I know it was pretty normal in our parent’s generation but is 11 years too much of a gap for an arranged marriage proposal nowadays, bearing in mind things like he wants to start a family straight away and she is very career-minded?? The guy is 38 and the girl 27.. Girl’s dad isn’t very keen because of the age difference but her mum is (I think she just wants to get her married asap)..
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
we all know its not a big ONE
when every body okay its seem its ok
I heard its very difficult in pakistan to findout a suitbale RISHTA
Forgot to say they're in the UK..
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
They're both old enough. Not much changes after 27.
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
my parents have 11 years difference....!! :D but that 20 years ago ki baat!!
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
numbers lie.
mental compatibility is what matters ...
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
Age does not matter as long as there is open communication and understanding between both.
If this is going to be the complete arranged marriage route, where they meet each other twice before nikkah, then that's not a good idea.
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
If the girl was 24 and the guy was 35 I would've said No but then she's 27 and still not married so she may aswell. However, I wouldn't marry someone with such a big age gap.
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
^huh? why does her being 3 years older suddenly change things?
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
For me if she is 20 and he is 30, that's a big difference. Because a lot changes between 20 and 30, and it is very easy for him to do what he wants by making his wife a bewaqoof, and she wont know any better.
But 27 year old women are more mature. They have had a little more experience with life to know how to protect themselves.
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
No. Its not a good idea. All trolling aside, I was born in the 1980s. My cousin's kid was born 10 years after me in the 1990s. There is a huge damn difference in our outlooks line life and what we consider to be acceptable for a future.
Now this guy is born in the 1970s and she in the 1980s. You know how much in Pakistani culture has changed since then? Age absolutely matters, because it denotes our growth as human beings and more important what era shaped our "tarbiyat".
I for one will never have my sister marry a guy that is older than her by more than 5 years. 11 years is pathetically absurd.
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
In Pakistan , its fine . Because women need security and I think a person of this age can provide that .
In America . Its different . Everyone is independent and main reason of marriage is not security .
No. Its not a good idea. All trolling aside, I was born in the 1980s. My cousin's kid was born 10 years after me in the 1990s. There is a huge damn difference in our outlooks line life and what we consider to be acceptable for a future.
Now this guy is born in the 1970s and she in the 1980s. You know how much in Pakistani culture has changed since then? Age absolutely matters, because it denotes our growth as human beings and more important what era shaped our "tarbiyat".
I for one will never have my sister marry a guy that is older than her by more than 5 years. 11 years is pathetically absurd.
so that puts you in early to late 20s (or approachin 30).... vs early to late teens...ur rite that is a huge difference, but after a certain age, it doesnt seem to matter as much.
I would have considered an 11-year-older rishta but only if i liked him. :D
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
i think it depends on wat the girl thinks about him..plus u have to see how he looks too.lol!
i personally would say wat mam ki dua has said..she is 27 ,n lives in the Uk where gettn a gud ristha is pretty tough these days..so may be she shud go for it.
i met a guy for the shadi business who was like 6 yrs older but OMG he looked it,and more than that,just by havng a 15 min conversation with him i realized that he is too mature n too clever for me...but then if i had been 27,I would have had the same thoughts n the same maturity level so it would have been a possibilty.
^huh? why does her being 3 years older suddenly change things?
For me if she is 20 and he is 30, that's a big difference. Because a lot changes between 20 and 30, and it is very easy for him to do what he wants by making his wife a bewaqoof, and she wont know any better.
But 27 year old women are more mature. They have had a little more experience with life to know how to protect themselves.
Stoppit my answer lies within PCG's post :) Plus when you're 27 you're closer to ur 30s whereas a 24 year old is closer to her 20s. The 27 year old sounds quite old to me :o so she may aswell marry the 35 yr old. This is only my opinion, you don't have to change my opinion on that :)
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
Absolutely no problem even if the difference was 15 years or more.
The age difference between couples is irrelevant and what really matters is what kind of married life they eventually live and enjoy. It is based on individual circumstances.
One marries someone with age difference of two to three years can still have terrible married life and someone marries with a difference of more than ten years still have a great married life.
Numbers don't mean anything as long as at the time marriage, both were legally, mentally and biologically adults.
I do not know any study or research which would prove beyond any doubt and reservation that the compatibility or incompatibility between man and woman is based on their ages. Just not possible.
Now socially and culturally one may has to limit the choices and that is another issue.
Re: 11-year gap for marriage?
Yeah ok, diwana. We'll talk when your 15 year old daughter gets a proposal from a 30 year old man, and then we'll see how long it takes for your brain to explode.
For me personally the MAXIMUM gap I'd go for is 3 years.
Don't know but makes sense for me.
Shrug.
Yeah ok, diwana. We'll talk when your 15 year old daughter gets a proposal from a 30 year old man, and then we'll see how long it takes for your brain to explode.
PCG you are very predictable. I knew the question was coming.
In these days likely chance of this kind of proposal is close to being negligible due to social circumstances let alone being accepted.
Getting a proposal and accepting it are two different things.
Again, the age difference between husband and wife has no meaning on individual basis. Socially/culturally it may not be a good idea to have a large difference.
[quote="PyariCgudia, post:3, topic:216272"]
Yeah ok, diwan