Zindagi phir na kisi morr par ley aey mujhey...

[Amal]

Re: Zindagi phir na kisi morr par ley aey mujhey…

@chacha_Ghalib

the word “nahin” in misra-e-saani of the 4th couplet doesn’t seem fit. if u change it with “na”, i think it will work better.

Thanx a lot for the appreciation chacha_Ghalib ji So nice of you And also many thanx for the suggestion. The original copy has been corrected Umeed hey aap aagey bhi reh-numaai farmaeiN ge

@Anwaar Qureshi

I had to read it again to get into the metaphorical thought process you have used in the poem… pehlaY jaldi maiN sarsari saa paRhaa thaa… aur reply kar diyaa thaa… it was amazing to read it again…
**

Thanx for giving it a second chance Anwaar :~) Thanx for your time and appreciation. I am obliged

@Anwaar Qureshi

…for me, cream of your poem is the following sher.. I know maqta is good but for some reason, I found this one more striking and beautifully sad

meri shikast ke parcham sey sab sabaq seeikheiN
merey mazaar ki chatt par koi lehraaey mujhey

You are bang on target Anwaar This is my personal favrouite from this ghazal. It delayed the ghazal for two days. Somehow I was unable to capture the concept of this sheir by remaining within the confines of the cadence. Though still not entirely satisfied, I guess it still conveys the basic idea