For brides who were/are getting married a second time around, would you still want the whole enchilada for your big day? Or something simple, but sweet? Also, would you be a bridezilla type bride where everything HAS to be perfect and planned, or just let things go with the flow?
for me..i was a lot more calm and just let things happen. My cake was ruined, but I didn’t let that bother me. My bouquet was hideous, but I shrugged it off and said, “eh, it’s okay”. I think other members of my family wanted it to be a big deal and perfect, but for me, it was the marriage, rather than the wedding, that was more important.
For brides who were/are getting married a second time around, would you still want the whole enchilada for your big day? Or something simple, but sweet? Also, would you be a bridezilla type bride where everything HAS to be perfect and planned, or just let things go with the flow?
for me..i was a lot more calm and just let things happen. My cake was ruined, but I didn't let that bother me. My bouquet was hideous, but I shrugged it off and said, "eh, it's okay". I think other members of my family wanted it to be a big deal and perfect, but for me, it was the marriage, rather than the wedding, that was more important.
your thoughts?
1st, 2nd or 3rd: it's still your wedding, hold it in whatever manner you want (and can afford) to. As for the attendees: as long as there are enough seats, good food and adequate ventilation, they'll live. ;-)
Except for the groom I had absolutely NO input over my wedding, not my dress, not the jewelery, the outfits, food, hall, nothing. So if I had to do it all over again, I would have more control over it.
Second time was way way simpler. We went to the mosque with about 20 family members/close friends. We had the Nikkah there. Then we went and had a late lunch/earlier dinner at a nice restaurant. After that my hubby and I went to our new apartment and spent time together.
I was not stressed, I wore a red and ferozi pishwas and got my makeup and hair done. But that was for ME because I wanted it. I got mehndi put on the day before with my cousin. It was very relaxed and enjoyable, no stress, no drama. Fraction of the cost of the first one!
The biggest change in the second was that along with a lovely husband I got two wonderful children aswell. They call it "our" wedding and in a sense it was. We all became one family that day.
Allah likes simplicity, so I hope he blesses our union.
very true! it doesnt matter how many times you get married.. its still your wedding... you shouldnt have to tone it down bc its your second wedding... i say go all out ... why not?? you want to create and make new memories with your new significant other and forget the past old weddings!
1st, 2nd or 3rd: it's still your wedding, hold it in whatever manner you want (and can afford) to. As for the attendees: as long as there are enough seats, good food and adequate ventilation, they'll live. ;-)
very true! it doesnt matter how many times you get married.. its still your wedding... you shouldnt have to tone it down bc its your second wedding... i say go all out ... why not?? you want to create and make new memories with your new significant other and forget the past old weddings!
Agreed !
I know someone from extended family who got married almost 2 years back , it was her 2nd wedding. She even had a child from her previous marriage. Her 2nd marriage was done the way as if it was her first. I don't know her personally but I feel the groom's side of the family also made her feel like as if it was her first. I remember she had all mayoon , mehendi , barat & valima. She even had her barat day makeup done by some very well knows makeup artist.
Its what you want and feel that matters. Whatever makes you happy!
i'm not saying the second wedding has to be toned down..no way. I agree, do it the way you want. I'm just stating that all the feelings of having everything to be perfect didn't affect me. I had a pretty big wedding, I allowed a lot of other people to take care of things and handle stuff..i wanted to enjoy all that i had of single life..lol. and when hiccups arose, i shrugged it off.
I see a lot of girls getting married for the first time and worry and stress over the smallest things....I say: All izz well and go with the flow., ride with the tide.
thats awesome diamond! i all for doing it and having all the rasams again... =)
some memories are meant to be replaced with good ones
Agreed !
I know someone from extended family who got married almost 2 years back , it was her 2nd wedding. She even had a child from her previous marriage. Her 2nd marriage was done the way as if it was her first. I don't know her personally but I feel the groom's side of the family also made her feel like as if it was her first. I remember she had all mayoon , mehendi , barat & valima. She even had her barat day makeup done by some very well knows makeup artist.
Its what you want and feel that matters. Whatever makes you happy!
Afshi, thats great that the second time you enjoyed the single life. I see a lot of brides too running around and being stressed. did you have all the rasams etc? etc?
i'm not saying the second wedding has to be toned down..no way. I agree, do it the way you want. I'm just stating that all the feelings of having everything to be perfect didn't affect me. I had a pretty big wedding, I allowed a lot of other people to take care of things and handle stuff..i wanted to enjoy all that i had of single life..lol. and when hiccups arose, i shrugged it off.
I see a lot of girls getting married for the first time and worry and stress over the smallest things....I say: All izz well and go with the flow., ride with the tide.
sidra....my husband isn't pakistani, so we didnt do much of rasams (dhood pillai, stopping barat, etc)...but i had an amazing mehndi for women - which had all the rasams.
the thing that was different with this shadi was it was with the people that I LOVED and wanted there. not just acquaintances that my parents knew and had to be there. i didnt want that. i wanted to look up from the stage and see people that loved me unconditionally and supported me through thick and thin. Not strangers that would drop by on stage and stash a 100 in my hand. and Alhumdulillah, I'm glad my parents supported that decision.
It was the same with me as well. Had a simple Nikkah at the mosque with immediate family members. At the reception, it was no more than 50 people (this time extended family and a few of our close friends). We also had our wedding during Ramadan so it was actually quite simple, just the way I wanted.
Hubby wanted to have a larger reception, but he was sweet enough to go with what I wanted
And I love your last line. I think it’s very true! May Allah bless you with a great marriage!
Thank you! To you aswell. I think the first time I was so worried about making everyone in my family happy by doing all these big huge events. It was fun, but I got so lost in the planning and stress of it that I didn’t enjoy it at all!
I loved having a small intimate wedding without all the extra bits. I mean I’m all for people who want to have a big wedding again, but for me I was more keen on keeping it simple.
Was it difficult for you to get married during Ramadan? I mean u have to be pretty disciplined with getting up for sehri the next day and all that…usually newly weds like to laze a bit
Thank you! To you aswell. I think the first time I was so worried about making everyone in my family happy by doing all these big huge events. It was fun, but I got so lost in the planning and stress of it that I didn't enjoy it at all!
I loved having a small intimate wedding without all the extra bits. I mean I'm all for people who want to have a big wedding again, but for me I was more keen on keeping it simple.
Was it difficult for you to get married during Ramadan? I mean u have to be pretty disciplined with getting up for sehri the next day and all that...usually newly weds like to laze a bit :)
It wasn't as difficult as some might think. Granted you can't do everything that you normally would be able to (waking up at a later time, the whole next day rasam's and everything), but we didn't have the whole hoopla of it. I think that made it a lot easier as well. And like my mom says, if being married in Ramadan brings more barqat for our marriage, than all the better, right?
It wasn't as difficult as some might think. Granted you can't do everything that you normally would be able to (waking up at a later time, the whole next day rasam's and everything), but we didn't have the whole hoopla of it. I think that made it a lot easier as well. And like my mom says, if being married in Ramadan brings more barqat for our marriage, than all the better, right?
Definitely...Inshallah Allah will reward you greatly
