Alright, so my concern is divided into three parts 
a, how much involved are you in your siblings lives
b, Do you think the number of siblings matters when it comes to sharing the responsibility or helping a particular sibling in need, and
c, to which extent you think you can go to help them, and how do you think if the spouse objects you being helpful to the sibling that needs you in the hour?
Dont tell me to make it more easier. Jawab nai dena te na deyo 
thanks 
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
no paragraph…too many questions…i can’t do it ..even if i want to 
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
Alright I dont know how to write Eeenglish 
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
Subscribe.
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
so many questions @_@
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
:) i hope it makes sense now.
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
Alright, so my concern is divided into three parts
**aww
I’m sorry
**a, how much involved are you in your siblings lives
We live together so a lot I guess.
b, Do you think the number of siblings matters when it comes to sharing the responsibility or helping a particular sibling in need, and
Well I only have one sister so I guess not. We help each other as much as we can.
c, to which extent you think you can go to help them, and how do you think if the spouse objects you being helpful to the sibling that needs you in the hour?
I would do anything for my sister, I would even give her my kidney if she needed it. He would be in trouble if he got in between my sister and I. I would help his siblings as much as he would help mine..
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
I only see him once or twice a week due to work and so on and now he's a grown man and married we don't have much influence over his life and decisions at all (that is mostly up to them as a couple imo).. If he needs help tho of course as a family we're here for them both and will do whatever we can..
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
Hmm.
A. Quite involved, but only in some things. We all are quite independent people, we work and have have our own friends and interests so we don’t get in each other’s way, but we do spend a lot of time together as well.
B. Yes. Not because of numbers, but to show solidarity from all the siblings. But it depends on circumstances.
C. I’d probly help them as much as possible. Personally, I wouldn’t marry someone who had a problem with my relationship with my siblings, they’d have to have a valid reason to object.
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
a) very involved…as involved as one possibly can…i make calls almost everyday to one of the siblings without fail, alHamdolillah! we are well connected and well informed…my 4 siblings are in India…i had 5, one of them passed away recently!
b) yes, my mom passed away at an early age of 45 and we were like 7 siblings and we all did our shares to run the house smoothly. i was 9 at the time and i remember taking care of my two younger sisters. we help each other in EVERY possible way as they say in Urdu:
help with: daame, dirame, suKhane!
c) ALL the WAY! i’ll let my to-be-wife KNOW this well…i am ready to lay my life for them…i mean it literally! i’ll NOT hesitate to give ALL i have to help them…i know one fact also that they have EXACTLY the same feelings for me!
ok?
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
how beautiful, the way you all feel for your siblings. But what about those of you who are married? Since my query was for the married people basically.
So, does anyone believe life "changes" after marriage? How does it affect your relationship with your siblings, if anyway :)
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
how beautiful, the way you all feel for your siblings. But what about those of you who are married? Since my query was for the married people basically.
So, does anyone believe life "changes" after marriage? How does it affect your relationship with your siblings, if anyway :)
what i've seen in my family is that none of them have changed one bit after getting married...we are all a big family now with bhabhis, bahnois and their children, alHamdolillah! :) i will never change after i get married, inshaa Allah! :) i'll make this abundantly clear to the one i'll ever marry! :)
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
^ ma sha Allah.
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
my mom is very close to her two younger sisters and her younger bro. she talks abt every thing with her sisters over the phone as they live in the US. inlaws prob, personal prob, day to day doings are discussed. she buys jewellery and other stuff and sends it to them too.
they speak over the phone 2-3 times a week. now, my mom talks to her sisters lesser as she gets updated via my sisters and i as we whatsapp our khalas every day. so basically she is updated on their life every day. same for her brother :)
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
^ and I thought after having grown up kids mothers can never spare any time for siblings!
So didnt you ever find it odd or something, your mom giving considerable time to your khala or mamu in long chatting over phone. How is it from a child's point of view? ever felt jealous? :-p
A) I’m fully involved in my siblings life. They’re all younger than me (20/17/14/2/3 months lol). They like to take advice from me in maters like Uni career etc.
B) not really.
C) I would do absolutely anything for my sisters and brothers. I raised my sisters when my mum would have to work 18hour days. There is nothing that would stop me from helping my sisters and brothers! I fiercely love and protect them. Not to the point where I control them though. They always get to choose their life. I just advise for the better!
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
^ and I thought after having grown up kids mothers can never spare any time for siblings!
So didnt you ever find it odd or something, your mom giving considerable time to your khala or mamu in long chatting over phone. How is it from a child's point of view? ever felt jealous? :-p
nope not at all! my mum lives 20 hr flight away frm her sisters and brother, if she speaks to them over the phone for just half hr, it doesnt make me jealous or annoyed. in fact i feel happy she is close to her sisters and better that then gossiping to the local desi aunties :D
i think that when kids are younger, it's more difficult to keep in touch because of a busy lifestyle. but when kids are teenagers, parents may have more time at hand and thus keep in touch more with their siblings.
i wish my mom was living closer to her sisters :)
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
here's my take on it Mirage ..
healthy involvement in a Siblings life is fine but we must give them their privacy and space enough for them to feel valued. I dont life interfereing in their lives too much .. generally keeping the know how of their life is good enough , if they need help / advise I wouldnt think twice .. if they are being difficult , my job is to let them know the outcome, perhaps even push them slightly towards making the right decisions but I wont try to take over their life for them .. they are responsible for their own well being and life .
yes number of siblings matters .. it can become hard to deal equally with all the siblings if say they are 8-9 of them .. smaller families share much closer relationships in my opinion.. but then things can go wrong either way.. so really it depends on you and them both , how each of them and you relate to each other is what sets the foundation right.
If one of them needs help, I woud help as much as I can but I will expect others to help equally, if they dont, then my equation with them might be different in their time of need ...
We have to remember we are not the parents of our siblings , we are equals and its a give and take relationship ...
If husband has fair reasons to stop wife from helping a sibling , then I will mellow down in favour of husband . But if husband is being irrational and has no reasons but still wants you to stop helping your siblings , then I would have the same treatment with SIL's And BIL's .. in my case , i made it clear to husband from day one that now he and I are both responsible for not just his family but my family too.. there will be problems and issues between our brothers and sisters but it shouldnt affect the overall relationship unless something really out of line happens ... we are both following that strategy to the tee and its helping ..
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
aww that is so sweet. are you that close to your siblings too? 
Re: Your Siblings and their Lives
here's my take on it Mirage ..
healthy involvement in a Siblings life is fine but we must give them their privacy and space enough for them to feel valued. I dont life interfereing in their lives too much .. generally keeping the know how of their life is good enough , if they need help / advise I wouldnt think twice .. if they are being difficult , my job is to let them know the outcome, perhaps even push them slightly towards making the right decisions but I wont try to take over their life for them .. they are responsible for their own well being and life .
yes number of siblings matters .. it can become hard to deal equally with all the siblings if say they are 8-9 of them .. smaller families share much closer relationships in my opinion.. but then things can go wrong either way.. so really it depends on you and them both , how each of them and you relate to each other is what sets the foundation right.
*If one of them needs help, I woud help as much as I can but I will expect others to help equally, if they dont, then my equation with them might be different in their time of need ... We have to remember we are not the parents of our siblings , we are equals and its a give and take relationship ... * If husband has fair reasons to stop wife from helping a sibling , then I will mellow down in favour of husband . But if husband is being irrational and has no reasons but still wants you to stop helping your siblings , then I would have the same treatment with SIL's And BIL's .. in my case , i made it clear to husband from day one that now he and I are both responsible for not just his family but my family too.. there will be problems and issues between our brothers and sisters but it shouldnt affect the overall relationship unless something really out of line happens ... we are both following that strategy to the tee and its helping ..
very very wise words CB, like always. worth having your take on this.