^ Me too! I'm a big believer is parents being able to raise their children they way they want to......as long as they're not abusing them. I respect a parents right to impose certain restrcitions on their children based on their own values/beliefs......even when those belifs/values may not be the same as mine. It irks me when I see 3rd parties trying to micro-manage mothers (my best friend has 3 kids under 6 and I hear stories about these types of battles from her on a regular basis).
fortunately I didn’t have such interference…so I didn’t really have to stop anyone…and when we drank soda in front of her we would be sure to make horrible faces at every sip when we were being watched…she got scared and never tried it. to this day she does not like it. She may have a sip or two once in a while from my glass but she will refuse it if she is offered her own glass. She even refuses fruit juices (except mango ).
I really dont see a big deal if my kids' naani or daadi gives him a little sip of sharbat or offer some candy. Your kid's health/habit is not going to be spoiled out of occasional act of unhealthy food offering. Your kid is in equal threat of spoiled health/habit when you smooch him or take him in your goudi.
so who actually IS ok when their family members feed their kids soda/cake/etc?
it's funny, most of the kids I've seen, they're given bites and sips of "bad" stuff, grow up perfectly healthy (mashallah) and their parents don't seem to have any problem with it.
I do not have family around and neither is my social circle a huge one that I had to face such interference.On top of that my almost 2.5 yo does not like sweet things so that is kind of a blessing.
She hasn't had a taste of any soda.This ramadan we were having doodh with 7 up for iftaar one evening and she asked for 'milk'.I gave her a sip,she did not like it.The times when we have soda or chai she has not asked for it,not so far atleast.
We do not bring cakes into the house (although I looove them myself...:().Very rarely if we are out and are getting coffee maybe,we get a cake slice or donut etc...she gags on it because it is sweet...!She did not even have her BD Cake.Mommy ate all of that...!!
She has had some ice cream over the past summer.Maybe like once a week or once every two weeks.I have been fine with it.
She happens to like graham crackers (cookies) and if we are out I usually keep those with some crackers in her bag and give her some.But that is also not very usual.
She was very recently bought a candy bar at a check out counter.I was not ok with that.She loved it and now almost every time I have been out since then,at any check-out register she has wanted one.But she hasn't gotten one.I would not be ok with that.
I would say that it has not been hard when it comes to junk food for me.Reasons being we generally do not eat too much of it ourselves and do not have too many family and friends who will try to give her some.And on top of tat her being a picky eater is also a blessing when it comes to all this...!!
so who actually IS ok when their family members feed their kids soda/cake/etc?
it's funny, most of the kids I've seen, they're given bites and sips of "bad" stuff, grow up perfectly healthy (mashallah) and their parents don't seem to have any problem with it.
My mom has fed her some stuff I did not want to.Mostly sweet stuff or for example given her some roti when I wanted to wait till her 1st BD before introducing wheat or making her have a bite of an orange when she was about 8 months old when I wanted to avoid citrus fruits.
Since these were isolated incidents ad we were just visiting for a few weeks,I did not make a huge deal out of it.
Had it been a usual thing,I would have had put my foot down.
so who actually IS ok when their family members feed their kids soda/cake/etc? .
Forget family members....plenty of parents themselves are fine with giving their kids soda/cake/candy and other sweets. Dunno about NY but here in the South, overweight kids drinking big glasses of sodas or over indulging on other crap in public is not a rare sight.
My SIL is fine with my in-laws giving her daughter cake and other sweets during special occassions. But then again, my in-laws live in a different state and only see the little girl 2-3x/YEAR so its far from being their usual routine.
Forget family members....plenty of parents themselves are fine with giving their kids soda/cake/candy and other sweets. Dunno about NY but here in the South, overweight kids drinking big glasses of sodas or over indulging on other crap in public is not a rare sight.
My SIL is fine with my in-laws giving her daughter cake and other sweets during special occassions. But then again, my in-laws live in a different state and only see the little girl 2-3x/YEAR so its far from being their usual routine.
I don't think that's OK. Definitely not on a regular basis. When my nephew was 6 months old, relatives fed him soda and ice cream cake--but MashAllah he's healthy and eats almost everything, including lots and lots of vegetables and fruits (he's 5 now)....I can understand the fear of developing a habit but these things ARE food....not poison.
in the latter post, that's how it should be I think--if parents are strict enough with their chlid's diet, they know a little bit during special occasions won't kill them.
Personally I dont' think I've offered food that a parent would get offended at.....or at lesat I've never been reprimanded for it.
wow good to hear that most of the mom's children doesnt like sweets n sodas....n ofcourse u have not offered them these things thats why ur children have developed this habit.....
i personally think its not good to give sweets n sodas on occassional purposes too....coz babies doesnt know that they r being offered "occassionally"....who knows...all these things r sooo yummy....even we get addicted to a specific sweet/junk food wen we eat it for the first time...
so what is a good age for children to start with cake, soda and all the junk stuff?? i am assuming you can only control it up until the time they start speaking fully and asking for the things themselves. especially if they notice other children around them at parties and stuff right?
and how would/have you handled them asking in front of other parents that are allowing it?
I was at a party and this 3 year old asked me for soda, I told her oh no, this isnt for kids and her mom told me to give it her but just dilute it (soda plus water) umm didnt make sense to me! why even start that habbit? khair, to each on their own!
Isnt it funny that all of us GS mothers are raising our kids just perfect but so many otehrs dont? I wanted to wiat for roti bread etc but gosh my mom told me about 100 other women who give roti to their kids at 4 months and they do just fine.. guess who won? she did! my bacha, at 9 n half months, eats from our plate now! She gives him all sorts of fruits but honestly I dont say much.. I have made clear that no honey, no egg, no dairy and she is okay with it.. other than that he spends 8 hours with her everyday, she feeds him all day long, I cant control everything that she gives to him.. I have to be at work so I guess it comes with some compromises!
I am sure he will turn out just fine inshaAllah.. he truly will be an example of, "if mommy says no, ask grandma"
Well I would discourage giving sweets etc to any kid till they are addicted to healthy food and think its normal to eat it.
my cousins and I are different they had much more freedom to what they were able to eat. They ate all the candy that was given to them, they always had candy in the house, cereal in the morning etc while we had fruits, vegetables the occasional candy/ice cream but it wasn't an everyday thing.
Guess who has weight problems? because I'm telling you it wasn't the kid who was eating healthy from the start.
^ When my daughter had just turned 4 months so many aunties told me to start giving her fried anda One even told me that “yahan ke doctors to recommend bhi karte hain ke 4 mahino pe anda dena start karo” I don’t what doctors she’s been seeing but I didn’t introduce any solids until my daughter was 6months. The key is to listen from one ear, nod and smile and doosre se nikal dena. It must be harder for those living with their inlaws though … In the end of the day that is your child and you will do what is best for your child. Do not give in to whatever the aunties are saying, they may be older but not necessarily wiser.
I really dont see a big deal if my kids' naani or daadi gives him a little sip of sharbat or offer some candy. Your kid's health/habit is not going to be spoiled out of occasional act of unhealthy food offering. Your kid is in equal threat of spoiled health/habit when you smooch him or take him in your goudi.
calm down.
There's no wrong in giving your child a sip of juice or a candy bar once in a while. BUT giving a baby/toddler soda? Not ok. People need to respect a mothers wishes, some people just don't get that.
If you want your kid to have so many problems in the future because you thought it was ok to give him/her a little bit here and there. Then thats fine by all means enjoy the medical bills and tantrums.
At the end of the day its not my kid so it won't be my problem but if you ever want to feed my kid anything you will ask me because god forbid what if he/she was allergic to whatever you gave her/him?
There's no wrong in giving your child a sip of juice or a candy bar once in a while. BUT giving a baby/toddler soda? Not ok. People need to respect a mothers wishes, some people just don't get that.
yes its not a bad thing to ask mom first what to feed your child what not....
everyone has different preference of foods to give to their children.....n every child react to a certain food differently.....
This seems to be a very desi thing. We live in a town where there are no desis, our social circle is pretty much all white people. They are very respectful and before they give your child ANYTHING they ask if it's OK. In fact, if my kid is playing with my friend's kid and my friend wants to give his/her own kid some candy or whatever, they ask if it's OK to do so in front of my kid and if my kid can have some too.
Desi people's tendency to give your kid soda, chai, candy without asking is just very disrespectful. No one in my family does this. I have never had to deal with thank God.
We drink soda all the time in front of Lila and tell her that she can’t have any. Is it a double standard? Yes. Do I care? No. I tell her she can have soda when she’s older. Once I was out at a restaurant with a bunch of friends and we were having soda and my buddy was having a beer. Lila was being really good and kind of asked if she could try the soda (she doesn’t do this very often), so I gave her a sip of beer, this was a 14 months ago, she hasn’t asked since.
My instinct is to freak out and lash out, though it's not the best way to handle it. I say no or hubby does. But depending on the age/circumstance/food item, I may let it go (like a bit of ice cream for my 6 month old upset me and I said it should not happen again but let it go, but a sip of soda or something is absolutely not allowed or encouraged and I would be really angry if someone allowed it).
i'm the SAME. seriously.
my aunt tried to give him cake when he was 8 months old and i was just like, what? what're you doing to my child??
everyone rolled their eyes, laughed, etc. but i was PEEVED. don't give my kid junk food! wth.
generally though, people are pretty respectful with the exception of a few that i keep my eye on. those people in particular are intent on introducing coke to him. man, i can't wait till they have kids! its allll gonna blow up in their faces then!
The worst part is when they make you feel like you are being cruel and deprivong your child of the better things in life -- that is ridiculous!
yes, whats up with that? i'm glad you grew up on soda and cake, but you're not my kid, so back off.
and i'm not saying that i "deprive" him- he's tasted ice cream and liked it, he loves an occasional arrowroot cookie too, but pop is just a total no-no, as is having dessert all the time, whereever we are, on a regular basis. its not necessary, and it doesn't need to become an expectation for him. he's not missing anything- he doesn't even know whats going on!
to this day she does not like it. She may have a sip or two once in a while from my glass but she will refuse it if she is offered her own glass. She even refuses fruit juices (except mango 
One even told me that “yahan ke doctors to recommend bhi karte hain ke 4 mahino pe anda dena start karo” 
I don’t what doctors she’s been seeing but I didn’t introduce any solids until my daughter was 6months. The key is to listen from one ear, nod and smile and doosre se nikal dena. It must be harder for those living with their inlaws though … In the end of the day that is your child and you will do what is best for your child. Do not give in to whatever the aunties are saying, they may be older but not necessarily wiser.