…pressure on my head to get “ARRANGED” married. Sh*t ..i mean growing up in canada, I never expected this but its coming my way very fast. What to do? Where 2 run? What da hell happend to the dreams of me bumping into and falling in love with that perfect pakistani girl?
Should i just let it be or run away from this situation and keep living in the life that I life? How has marriage changed your life? Has anyone been in a situation like this where they didn’t expect arranged marriage but it just happened!?
hmm… i’ve KINDA been in that situation and tug of war is still on .. i was actually in a middle of a relationship that was GONNA get serious but family’s arranged thingy got in way .. and still is ..
eventually i think it will come to the point where i will be old, and i will simply adopt some young kid off family and announce my wealth to him/her like the two buzurgwaarz in my situation in family
LOL this story sounds so familiar… I too am being pestered by family to get married altough my parents have given me the option if I find somone (u know paki in all) let us know and we will work sumthin out… but its hard to find the “perfect” pakistani guy.. it seems that they are either all taken, not in Edmonton, or are in hiding… so belive me ur not alone in this boat… Just thought I’d let you know
There's no such thing as perfect. That's the first thing you need to realise and accept.
I don't think your parents will just marrying you off Furqan ... they probably want you to start meeting girls. There's no harm in meeting girls they are introducing you to ... you could always say 'no' if you aren't interested.
Give up on the Bollywood dreams and face the reality. It's highly unlikely that Miss Perfect would fall into your lap, so you may as well let the parents find Miss She'll Do.
I agree with MehnazQ on her thoughts that your family might be just trying their best to find a girl for you not forcefully pressurizing u. You shouldn't hesitate to meet the girls that ur family suggesting Unless you already have someone in your mind that you think is the right one to be married with.
Like Barfee suggested that even after meeting all the girls you still feel uncomfortable then Do Not marry the girl. I have heard many times that a guy or a girl fall in love REALLY after gettin' married...well if you think you can do that then marry any girl and wait for the magic to happen. But if you are not that type of a person then let your family know that you are not ready as of this moment.
I have seen and met many guys that first THEY *pressurize their parents that they are ready to get married and their family should start lookin a girl for them and once family does the lookin' guys get freaked out and start worrying about not findin the RIGHT *girl.
*Dude simple advice: *
If you like someone and you want to get married with her then be open about her to your family
If you don't have anyone in your mind and you don't want to take a chance on your family's choice then just say NO and keep on doin wat you are doing.
Last but not least, take a chance with your family's choice and try fallin in love with that particular girl.
Lastly, It ALL depends on you buddy how to tackle the problem here. Its your situation and your decision. No one can better decide than yourself!
hmm Furqan I don’t think any family can pressurize Guys specially to marry any girl they want. Mehnaz said it right, ur family must be just opening the doors for you to look out for girls on yourself since you can’t find the perfect girl on your own.
Don’t hesitate to look into any girl. Sometimes you might like something in one girl and another thing in another girl. Finding a full package nowadays in both guys and girls is hard. You might find someone who is physically attractive but not be too comparative psychologically or vise versa.
Have your options open and look around more until you finalize your decision. When don’t like anyone then be honest about it with your family to prevent the regression afterwards (lol, seriously I am a bad person to advice on such topic). Just one thing, if you were unable to find a perfect girl for yourself in 25/26 yrs of ur life, what makes you believe that you will be able to find it in next 5 yrs..?
If I were you, I wouldn’t mind considering family options unless I have someone/something else in my mind. I wish my parents would pressurize me to get arranged marriage…they are not even considering me to get married now ..lol
Good luck ghadhay in any decision you make…remember Allah (s.w.t), seek HIS help and HE will seek YOU out, insha’allah:hug: don’t worry come If can’t find anyone girl in Canada…come to carribean
meet the girls, one of them may be your mizz perfect, moreover your parents won't have reason to complain. it would help if you only decide to marry when ur mentally prepared to do so and understand what marriage entails.
Should i just let it be or run away from this situation and keep living in the life that I life? How has marriage changed your life? Has anyone been in a situation like this where they didn't expect arranged marriage but it just happened!?
just be honest n tell them after growing up in a non desi country in a non desi environment among non desi people dont expect me to follow desi traditions suddenly.
why not explain wat ur wishes n aims are?treat them as friends and they will listen to u.
tell em its ur life n they shud wait for ur decision wen u consult them for advice.truth is bitter but it is the truth.
i’ve KINDA been in that situation and tug of war is still on .. i was actually in a middle of a relationship that was GONNA get serious but family’s arranged thingy got in way .. and still is ..
like the two buzurgwaarz in my situation in family 
..lol
anytime yar..