at the end of the day is this just something decided by fate and already written by Allah that one really does not have much control over?
Is it better to just pray for the best and not stress too much about it?
Re: Your spouse
Yes this!!
Another wedding. Another few hours as men and women gawk at me. Another few interrogations as to when I'll be married.
As if a woman isn't worth anything until she is married.
They ask about college and degrees as if they really care. When really they're itching to ask why I'm not as settled as their happy daughters are.
I wish they understood qadr. I wish they understood that sometimes it's not about school or choice or anything. Sometimes it's just the wisdom of Allah. That maybe I'm meant to do so much else first. Maybe I'm meant to cause a rift in society, to start a revolution, to innovate, to create, to inspire. Maybe I have more written for me before marriage. Maybe marriage isn't the purpose of my life.
Just as it never really is the purpose of anyone's life.
The purpose is to worship Allah in every possible way you can. From qiyaam to sadaqa to writing and studying and sharing and spending time with family.
IF YOU DIED TONIGHT. Being married and not being married isn't really going to make a difference. All you're taking is your deeds. And maybe a righteous spouse means they'll be making dua for you and giving charity in your name. But a righteous friend can do just the same.
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This is something i read...i always ve same thought....feel like to share with you
Re: Your spouse
Yes, it is true that especially females are treated that way; having to be married and to have many children. As if there is no other purpose in life for females. It's fine if someone wants that and is happy with it, but it shouldn't be imposed on everybody. We're all different people and all have different choices and/or fates.
We have the old sayings that matches are made in heaven, etc. Or that a good woman will get a good man, that an evil man will get a an evil woman. I especially don't believe in that last one. There have been too many cases of one of the spouses being a decent person yet getting a very nasty or an evil spouse. As far as things being foretold, some say that yes, it's all written so what's going to happen will happen no matter what. Yet, if that was the case, then why do we have djannat and djahannam? You go to one of these after making certain life decisions, which means there is certainly choice. And what would the use of these and praying for a better life be if all outcomes were decided before the events taking place anyway?
What is already known by Allah, being the Creator after all, and thus written about things going to take place in the future are still events going happen because of decisions we make. They are written because Allah knows what we will decide. Yes, sometimes it is ordained that something must happen in a certain way for whatever reason, but mostly it's all because of what we ourselves decide.
So praying is useful and important to have a better life. More so being a female in our culture. People can claim whatever they want, females with better lives can claim that 'everything' is better nowadays for females because their own life is amazing, well great for them, but even then there are still far more females with a troubled life or who have to overcome tremendous problems because of family or tribal or social or national culture. Being a female in our culture, even for those are born and raised in the west, still is a vulnerable position to be in, from all aspects. (going to school, people wonder if you have boyfriends there, being seen talking to just a class fellow with whom you have no romantic relationship or interest what so ever but still getting in trouble because of that, refusing a rishta which makes people angry and some even accuse you of having a boyfriend while you just don't like the rishta, in many cases not even being allowed to refuse a rishta, if you are married now everybody demanding you immediately give birth to at least one boy, or if you still aren't married as in the case of the thread starter, people making a problem out of that while there isn't even a problem and you yourself personally don't mind, etc.)