^ ur story reminds me... when i went on my honeymoon i left all my jewelery and cash gifts with my saas (some my parents had taken home with them), wheN i came back she made me count all the money and the things to c if they were there, even though i had no reason to, i trusted her with everything...
Some women just don't have any conscience that they stoop so low as to steal someone else's things, doesn't matter if they are a MIL DIL SIL FIL PIL LIL KIL ZIL NIL CIL GIL etc its an atrocious and despicable act.
Only my closest relatives and cousins saw my jewelery and clothes. Me and my parents did not think it was a good idea to show stuff to everyone. also we paid for the jewelery but never brought it home until the last few days before I was leaving Pakistan. My mom emptied the boxes and put the jewelery separately in bags that would not be taken to contain jewelery (many people have been robbed in Karachi leaving jewelery stores). Everything went right into a safe deposit box in my bank after the wedding.
people's motivations to steal and their character are not in your control but you can take preventive measures to make the act of theft less easier for them.
Its sad though, for someone not to be able to even trust their own family (I mean husband’s family as your own family), I hope none of us ever have to go through that. I have left all my jewelry and large amounts of cash with my MIL tons of time and alhamdulillah have never once suspected her in the least least of anything at all, to me it is the same as if I had left it with my own mother. I cant even imagine what it must do to someone’s relationship if they cannot even trust them on such a basic level
Things like that happen at times, and its not only the relatives its also the other guests who are a bit closer and you show them the stuff and the next thing you know some of the stuff is gone...at times the masis too steal...My mother kept some really nice stuff for me..like kapras, saris she got from India, Bangladesh etc when i was a teenager and the whole dabba went missing from the attic :s clothes which had such nice embroidery...very unique.. i still feel sad when i think about that stuff because i used to begg my mother to get me similar stuff for normal days..
Worse is if someone actually accuses someone of stealing when they absolutely did not, I don’t know which one is worse though, falsely accused or actually knowing someone stole your stuff.
[mod] Sorry- this is not a warning but just a reminder that let's stay on topic of 'stealing' since the poster wants honest opinions. I have moved the 'nand' posts to a seperate thread.. feel free to discuss it there :D [/mod]
Speaking of stealing stuff, don’t display it to anyone.
Noone in my family was shown my clothes.. except my khala, phoophi and my mom’s friend.. I took them to my room and showed them all my stuff, jewelry, etc.. because I am close to them.. but no cousins or friends. I was very particular about the fact that I did not want to display my shaadi clothes, jewelry or anything because alot of times nazar lagjati hai. My husband’s stuff along with his families’ gifts were also wrapped up and given to them quietly.. my family is not into sho shaa or having some sort of exhibition. My mil didn’t ask to see either, not even the nikkah jora or the baree stuff which she had paid for. Khair later on when I wore it, everyone saw how it was.
I remember we went to Pakistan once and there was a mehndi going on in my grandfather’s neighborhood. You won’t believe it but the girl had gotten so much stuff from her parents including car and what not.. and every single thing, and I mean every single darn thing was displayed in the tent they had set up.. even iron, kitchen stuff, oven and whatever else she got. It was like a free invitation ke daaku aao aur sab loot kar lejao
in my family we usually show the stuff, it's not so much a tradition as it is all my family wanting to see the stuff. so my aunts and a few cousins all saw the clothes and jewelry. right after we had gotten all the jewelry together a few days before the wedding, i was like mom, we dont really have to show it to everyone do we. and she said she would ask my grandma who said we would have to show it to my grandpa's bros and sis. so on the day of the mayon they got to see all of the jewelry, nothing else.
we also showed stuff we got for our in laws to my aunts, grandma, grandma's sister, and a few cousins. we're a pretty big family but pretty close and everyone had a big role in the wedding prep so there was no way i would even think of not showing my aunts what was gonna be given to everyone. on the morning of the wedding, we had set up everything for my inlaws in my room (we were living at the hotel) i went away cuz my grandma kicked me out of the room saying they arent supposed to see the bride till the wedding. then the inlaws came in and saw what each of them was getting, and made off with their respective bags. then my inlaws had set up another room with things they were giving me and all my aunts, parents etc went to see that. but everything was really close family and not some distant relative.
the only time we were really afraid of anythign being stolen was when we were showing the jewelry to my dads aunts and uncles on the day of the mayon, and thats why we had my mom, grandma and a chachi at the table. they basically took a suitcase with the jewelry and put it up on the table for 20 min, afterwards grabbed it, put it back in the suitcase and brought it back to my room. and the entire time we kept all the jewelry in the hotel safe where there is security so there was no real threat of anything being stolen.
obviously the best thing to do would be only show it to a few people that are close to u. other than that dont risk having it stolen and always keep the jewelry in a safe preferably in a bank. ive heard about cases of thieves coming into a shaadi house and stealing all the jewelry from there.
be careful of hired help, especially temps. they could be perfectly honest but there is an equal chance they could be dishonest.
an unfortunate bride's heavy wedding zevar got stolen the night of the mehendi. they assume it was the waxing wali as she was the only one who was in their washroom (where the zevar was in the closet) to wash her hands after she had done the bride's waxing.
the bride had to wear udhar ka zevar from a cousin as it was so last minute they could not possibly have gotten another wedding set.
^omg that must have been so awful for her. to be super excited to wear all this beautiful stuff and then have to ask someone else for borrowed bridal jewelry! i feel bad for her.
my two sets of churiyaan dissapeared from the house we were stayin in , i do not know who to blame as there were lots of ppl , kaam waalis , relatives , cousins
they were onli kaanch ki chooriyan bt they were beautifull sets matching with my heavy suits.
oh well whoever has it will hve to answer on the day of judgement.
One of the precious things we lost is our Valida Day pictures :(
Actually at the end of Valima function when photographer left his camera and stuff at the table to get a glass of water, someone steal the camera. Although camera+lense were quite expensive (around 200,000 Rs in 2001) but for us, pictures were more precious and there is no way we can do the ceremonies again!
I can't believe people would be so cruel as to steal from the bride or groom on their wedding day, it happened to me. I got married in Pakistan and it was my first trip there after 11 years. Nobody told me to be careful about keeping my stuff safe. On my wedding day I had a gold ring stolen that my mum had bought for me, my mobile phone, most of my cash from my purse and on my walimah i had my husband's wedding gift to me (a gold necklace)stolen :(. No one has full proof, but the girl that did my makeup is suspected, and the worst bit is that she's my mamoo's sister in law.
