Zaroorat-e-rishta & Playing cupid

Lifestyle Relationships
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Playing cupid generally speaking ..it’s not something I like doing, it can blow up in your face quite badly speaking from personal experience.

Anyway so i met this pretty well educated mid 30’s desi female " S ", lived at home working in a well paying job but was normally quite cut off from the desi community ..at a desi community party.

The mixed group I was with ended up talking about marriage and many of the unmarried gals were saying how hard it was to get introduced to guys.

S made a comment about how “I bet if I’d studied in Pakistan I’d have found someone by now..after awhile you start thinking somethings wrong with yourself and that you’ll be alone for the rest of your life”.

Afterwards I sorta felt bad for her, so a week later I enquired around from a few family friends..a friends elder brother had been looking to settle down. He was well educated had a decent job, was well travelled and from a decent family that lived locally..

I checked with his family if he’d be interested in being introduced to S ..they were fine with it..

So I called up S and offered to set her up, she asked for a bit of info about the guy..her response?

  1. The guy was too old (the guy should be her age or younger)
  2. He’d travelled about ..so sounded “azad”
  3. His family sounded old fashioned
  4. She’d prefer someone of a similar profession

To be honest I was shocked, ..talk about unrealistic expectations..if you look at marriage as purely a transaction it’s not just about what you want..it’s about what you have to offer? If you see it in terms of commitment, sacrifice, love and all that jazz so why go for a checklist?

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Re: Zaroorat-e-rishta & Playing cupid

its hard being a cupid. but it was nice of you to help her, but don't take it to heart. I realize the more you do or look out for people, the more likely you will be blamed if something goes wrong. if she has a major checklist, then maybe that's why she is still looking, so hopefully she'll understand the concept of marriage and then get married. Introduce people if you want and then just leave them to figure it out themselves.

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Re: Zaroorat-e-rishta & Playing cupid

well the lesson to be learned is that just because someone may seem like a "bechara" to you, doesn't necessarily make them one.

chances are, that of the many reasons why a person might be in a seemingly "difficult" position, it usually can be traced to the consequences of their own actions (or inactions).

dang these wisdom teeth are really kicking in :)

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Re: Zaroorat-e-rishta & Playing cupid

thanks for the comments..I agree someone appearing bechara doesn't mean they are,. Now when I think about it you only find out the truth when they get some power so when S did have for a moment power to decide she had a wish list.

@MM thanks..I think if i do try setting up anyone I'll do exactly that

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Re: Zaroorat-e-rishta & Playing cupid

@takhalus-I know someone who is looking for a rishta, smart girl.. can you PM me your information or information about the guy and I can forward it to her?