ladies,
share your thoughts, if you like.
khood kuma ker pheno ya honeye waley kahvind kee kumai sey, kiya farek ?
pehnna chiyeye itna mehgha zeiver?
best,
Dushwari
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
If you never had to wash dishes again ever
then it would work either way. Otherwise
that's a little too much for just one set of balian aur kangan.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
10 thousand dollars?
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
tiffany is in 10,000 and $.
but even in Pakistan and Arabia, gold is pretty expensive these days and when you see people desiring and demanding gold from their husband to be, it is not right.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
tiffany is in 10,000 and $.
but even in Pakistan and Arabia, gold is pretty expensive these days and when you see people desiring and demanding gold from their husband to be, it is not right.
I am not a lady but I agree with you Dushi :@:
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
unfortunate anecdote.
i've seen uneducated women who demand gold.
because that is what they are taught.
as a woman myself, it is saddening to see.
there is a whole social ideology of wrong behaviors which is allied to this trend.
which i will go into some time later.
in any event, one day, little brother, you will become a husband. may Allah bless you with a spouse who care for you and not seflishly for own wealth through you.
amen. :>
Dushwari baji
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Ameen 
Adding to what you said, if a person in sincere and follows Islam, I guarantee you that you wouldn’t even see all these wedding with useless things which are not even necessary: MaiyyoN, Engagement, 5-10 lakh reception etc etc
Why don’t we use this money in something useful after marriage so that we can benefit from it?
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Sorry if you feel that those 10 lakhs come back but I never saw it happen 
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
hum hein la jawab,
people dont because people believe in show off.
you can be rich or well to do at least, but that does not mean that you need to show off.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Exactly. They want to spend lakhs and lakhs why? Because they want to show something to the world and prove that they have more money than others
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Sara516,
as a lady myself i would not say that women and men as brides and grooms are not supposed to dress nice on wedding day, or have a decnt dinner, but the extra vaganc, the wasteful super flouous decor, rasems whcih are not even Islamic or x number of invited people is a lot of expeense which simply goes away as soon as the wedding dinner is over.
yes, what if that money was not wasted but saved for maybe even a house of the newly wed.
just a thought. :>
Dushwari
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Ok here is the go.....
I am an only child. For the past 20 years My family has been attending wedding from simple to elegant. Some families having more than once child means attending two or three wedding. For each of these wedding we bought them a present at our expense and eat a meal at their expense. So when I hear stuff like you should not go extravagant over weddings reffering to my scenario is I believe that me giving an more than simple wedding means i am compensating for all of those people whose weddings I have attended. I do not think it is fair that one attends wedding where they pay in hotels by the head and when it is my turn i settle for saadgi and simpliticy.
Does this make sense will try and edit it later. ..........
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
^ that makes perfect sense.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
Ok here is the go.....
I am an only child. For the past 20 years My family has been attending wedding from simple to elegant. Some families having more than once child means attending two or three wedding. For each of these wedding we bought them a present at our expense and eat a meal at their expense. So when I hear stuff like you should not go extravagant over weddings reffering to my scenario is I believe that me giving an more than simple wedding means i am compensating for all of those people whose weddings I have attended. I do not think it is fair that one attends wedding where they pay in hotels by the head and when it is my turn i settle for saadgi and simpliticy.
Does this make sense will try and edit it later. ..........
With all due respect to you, it does not add up because when I was talking in my previous post, I was talking from Islamic point of view. And Dushi knows that as well and understood that. Otherwise, you can even have wine and alcohol at social gatherings and even that will make sense.Wedding is not a give-and-take deal, where if you has attended one wedding worth 15 lakh rupees, you also have to give a similar one. You do not have to waste lakhs just to show someone or just because the wedding you went to had it. Now if you look at this from Islamic point of view, the matter will stay the same. We can make million excuses as to why spending a lot on weddings is helpful and how 'saadgi' doesn't work in today's time but the fact will still remain there. Having said that, if a person takes out the 'islamic' part from it, then one can do whatever he/she wishes.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
tiffany is in 10,000 and $.
but even in Pakistan and Arabia, gold is pretty expensive these days and when you see people desiring and demanding gold from their husband to be, it is not right.
Yes ofcourse it is not right jo hai us kaa hisaab bhi ALLAH ke haan jaa ker dena hai.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
With all due respect to you, it does not add up because when I was talking in my previous post, I was talking from Islamic point of view. And Dushi knows that as well and understood that. remain there. Having said that, if a person takes out the 'islamic' part from it, then one can do whatever he/she wishes.
I definitely agree with HHL .....if u consider shadi as a give n take event u would be doing that in every aspect of life loving those alot who give u a lot and not giving love to those who cant afford to give u anything???dus that make sense is that fair??
jahan tak 10,000 ki baliyon ka case hai if its 10,000 dollars though i would be happy to get em as a gift frm my hubby i wouldnt ever pressurize him to buy em fer me i wouldnt even by em myself....10 K rs chalaiga ;)
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
well, i’m offended- we had a really nice wedding. we spent quite a bit of money relative to everything else in our lives. we had around 100 guests and we did splurge on the food, the location, the flowers, our venue, the musicians, the invitations - and i don’t consider us unislamic for doing so. i consider us human beings who were happy to celebrate a really imporant day in our lives.
we didnt get married to prove to people that we know how to spend money or that we know how to throw a party- we got married because we loved one another and we had a wedding because we wanted to celebrate our union together. every bride and groom has the right to get married as they will without people imposing their own views and throwing water all over their celebrations and excitement. if you’re such a great judge of people and can already tell that their wedding is simply for the sake of show, then why attend? if you walk in and see that show and you’re so freakin’ disapproving of it, then leave. i’m sure you’d be the bigger person for standing by your own principles, right?
its one things to have an opinion of how YOU would do things, and thats fine, but ts an entirely other thing to force this opinion on people and criticise their personal choices in favour of your own, not to mention rude. nobody on here is going to tell me my wedding was needlessly extravagant or that i should have better used that money for charity- charity has its own time and place, and personal celebrations have theirs. and how on earth can you assume that charity is missing from our lives or our wedding day simply by attending our wedding?
and WHY does this whole charity thing only appear during weddings? if you live in a house thats more than 1 bedroom, than i think you’re being extravagant because there are lots of people in africa who live in NO BEDROOM houses. oh no! so by your logic, you’re being wasteful, and you need to give up your other three bedrooms and spend all that money you save on charity. and stop driving when you could give all that gas money to charity and use transit instead.
sorry, ladies, but this topic and how often it keeps recurring just ticks me off. i really don’t think its up to anyone to dictate how someone else should or should not celebrate, especially since you don’t know their true motives and just assuming something, especially something negative, isn’t cool.
we had a great wedding MA and IA our marriage will also be great, and neither one of us regrets for one second the money we spent. it was a special day and it deserved special treatment. if you can afford it, and if you want to, then you have every right to have your own special day. and if you can’t afford it, and you still want to, then you still have every right to have your special day at whatever cost you think is reasonable, even if you’re in debt afterwards, because its a personal choice.
as for the $10,000 baliyan, well if i could afford them, i would buy them for myself. and i would greatly enjoy wearing them, i’m sure. but no, i wouldn’t force my husband to purchase them for me, nor would i go into debt for them.
Re: 10,000 kee balian ya kangen
I completely agree, weddings are for the brides and grooms (well mostly for teh brides, anyway) not to show off to other people. I had a nice wedding MA and it was because I wanted it like that. I was the eldest and it was the first wedding of our family!!
Also wen it comes to kangan or baliyaan, I wud absoluitely buy it from my own money. I love gold and buy it all the tyme, it is not a matter of price, I’ve never asked my hubby to buy anything for me.
For anniversaries and birthdays he might get me gold or diamonds because he knows that I like jewelry, not because I’ve asked him for it!
If somebody is pressurizing hubbys, bf etc to buy expensive things , or things that they can’t afford, beleive me there is something wrong with that relationship!!!