i think a maximum period of one year for an engagement is ok. it's better to be engaged for even a little while in my opinion because at least u have that time to communicate with one another and get to know each other. like someone said above if u discover that you're not compatible the engagement can be broken off rather than getting married straight away and then going through that initial period and then discovering you don't actually like each other very much. in my family nobody had engagements a generation ago. when the time was right the rishta was fixed and the marriage was conducted as soon as possible whereas now even the elders in my family and especially in pakistan have come round to the idea of engagements. they mind there being a gap between the rishta being fixed and the marriage taking place and they don't really have objections against the girl and guy talking to each other and getting to know one another during that period. of course most of this is irrelevant if ur having a love marriage lol
I think its really nice to have an engagement period. The perfect time frame would be 6-7 months
It's just a very sweet and cute time in a couples life...and you get to know the person a lot better without the pressure of marriage. And if its arranged...you need icebreakers!!!
lol funky_chicken, you are really sweet. I feel like an immature baby most of the time, and it is too much of a distraction! Not good when trying to complete my degree! I don't mind the not being friends thing, if you get what I mean, but it would be nice to have some indication that he cares. My friends often get 'but what if he doesn't like me thoughhhh?' lol, I think they are runnning out of consolling things to say. I think insane is the word, I am sure I used to make all the rules at home, but now I am always in an unsure limbo!
Mashallah, you sound as though you guys get on really well, and it is nice that you know how he feels about it too! How is it going to work with you guys, are the parents thinking to get you guys engaged anytime soon? Is that how things work in your family?
Maham, are you getting engaged soon? Some parts have been fun, really, it isn't that bad. I think I have made it take over my life by overthinking it all the time. It is interesting to see how things work differently with everyone.
well, ahem. he lives in london and i live up north. we were introduced by a rishte wali aunty and my parents really liked him. i of course was a nervous wreck when he walked in, heart beating, felt like dying there and then. he then spoke and a big ginormous bell went of in my mind. i'm a sucker for a guy who can speak good urdu, and oh my days is his urdu gorgeus. anyway, my mum really liked him and he met my dad. things started to progress. he got in touch with me on facebook and we started to get to know each other on there, sending each other messages blah blah and i ended up really liking him. he talked to my mum a few times, met my sister and my bro in law and they really liked him aswell. all this time he didnt come for the whole baat pakki thing and to be honest i'm glad he didnt. its given us the chance to get to know each other and see what we're both like. this whole situation has been going on since late july/early august and i really thought he would loose interest and end up liking someone else, but that hasnt happened, thankgod. and now hes going to come inshallah in a few weeks to talk to my dad. he is such a wonderful guy mashallah, and even though i'm not engaged or married to him, i feel like i own him like hes mine and no one else can have him. its really weird. anyway, we dont really do the whole engagement thing so i think it will be baat pakki then in a few months shaadi time. wooohoo.. lol.
I think its really nice to have an engagement period. The perfect time frame would be 6-7 months
It's just a very sweet and cute time in a couples life...and you get to know the person a lot better without the pressure of marriage. And if its arranged...you need icebreakers!!!
well, ahem. he lives in london and i live up north. we were introduced by a rishte wali aunty and my parents really liked him. i of course was a nervous wreck when he walked in, heart beating, felt like dying there and then. he then spoke and a big ginormous bell went of in my mind. i'm a sucker for a guy who can speak good urdu, and oh my days is his urdu gorgeus. anyway, my mum really liked him and he met my dad. things started to progress. he got in touch with me on facebook and we started to get to know each other on there, sending each other messages blah blah and i ended up really liking him. he talked to my mum a few times, met my sister and my bro in law and they really liked him aswell. all this time he didnt come for the whole baat pakki thing and to be honest i'm glad he didnt. its given us the chance to get to know each other and see what we're both like. this whole situation has been going on since late july/early august and i really thought he would loose interest and end up liking someone else, but that hasnt happened, thankgod. and now hes going to come inshallah in a few weeks to talk to my dad. he is such a wonderful guy mashallah, and even though i'm not engaged or married to him, i feel like i own him like hes mine and no one else can have him. its really weird. anyway, we dont really do the whole engagement thing so i think it will be baat pakki then in a few months shaadi time. wooohoo.. lol.
awww sounds sweet :) i hope everything works out for u... now maybe u should change ur avatar :p