reha]

Re: 18 and marriage?

@madinahme

He says he wants to get married so he is saved from committing sin and I understand. My finace and I got our nikkah done at 19 because my Dad didn’t want us to engage in talking/meeting in engagement so I’m all for the “marriage while young” but you need to have some sort of balance in your life. I have money and can support myself, while he can’t.
It’s not about money either because he could simply get his nikkah done and have rukhsati later on, but is it possible that few years down the line he doesn’t want to be married anymore or his personality changes. I’m almost hoping that no parents will give him their daughter at this stage but I know he knows that it’s possible because he wants a pious girl, no matter who or where she is from.

I’m trying hard by trying to explain things nicely but I end up getting angry over the phone and then he just stops talking.

Khalil Khaan faakhta - He isn’t anti social but my family doesn’t “like” the way he’s become. I guess they are annoyed with his behavior of doing purdah from them and the whole no music/tv etc. I agree that he needs to loosen up a bit, without going against Islam.

Reha - good point made about being pious but not being able to fulfill his islamic duties, will def. try and explain that to him.

He can get married now…he may find a 17 year old that is a junior in high school. Islamically, getting married young is not wrong. Taking on the responsibility of someone knowing full well you cannot fulfill it IS wrong. The rights of a wife on her husband are such that a dependent man cannot possibly take care of them. So what is conclusion? Marry when you are capable.

Also, I dont know of any families that are willing to give up their 17 year old girl to an 18 year old boy who doesnt have anything figured out for his future yet. She can be pious but since when did religion start to mess with common sense? What girl will want to enter a marriage knowing she will be fully dependent on her FIL for everything as her husband is not capable yet?

When the bills start piling up…things get ugly. Money does not make a marriage…but it can definitely break a marriage.