My younger brother is 18 years old. Few years ago, he was a troubled teenager always getting himself into trouble, and then he went to an Islamic school and completely changed his life around. When I say change, I mean living his life completely according to Islam. Ofcourse this has made him into a better person, but there is very few people who he associates with because he no longer speaks to female cousins, friends etc. and his old friends are no longer his good friends anymore due to him being that way. I am happy for him because he now seems content with his life rather than before
Currently he is residing is another country because he went to a boarding Islamic school to become an aalim. He calls me often and says he wants to get married and he is dead-on serious. My Dad is not the type to stop us from doing what we want and he prefers marriage at young age for both girls and guys so he isn’t against the idea but doesn’t really take my brother seriously because he is only 18. I am basically the guardian for my younger brothers because my Mum is mentally ill. I can convince and get my brother married if I wanted to, but I don’t want that because he is 18, he has no income, he has only completed his grade 10 so far. I’m also afraid that this may be just a “faze” for him and he might get over it and then not want this for himself anymore.
My question is, should I support him and help him get married? I am one of the very few people he actually talks to.
My younger brother is 18 years old. Few years ago, he was a troubled teenager always getting himself into trouble, and then he went to an Islamic school and completely changed his life around. When I say change, I mean living his life completely according to Islam. Ofcourse this has made him into a better person, but there is very few people who he associates with because he no longer speaks to female cousins, friends etc. and his old friends are no longer his good friends anymore due to him being that way. I am happy for him because he now seems content with his life rather than before
Currently he is residing is another country because he went to a boarding Islamic school to become an aalim. He calls me often and says he wants to get married and he is dead-on serious. My Dad is not the type to stop us from doing what we want and he prefers marriage at young age for both girls and guys so he isn’t against the idea but doesn’t really take my brother seriously because he is only 18. I am basically the guardian for my younger brothers because my Mum is mentally ill. I can convince and get my brother married if I wanted to, but I don’t want that because he is 18, he has no income, he has only completed his grade 10 so far. I’m also afraid that this may be just a “faze” for him and he might get over it and then not want this for himself anymore.
My question is, should I support him and help him get married? I am one of the very few people he actually talks to.
My family went through the same phase....one of my cousins after having starting his bachelors in business admin, suddenly moved towards religious studies and started the crap like.....meray kwaif pooray karain, islamically i am elligible to marry and should have been married. he is 27 now and still unmarried as .....no decent parents will agree to marry their daughter with someone who doesnt earn himself .
Discuss the disadvantages of getting married at this age with your brother like not being able to support the wife and children well, not being able to have a happy married life and wife not being satisfied and happy because of poor living standards... Also advise him that because of his lack of education and job, he might not get a desired match... Hopefully he will understand...
Thats a tough situation, if someone wants to get married they should be supported. But then surely he knows that it is an Islamic obligation to be able to financially support a wife before getting married. If he is afraid he may commit zina then he should fast often and say more prayers. Maybe you could try and find a girl that is willing to financially support him untill he finishes his studies.
**i think he has some underlying problems because Islam does NOT make u anti-social. one can be very religious and yet be functional. he is 18 and he is legally allowed to marry but as u said he soesn't have a job so he must wait until he is able to afford a family. i think, since he is young, he wants to have a Halaal relationship and hence wants to marry [marry early due to his religious inclinations...its encouraged in Islam to marry as soon as u can afford a family]...
...i think u must talk to him and tell him to finish his studies, get a job and then marry. at this time, given his age and unemployed status, i do NOT think a good girl from a good family wud want their daughter to marry him due to lack of income and his tender age. **
Thats a tough situation, if someone wants to get married they should be supported. But then surely he knows that it is an Islamic obligation to be able to financially support a wife before getting married. If he is afraid he may commit zina then he should fast often and say more prayers. Maybe you could try and find a girl that is willing to financially support him untill he finishes his studies.
Make him understand that he should be able to support a wife before being married, that includes providing shelter, food and clothing among other things.
Maybe you could try and find a girl that is willing to financially support him untill he finishes his studies..
Yep there are lot of matured and financially stable teenage females who would be more than willing to marry an uneducated , unemployed teenager and support him all the way. Try desperatedesibrides.com
Yep there are lot of matured and financially stable teenage females who would be more than willing to marry an uneducated , unemployed teenager and support him all the way. Try desperatedesibrides.com
Well he may have to marry someone a little older, you never know, I would have supported someone if I really liked them.
HOWEVER, he needs to be in a position to support his wife and family...Islam also talks about a wife's expectations from her husband...her rights. If he prays five times a day, has a beard down to the floor but cannot fulfill his basic Islamic responsibilities towards his wife and family...what kind of a Muslim is he? What he is asking for is also Islamically wrong because he is in no position to take on the responsibility of another human being. Use Islam because that is important to him.
Furthermore, what would your mother have done? Think from that perspective because you are now his guardian/parent...you have to guide him and stop him from making bad choices now.
HOWEVER, he needs to be in a position to support his wife and family...Islam also talks about a wife's expectations from her husband...her rights. If he prays five times a day, has a beard down to the floor but cannot fulfill his basic Islamic responsibilities towards his wife and family...what kind of a Muslim is he? What he is asking for is also Islamically wrong because he is in no position to take on the responsibility of another human being. Use Islam because that is important to him.
Furthermore, what would your mother have done? Think from that perspective because you are now his guardian/parent...you have to guide him and stop him from making bad choices now.
no decent parents will agree to marry their daughter with someone who doesnt earn himself .
Not necessarily. Some relatives of mine in the UK (very religious) married off their 18 year old daughter to an 18 year old guy. They were supported by the guy's family and went to uni together.
Muslims have been marrying at a young age for centuries and an 18 year old is considered an adult under Islamic law, so I see no problem in your brother wanting to marry. He could live with your father until he can support himself. He has made good decisions to make himself a better person, and marriage is just one more step on that path. By marrying the right person, he could make his faith even more stronger and live a happy life. He should be fully supported.
