why do people think they can just walk all over you then act like nothing happened, but when you treat them the same way it’s a different story? ^o) Is it really hard to get into someone’s shoes or people do by purpose or they don’t want to bother??
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People should get a taste of their own medicine, however, islamically, it's best to live and let live. Have sabr, that's always the best way, people will be dealt with by Allah for what they do. Sadly most of us forget that, even myself, but we should teach ourselves patience.
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what exactly happened?
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@** Hareem** nothing special has happened, I just observe these sort of situations these days where people stop caring about what they do/speak and when it comes to their own matters they become soooo different and hyper. i often think that the thing which is called "EHSAAS" has just died in us and then we claim that we are all good and nice to others.
I agree with you** Disney Princess **but practically It's really hard to treat those people nicely who have done something wrong to you and then they expect to get some nice treatment whenever they get into the same situation pheww... Don't you think we should not treat them nicely just to make them realize about their past treatment?
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why do people think they can just walk all over you then act like nothing happened, but when you treat them the same way it's a different story? ^o) Is it really hard to get into someone's shoes or people do by purpose or they don't want to bother??
1) You can't say that all people are like that. Some do reflect upon and realize their past mistakes....when karma comes around or when they are dealt with in the same way. But yes....there are some people who are obtuse and can't make the connection between the misery they're going through and their own similar past actions.
2) There is a theory that we have inner psychological defense mehancisms to protect our egos. For example, blaming someone else for your wrong actions as a way to protect your ego. So, they ignore their conscience when they treat people like dirt.....they try to mentally justify their behavior to themselves.....and then later on....they try to justify or "rationalize" to themselves that they did nothing wrong.
3) I've seen people who have way too much pride and saying sorry or admitting that they're wrong is the HARDEST thing for them to do. They'd rather get you a present or come up to you and start a friendly conversation....."as thought nothing ever happened".....and that's kind of like their apology. They can't say "sorry"....and they hope that if they pretend things are all cool....that maybe you'll join along with them and forget about things.
^We can't tolerate it if we get treated in the same manner...because i think it's human nature to be more protective when it comes to our ownselves. Perhaps the difference is that some people make more of an effort to treat others the way that they would like to be treated.
Those are just some guesses I have as to why people act that way. Actions speak louder than words....so it's better to be cautious. And it also helps to reflect over your own actions......to try and figure out where you are going wrong.....perhaps reflect over why you let people walk all over you and think about ways to prevent yourself from getting hurt in the future.
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Lots of people are just chavals.....you can't figure out why usually.
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I agree with you** Disney Princess **but practically It's really hard to treat those people nicely who have done something wrong to you and then they expect to get some nice treatment whenever they get into the same situation pheww... Don't you think we should not treat them nicely just to make them realize about their past treatment?
You have to be the bigger person, if you don't retaliate, it would make the other person feel bad, and in that way they will realise their past treatment of you. I know this is harder said than done, but we are taught in Islam to act like this and we should all strive to be like this. Like all those people that retaliated against the Prophet Muhammed (saw), and the Prophet (saw) just remained calm and collected, after which those same people then came to Islam.
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You have to be the bigger person, if you don't retaliate, it would make the other person feel bad, and in that way they will realise their past treatment of you.
Or they might end up loving the ego boost and might think of you as being weak or an easy target and might never realise their wrongdoings because everyone puts up with their behaviour. Sorta like the Quraish of Makkah?
I know this is harder said than done, but we are taught in Islam to act like this and we should all strive to be like this. Like all those people that retaliated against the Prophet Muhammed (saw), and the Prophet (saw) just remained calm and collected, after which those same people then came to Islam.
Yes but there is a limit. There was a reason for the battle of Badr. The muslim army at the time was no match for the Meccan army yet they stood up for themselves in defense when they had had enough.
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^ The Battle of Badr was very different from our day-to-day general issues. Most of the time, it's one making a snide comment about another in an indirect manner, and the other person automatically wanting to seek revenge. In such cases, I think we can sort this issue out amicably, either talk to the person, or just leave that person to be punished by Allah. However, if worse comes to worse, then you might need to treat the person the same as they treat you, until they realise their wrong-doings.
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for these type of Ehsaas se aari people i become emotionally unavailable ,.
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one must keep everyone [except family] on a leash...pull the string when they pull it too far :)
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***There is no excuse for such behaviour…best policy is to ignore them and if they are overstepping their boundaries give as good or they get this false impression of their own "consequence " :k: